Category: Ladies Only

by: Sandy Domelle

I enjoy so much when the Lord sends me reminders of His goodness and love in ways that I least expect. Sometimes His reminder is for me to keep going, or to grow in an area in which I’ve not recently seen growth. One of these reminders came while out soul winning a few weeks ago when we knocked on the door of a sweet lady. This lady, Elisabeth, was in her mid 60’s, and very open to me telling her about our church and the Lord. She was saved at the age of 12, but had gotten away from church until just a few years ago. As we chatted, her daughter came into the room and she shared some great stories about her mom. Elisabeth, was packing her things to move to New Mexico to live with her daughter because her husband had passed away last year and she was lonely without family. She told me that when she was younger, she had a Sunday school teacher who told them every Sunday that they could do whatever they put their minds to with God’s help. She taught them to never to limit themselves.

Before she lost her husband, she learned to play the piano at the age of 60. She said she had always wanted to do it when she was younger, but her parents couldn’t afford the lessons. One Sunday, sitting in church, their pastor asked that they pray for more piano players. When she got home, she told her husband she wished she had learned years ago. He said, “It’s never too late to learn something new.” She was very unsure about the idea, but she began taking lessons. She played for me as I sat there, and she did a great job. Honestly, she sounded as if she played for church on a weekly basis.

When I left Elisabeth and her daughter, I couldn’t help but think of how often we limit ourselves by thinking that our age, health, or other excuses keep us from doing what we can or should be doing. God created each one of us for a purpose, and I have to admit there are times when I just don’t want to do something, but I know God has placed the situation in my path to help grow me and make me a stronger Christian. Some things make me a better wife, some things make me a better parent, some make me a better daughter or sister, and some things just help me help others. When we put forth excuses as to why we can’t or won’t learn something new, we limit what God can do in our lives.

God says in 2 Chronicles 16:9, “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. Herein thou hast done foolishly: therefore from henceforth thou shalt have wars.” This verse teaches us that God wants to be strong through us. That means the only reason God is not strong through us is because we limit Him. When you limit God, you are limiting yourself. Israel limited God in Psalm 78:41 when it says, “Yea, they turned back and tempted God, and limited the Holy One of Israel.” Israel’s act of limiting God caused them to limit themselves. Let me give you a few thoughts on how to avoid limiting yourself.

     1. Don’t let your age limit you from growing in the Lord.

When the lady in the story above removed her age as a limit to learning the piano, then God was able to use her. The older we get, the more we must be careful not to think we are too old to do something. Likewise, you must not think you are too young to do something for God. Age can limit us whether we are old or young. Remember, if God has laid something on your heart to do, then He has the power to help you do that job.

     2. Don’t let your attitude limit you.

Our attitude can be one of the biggest things that limit us from doing things for God. When you have a bad or negative attitude, then you have limited God from being able to work through you. You must always keep a positive attitude that God has the power to help you do what to you may seem impossible.

     3. Don’t let the hardness of a situation limit you.

Hard things can sometimes cause us to put a limit on what we can do. In times when you think something is too hard to do, remember Philippians 4:13 when it says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” If you develop an “I CAN” attitude, then no matter how hard the situation is that you face, you will find that God will help you accomplish that task.

     4. Faith in God will remove all limits from you.

It really all comes down to this, you must have faith in God when you think you are at your limit. God allows us to face limits so that we can have faith in Him to realize that He has no limits. There have been many times in my life when I have had to trust God by faith and step out and do things I thought I could not do. I have always found when I step out by faith and not limit myself, that God steps in and helps me grow and accomplish what He knew I already could do.

ARE YOU BEING WILED?
by: Bette Owens

“Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” Ephesians 6:11

Living for Christ here in this world is like a child walking through a candy store without wanting some candy. There are so many things in life that can tempt us as Christians. We already know what the world has to offer, but find it hard to believe that everything it has to offer is a trick of the Devil to trap us. Ephesians 6:11 talks about the wiles of the Devil. To wile someone you would persuade them or even manipulate them to do what you want. Wiles are the tricky, sly and deceitful things that the Devil uses to draw us away from God and His will. The Devil is an expert at distracting our attention away from God’s plan for us. In 1 Peter 5:8 it says, “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” We have to be alert and always watching. We cannot just sit back and get relaxed in our Christian life. The Devil is constantly seeking to lure us into his trap. That old Devil wants nothing better than to wile us.

Yes, Satan wants to wile you; he desires to woo you away from godliness to unholiness, he loves to make a fool of us and our Christian testimony, but he is sly. The Devil slowly gets our attention. He uses any means he can to slowly pull us away from Christ. He uses things like television, internet, magazines, ungodly friends, laziness and even disgruntled Christians. Before long we are thinking just like the world and we don’t even realize that we’ve been manipulated into a trap.

That old Devil slowly introduces us to things that are not of God. He gets us acquainted with something or someone who slowly lures us away from God and His Word. He will use seemingly innocent things that are appealing to us, but have no real eternal value for us. He knows exactly what will attract us. He knows just what each and every one of us are attracted to and what he can use to lure us. Just one little glance, just one little thought, little by little, inch by inch and before long we know all about that worldly idea. Oh, we think we know right from wrong, we think we are strong; but pretty soon, even what we know as wrong we are involved in, all because we looked briefly and tasted. The Devil is good at blurring our decision maker, and before you know it we are involved in things that are against God and the Bible and they are destroying us. Before you know it, we are lured away and involved in ungodly ideas and deeds.

The Devil also uses things that “seem” good to lure us away from God. He will use family, friends, a new baby, grandchildren, a job, and even sickness to get us off-track. I know many ladies who were busy serving in the church, going soul winning and teaching Sunday school, but when God blessed them with a baby, they stopped serving the Lord. The Devil uses that sweet little baby to lure us away from faithfulness, and before you know it the nursery isn’t good enough for your baby, and you get off-track and get farther and farther away from God. It happens with grandchildren. We can’t wait to be blessed with grandchildren, but when the grandchild arrives, we stop doing what we were doing for God because we are now a grandmother and it is time to retire and spend time with our grandchildren. Yes, mom and grand-mom, the Devil can use your child to wile you away from God. How about the friends that we have? If we are not careful the Devil will use them to wile us into his trap. We get so close to our friends that we don’t even realize Satan has used them to wile us. Just because you have a good friend doesn’t mean that Satan cannot use them to wile you.

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If one of your children is getting married, you’d better be careful, because you can get so wrapped up with wedding plans that, before you know it, that old sly fox has you. Something as seemingly harmless as reading a book with only one worldly idea can put all kinds of wrong ideas in our minds. We have to be careful, we have to be on guard at all times and daily watch out for the wiles of the Devil. That old Devil knows how to slowly slip in and draw us away before we even realize what is going on. The only way to resist Satan is by getting in God’s Word and using His Sword to recognize and fight off the wiles as they come.

When we are tricked by the wiles of the Devil, we end up far away from Christ. The wiles of the Devil cause us to have a broken relationship with Jesus Christ. Sin and Christ cannot mix. Being trapped by the Devil is a scary place to be but so is being wiled by the Devil. We don’t want to be in his trap, but often we see no problem with his wiles. If you don’t want to be devoured by Satan, then keep a spiritual eye out for his wiles. The Devil is so sly that by the time we realize what is going on, our relationship with God is already destroyed and then we start to wonder how we got so off-track.

The wiles of the Devil are small tiny steps in the wrong direction that trap us into ungodliness. We need to make sure we are watching out for the wiles of the Devil. If we aren’t watching out for those little things that creep in, we will easily get caught in the big snare of the Devil. The only way we can stand against the wiles of the Devil is by obeying.

Ephesians 6: 11-18 says, “Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;”

We need to make sure we daily fill ourselves with the truth; God’s Word is Truth. We need to live righteous lives, obedient to every word of God. We need to make sure we are winning souls and spreading the Gospel. We need to live by faith, and that faith needs to be in Jesus Christ and His Word alone. We need to pick up our helmet of salvation and realize that if God is powerful enough to save from Hell, then His weapons are powerful enough against the wiles of the Devil. The sword of the Spirit, God’s Word, is our most effective weapon against the Devil, this evil world and our flesh. We need to read It, study It and memorize It. When the wiles come, will you recognize and avoid them, thus avoiding the Devil’s traps?

Mrs. Bette Owens
Pastor’s wife
Westside Baptist Church
Pacifica, CA

CHOSEN FOR THE “SPECIAL” RESPONSIBILITY
by: Tamra Wenger

GOD HAS A PLAN! I am blessed to be a wife of 23 plus years and the mother of four very precious and special gifts from God, my children. My husband, Joe, wanted me to be a “full time” wife and a “stay-at-home” mom. So, I’m thankful for the opportunity to be able to invest in the lives of my children and to train them up in the way they should go.

While I would love to elaborate on all of my children, let me tell you about our Skylar. We call her our “two minute baby.” We had planned to induce labor for all of our children, but the morning Skylar was scheduled for inducement, she woke me up at 5:30 A.M. by putting me into labor! By the time I got to the hospital, she was born two minutes later. She was so beautiful and everything seemed to be “normal.” Forty-five minutes after arriving, she even pulled my mother’s glasses off of her face.

We were so excited about our new arrival!

As with all of our children, the first few months were a time to begin learning about this precious gift God gave to us. We learned that she was not able to tolerate regular baby formula, and almost a year later we discovered she was allergic to soy milk as well. Through much trial and error, Skylar ended up on rice milk. It was not long before we started to notice that she was not meeting typical childhood milestones. She started crawling when she was about sixteen months and walking about two years of age. Both of which are twice the normal time frame. About the time most kids start saying, “Momma” and “Dada,” our Skylar was still making nothing but baby sounds. At almost fifteen years of age, she still speaks a lot of “baby-talk.” Most children are potty-trained by age five, currently Skylar is not completely there.

No parent wants to admit that their child is abnormal. Going into denial about there being something wrong with your child is common. Some even start playing the “blame-game” to figure out who “caused” this situation and why God would “punish” us this way. Emotions could run high as well as tempers being short. Fortunately, we never went there as through the years God already taught my Honey and me that He is always in control and always has a plan.

For many years whenever we asked, doctors would only use the term “developmentally delayed.” To me, “delayed” meant that she would eventually catch up. I can vividly remember the day that I took Skylar to the children’s hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas. There, the doctors finally gave her the official diagnoses of being “moderately retarded.” It hit me like a ton a bricks. I realized that she was not going to get “caught up” this side of Heaven and that she would depend on my husband and me for the rest of her life. So much for ever being “empty nesters.”

God, through Skylar, has taught us many things through the years. Here are a few things which have helped me the most.

1. We realize that Skylar opens doors. She can open the door to talking to people everyday that we cannot. That is why my husband wrote a Gospel tract with Skylar’s picture on it. We wanted her to have a voice in giving a clear presentation of knowing how to go to Heaven. We let her give that track out to everyone who strikes up a conversation with her. She loves going “soul winning!”

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2. We learned to appreciate the “small” things in life. Although everything came easily to our other children, we have celebrated every “little” accomplishment with Skylar. She has helped us appreciate all victories, regardless of size. From her learning to go potty, and or her being able to speak a complete sentence that is relative to the situation. There are times she simply amazes us by knowing a particular word. Even the task of her learning to turn a page in a book was a blessing to watch.

3. Skylar has been our family’s best teacher. When I grew up, I was not around special needs people. Whenever I saw them, I was afraid to talk to them. My children, however, have no such problem talking to anyone, much less to someone special! They have learned to reach out and love on others and to be blessings and encouraging to others.

Being the mother of a special needs child has its own set of challenges and rewards. Let’s stop for a minute and remember that God CHOSE us for the “special” responsibility of being their parents, their voices and their avenues to make their lives count for Christ.

Tamra Wenger
Longview Baptist Temple
Longview, TX

I HATE PULLING WEEDS
by: Sandy Domelle

I don’t know about you, but I love looking at pretty flower beds. There is nothing like looking at a house that has a beautiful flower bed in front of it. If you grow flowers and do your own gardening, you have probably started to see some weeds that already need to be pulled. One of the things I enjoy least about pretty flowers and gardening is getting out and spending time pulling weeds, but if I want a pretty flower bed or a great garden, it’s a needed process.

The Bible talks about weeds in Matthew 13. It says there was a man who went to sow seeds. This man was sowing a wheat field. He had the best seed that you could use. Yet, though he had good seed, he still had to deal with weeds. Verse 25 says, “But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.” The Bible calls weeds, “tares.” As the weeds began to grow, apparently the servants didn’t weed the field. Because they didn’t take care of the weeds, they ended up having to wait till harvest to separate the wheat from the tares. If they had pulled the weeds when they first started growing, then they would not have had the problem of the tares taking over the field.

I’ve learned with my own gardening that it’s easiest if I start to pull weeds when I first begin to see them; otherwise, it starts to get out of hand and eventually overruns the whole flower bed. It doesn’t matter how pretty the flowers are, if I don’t pull the weeds they will ruin the beauty of the flowers.

Our life is like a flower bed. There are a lot of pretty flowers that God places in our life, but the weeds we allow to grow in our life destroy the good. In my own life, I have to be sure to take care of the weeds. The weeds in our life is sin. Sin will ruin the flower bed of our life if we don’t take care of them. Let me give you some thoughts about weeds and how to take care of them.

 1. There are no flower beds without weeds.

Let’s be honest with ourselves and acknowledge that we all have sin that we need to take care of. God says in Romans 3:10, “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:” Notice, if none are righteous, then all have sinned. God says in 1 John 1:8, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” You can ignore the weeds of sin in your life, but you are only hurting yourself. Let the Word of God show you the weeds in your life. Ask God to show you the weeds so that you can get rid of them.

 2. There are no pretty weeds.

Have you ever seen what you thought was a flower only to find out that it was a weed? Sometimes those pretty little weeds seem harmless, but they are still a weed, and they will still hurt the rest of the flowers. If we are not careful, we will think that our sin is not that ugly. Ladies, all sin is ugly! You have got to stop looking at the weeds of others and look at how ugly your weeds are. Don’t ever get to the point where you don’t think your sins are that bad. All sin is bad, and all sin is ugly.

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 3. Weeds grow faster than plants.

It always amazes me how you can plant flowers and expect them to blossom quickly, yet before you know it the weeds have already started growing and blooming. You must be careful not to allow sin to give you pleasure. Hebrews 11:25 tells us that sin will give pleasure when it says, “Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season;” Yes, just like a weed, sin grows fast. It may even seem harmless for awhile, but Proverbs 16:25 reminds us about the end of sin when it says, “There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” You must be patient with the flowers of your life, and keep the weeds of sin out. You can get discouraged if you allow how rapidly sin grows to overshadow the true flowers that are taking root in your life. Don’t let the weeds of sin grow in your life. They may be enjoyable for a season, but they are heartache in the end.

 4. Weeds will take over the good.

Just like the tares in the parable began to take over the wheat field, sin will begin to take over your life and control you. Proverbs 5:22 says, “His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins.” If you don’t care of the weeds of sin in your life, before long you will find your life is filled with sin. Sin always starts small, but like a weed it will grow quickly to the point that you are under its control. You must get rid of the weeds of sin if you want the flowers of your life to bloom.

 5. Weeds must be take care of early.

The best time to take care of weeds is when they are small. We hear preachers often say to keep a short account with God, and they are right. They are trying to get us to get rid of the sin at the beginning. I have found that if I pull the weeds when they are small and barely coming up that I will have an easier time keeping the weeds out of the flower bed. Likewise, if you will get rid of sin in the early stages, then you will never have to be concerned about them taking over the flower bed of your life.

 6. You kill the weeds by killing the roots.

It’s so easy when you are pulling weeds to only pull off the green part of the weed. The problem with that is you are not killing the roots. You may be putting a temporary fix to the weed, but the weed is still there. We often try to cover our sin but don’t take care of its root. When we are caught in sin, we tell people, “I’m sorry,” but “I’m sorry” doesn’t get rid of the root. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” If you are going to remove the weed of sin, then you must get rid of its roots by confessing them to God and forsaking the sin. Don’t just say, “I’m sorry,” but get rid of it.

God wants your life to be like a pretty flower bed that shows the beauty of Christ to this world. If we let weeds grow in our life, the world will not see the beauty. As unpleasant as it is to pull weeds, don’t let the unpleasantness keep you from getting rid of your sin. If you take care of your sin early, then it will be a whole lot easier to take care of the new weeds and keep the flowers of God’s blessings blooming in your life.

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE
by: Bette Owens

Jesus said in John 9:5, “As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” But, He also said in Matthew 5:14, “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.”

I was humming the song, “This Little Light Of Mine,” and then I started thinking about my light and the condition is it in. Actually, I am the light. My next thought was, whatever condition I am in is the condition of my light. Is my light shining as bright as it should through the battles of life? Does my light give light to others? When others are struggling and having a hard time seeing clearly, is my light there, shining brightly and helping them through life? What are some problems that can make our light flicker, go dim or not shine like it should? I simply started to think about the light bulbs all around us.

A light bulb not connected to the main power source will be a problem. If you never have accepted Christ as your Saviour, then your light will not be able to shine. Salvation is the power source that makes the light glow. Jesus Christ is our main power source, and without Him we can not shine. Without Him there is no power for us to shine.

Maybe you are saved, connected to the power source, but there is a bad connection. I know I say it over and over again, but if we don’t faithfully read God’s Word or allow God’s Word to get into us, we will not have the strength or power we need to shine for Him. The less time we spend in God’s Word, or spending no time with our power source, is like a broken wire or a switch turned off, which will stop the flow of power. Unless we get into God’s Word and spend time with Him, our light will go off and eventually be of no effect. I remember times when we had a bad headlight in our van. My husband would have to get out and hit the headlight, sometimes shake it a little and it would come on. This went on for sometime until hitting and shaking did not work any more and he had to change the bulb. This was just like depending only on preaching to get God’s Word. The preaching shakes us up and we brighten, but only for awhile. How many times in our lives do we have to be shaken and hit before we realize we need to change some things? We need to make sure that God’s Word is connected directly to us and flowing through us. Changing the headlight was a very simple fix so that the power could produce light. Reading God’s Word is a simple solution. This is true in our spiritual life; it is usually just the simple little things that we need to change, like not neglecting God’s Word, taking time to pray, obeying and putting God first.

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You might be plugged in, you have accepted Christ and your power is on, but your light is still very dim. Our light might not be shining very bright because there is dirt on the bulb, we have a dirty globe. The globe is the part of the bulb that the light shines through. The things of the world will very quickly make our globe dirty and dim the light. This is a Christian who reads the Bible and prays, but also continues in sin. Our bodies are the temple of God. Our bodies are what the Holy Spirit shines through. Sin allows the filth and cares of the world to put dust and dirt on our globe so God’s light cannot shine through. Sin can even stop us from realizing how dusty our globes are. It seems like I can dust my light fixtures or take them down and wash them, but the dust just keeps collecting right back on them. The same thing happens to us spiritually and we have to keep cleaning ourselves up. Every day we must clean off the dirt and dust. This world constantly clouds our thinking, dirties our lives, and dims the light of Jesus. We not only have to read God’s Word, but must make sure we follow its directions to clean us up and to live our lives. How we think, what we wear, where we go, how we treat others, everything we do and every step we take in life needs to line up with God’s Word. A good bulb is one whose light brightens the darkness outside, but the darkness outside does not dim the bulb.

Sometimes our light doesn’t shine bright because of a bad bulb. Oh, the power is on, but somewhere in the bulb there is a short. Sin can also short-circuit the power. Sometimes right before a bulb burns out it starts to flicker, it shines bright and flickers, goes dull and then shines bright again. It will continue to flicker back and forth until eventually it burns completely out. So many Christians are like a light bulb going bad. We shine bright and are busy serving in church and then something comes along and we start to flicker. We have a problem and start flickering on and off, then we get over it and start shining again. We get into God’s Word and start talking to God, confess our sin and start getting faithful to church again. Then heartache comes, unjust treatment comes, things just don’t seem fair, it could even be a time you just feel lonely by standing alone for right, so we start to flicker. When a bulb starts to flicker it is because there is a weak place in the flow of power, there is a problem somewhere. A flickering bulb is a sign of trouble. Eventually the bulb will continue to weaken and the power will not be able to shine through and the bulb will burn out. The same thing happens in our Christian life. When we start to flicker, become unfaithful or inconsistent, we need to look for the problem. It is less difficult to be consistent than to flicker on and off. Inconsistency will eventually lead to burn out. When a light bulb keeps flickering it really isn’t much good because it will not last long. Just like we need to have a consistent light that we can count on to shine, we also need to be a consistent light shining for Jesus Christ.

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When we aren’t a consistent light, others will be effected by our flickering. Our families need to see a consistent light. Your husband and children need someone whom they can count on to be consistent, not one that is on today and off tomorrow. A flickering light is actually very annoying. We are like a flashlight to others. What good is a flashlight that is weak or flickering when there is trouble and you need it? Others need to see someone who consistently shines no matter what comes their way. Others may think you are a fanatic, others may think you are too strict, others may think a little dust won’t hurt, and others may think God will understand if we are too busy for church, but you are actually the light that they need to see. Others need to see a lady who loves God and is connected to the power source of God’s Word and will not let anything keep her light from shining. They need to see a Christian lady who consistently works at keeping her light bright and shining. Perfect? No, but a woman who fears God and believes His Word and follows Him and Him alone. Her loyalty is to Jesus and no one else, because He is the only way she can shine.

This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Let it shine till Jesus comes, I’m going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Mrs. Bette Owens
Pastor’s wife
Westside Baptist Church
Pacifica, CA

LET’S GROW OLD TOGETHER
by: Sandy Domelle

How often do we see pictures of an older couple walking hand in hand down the road or sitting snuggled together on a park bench and just have to smile? Or, have you seen some of the sweetest older couples sitting so happy together in church? In our minds, when we see couples like this, we are thinking we also want to grow old with our husband. I see warmth, security and love in these older couples. That’s what part of a marriage is about.

My husband’s grandparents were married for over 70 years when his grandmother passed away. When you hear how many years the older generations stayed married, it gives us hope that even in a day and age where we hear of a high divorce rate, people who have been married 3 or more times, or people who only want to live together and not marry, that we CAN have a long and successful marriage.

I desire deeply to have a close relationship with my husband and to grow old with him.  Because I desire this, I am more apt to do all I can to make it successful. Does it mean that we won’t have times when we disagree on a topic or situation. No, we are human! But, in my Bible reading this year I’ve focused on Scripture that helps to keep me going as a wife. Let me share a few thoughts on which I’ve been thinking.

 1. If your relationship with the Lord isn’t strong, your marriage won’t be as strong as it can be.

The key to every relationship is having a strong relationship with the Lord. Psalm 127:1 says, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.” God should be the foundation upon which every relationship is built. This is why it’s important to have a daily time when you read your Bible and pray. When you’re right with God, you will be right with your spouse.

 2. I work daily on being the submissive wife I am commanded to be.

Ephesians 5:22 says, ‘Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” The world wants to make submission a bigger issue than what it should be. If I live my life desiring to be what God created me to be, I will want to please my husband. In pleasing my husband I will be submissive and it won’t be a huge issue. In fact, you really won’t even think about it. God placed my husband as the head of the home, and I am very willing to follow. Why can I say that? Because I have purposely decided I will submit myself to the Lord and my husband. When we make huge decisions in our home, we talk about them together, but I always leave that final decision to my husband. In doing so, I am submitting and following the role in the home that I should have. I’ve seen too many working women who feel that since they bring home the money that they should have control of what goes on in the home and how the money is spent. I’ve also seen where they knock the submission role, yet they are more than willing to submit to their authorities at work.

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 3. I strive to keep my focus on daily meeting my hubby’s needs.

Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” God created Eve to be a help meet. My purpose as a wife is to help my husband. He may need clean clothes, a clean house, his bed made, etc. Those are things that I feel are my job in helping to care for my husband. They make him happy, and in return it makes me happy that I am helping him. I talked to a lady who told me I needed a real job, a career job, because I was nothing more than a glorified maid. That may be how she looks at it, and I know I wasn’t about to change her mind, but I know that God made me for the specific purpose of being a help meet. It doesn’t matter what the world may think, it matters to me that I am serving the Lord by doing what He made me to do, and in return I have a very happy hubby! That’s my goal!

 4. Spend time together.

When your husband is home, be home for him. Don’t be out with your friends because you were trapped at home all day or had to work and are stressed out. My most favorite person to spend time with is my husband. When he is home we will run errands together, work on things for the Lord’s work together, work on the yard together and so much more. I enjoy spending time with him.

 5. Have fun together.

No matter how many years you’ve been married, date times should be often and fun. I enjoy hearing my husband laugh, and I enjoy having fun with him. Having fun doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money. You can do so many things that don’t require spending a dime, and yet the memories you make are lasting ones. I can’t tell you how many times my parents talk about how they’d live for the weekends when they were first married when they would go to the creek to go fishing. My dad has the funniest stories that keep my mom and the rest of us laughing to this day.

6. Be as close as you can be to each other.

By this I mean, some women feel so close to a specific friend that they have to call them about everything, tell them about everything and can’t wait to always go do something with them. There is no person in my life that I want to be with more than my husband, for he is my best friend. I love being with him. He is the first one I want to call when I’m excited about something.

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7. Be a good listener.

I listen for things that I feel will make my husband happy. It may be the little things of sewing the button back on his shirt that just popped off, but it can also be knowing he’s had a long busy week and knowing that if I can accomplish a few extra things for him, he will have more time to spend with us as a family. If he knows he has to mow the lawn when he gets home, that is something very simple that I can do for him so that he doesn’t need to do it when he gets home. If you would learn to listen to your husband, you would find that he will unintentionally mention things you can do to make him happy.

8. Pray for your husband.

I have a list of general things I pray for my husband, but I have some specific things for which I also pray. Nothing knits two hearts together like prayer. I know he prays for me daily, and if I know I’m praying for him, then I know God has the ability to hear us and keep our marriage strong. I pray for many things for him; his relationship with the Lord, his leadership, wisdom, his role as a husband and father, his preaching, his travels, his health, protection from Satan, our marriage and so much more.

All of these things are ways that I will grow old together with my husband. I work at things on a daily basis to keep myself in check. It can be the little things that tear a marriage apart. I pray earnestly for the Lord to help me always be aware of Satan’s attack against our marriage. I want our children and grandchildren to have the chance to have a strong Christian marriage!

VICTORY THROUGH SUFFERING
THE TRUE STORY OF MR. LARRY NICHELL AS PREPARED BY HIS MOTHER
by: Neva Lanning

Please let me tell you of a beautiful life and most courageous death of a young man.

As a boy he was obedient, pleasant, and never in any serious trouble. He enjoyed hunting, fishing and his cars. After high school he found good employment. However, soon after his employment, things heated up in Vietnam. Realizing he would be drafted he enlisted for three years.

During the previous year, he spent many evenings in his room studying the Bible. God used those evenings to speak to his heart. He realized his need to be saved andd received the Lord Jesus Christ into his heart and life. He was baptized and added to his local church the very day he was inducted into the U.S. Army.

Chris t changed his life completely. “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) He experienced a day to day fellowship with the Lord Jesus throughout his military life. He was a faithful witness. He won a soldier to Christ while in Germany and both sent their tithes and offerings back to his church. That convert was baptized and continued serving the Lord upon his return to the States.

While other soldiers spent their evenings dating, drinking, and gambling, this very special young Christian quietly read his Bible while in his bunk. His off duty days were often spent at an orphanage nearby, showing love to the precious children who had no parents to love them.  He found joy in leading a life completely separated from the world system.

God watched over him in the life threatening jungle warfare of Vietnam. Though many were killed around him, our boy returned safely to those who loved him so much.

Upon returning home, he soon married a girl whom he believed was God’s choice for him. God blessed them with two precious children. He had a wonderful job with an eastern Kentucky coal company and was held in high regard at his place of employment. He bought a farm in the mountains he so dearly loved and eventually had a fine, comfortable home there.

Because he love the Lord and the precious souls of men, he faithfully served in a country church working with the bus ministry and junior church. He traveled many miles up muddy mountain roads, and sometimes dry creek beds, to load up his bus with children and adults. He often spent Saturdays involved in activities for his church youth group or out on visitation, as well as visiting the sick. Much money and many hours were spent in this tireless youth work. He gave them treats, prizes and rewarded them for good behavior. Thus, many came to be taught the Gospel and were saved. His church loved him and especially those children. Only eternity will reveal all the results of his ministry. Vacation time often found him either hunting with his brother in the mountains of Virginia or taking his family to a great Bible camp in Georgia.

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In the midst of such a life of loving service, he experienced health problems that soon were diagnosed as cancer. The surgeon reported to the family that the cancer had spread considerably and was terminal. “If someone in my family is to suffer this, I’m glad it’s me. I know that I’m saved and ready for Heaven,” he said. His continual faith and courage left us with a testimony never to be forgotten. He found that into the most tragic of situations, God’s constant presence and precious promises were sufficient for the remaining year of declining strength and health, including his last and forty-fifth birthday. Though hundreds of friends and relatives pleaded with God for his life, we would acknowledge that God’s thoughts and ways are above ours.

The following are only a few of the many promises our loved one claimed during his illness that brought comfort to his heart.

“Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.” (Job 13:15

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

“For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

“But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.” (Psalm 73:26)

When we don’t understand what God is doing in a life, we must have faith to believe that everything is in His control. Only when we get to Heaven will we have all the answers. When we die, we don’t lose our life; we just change it for a much better one. The hardships and heartaches we endure in this life are given by the Master for the purpose of enabling us to win a crown.

The hardest things are those the world knows little about, the trials, burdens and sorrows hidden in our heart and known only to God. It isn’t how long we live, but how well we live that counts for eternity.

We learn through difficult experiences that God is good and no matter how bad life may get, when we get to Heaven one day, and all the bad times are past, we will fully understand and praise Him for His goodness.

Neva Lanning
Faithful church member
Cynthiana, KY

RAISING CHILDREN WITH CONFIDENCE
by: Bette Owens

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” – Philippians 1:6

Someone said to me one day, “I have met several of your children and want to know how you were able to instill confidence in them?” As I thought about this I began to realize not only how important it is to have confidence, but to put our confidence in the right person or thing. “Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint.” (Proverbs 25:19). As parents we want our children to have confidence, but their confidence must be placed in the Lord. Confidence in the wrong thing can destroy us. First, we need to make sure that we as parents have our confidence in the right thing. We all like to say that our confidence is in God and we love the Bible and we live by It, but do we really? Do we follow that Book when it means being different, or do we waver and put our confidence in others and what they say and think? Are we confident in what God says, or do we make excuses for Him by saying such things as, “He doesn’t mean that” or “that was a long time ago, it is different now” or “God will understand”? Do we really believe the Bible in all areas or just concerning salvation? Is our confidence in God or man? This world has filled our minds with so much twisted thinking that we find it easy to shift our confidence away from God and put our confidence in man. Confidence in the wrong person or thing can have disastrous consequences.

Do we really even know what confidence is? We think if we feel good about ourselves and how well we look, we will be confident. We talk about self-esteem, but that is the world’s idea. There is only one thing that a Christian should be confident in and that is Jesus Christ. Real confidence comes from Him and having a relationship with Him.

What is confidence? Confidence is the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something, it is firm trust; the state of feeling certain or comfortable about the truth of something. As we are raising our children, in whom or what are we teaching them to trust? Are we teaching them to trust in us, themselves, the world, our government, or the church? Are any of these really what any of us should have confidence in? By our example, what are our children being shown to have confidence in? Our children learn to trust what we trust.

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We actually know that our confidence needs to be in Christ, but are we showing that and teaching that to our children? It is so easy to instill confidence in our children that is based on the physical, such as appearance, because that is human. From the time they are born we tell them they are cute, we tell them how special they are. We spend hours in front of the mirror trying to make us appear just perfect, but only five minutes in His Word so He can perfect us. There is nothing wrong with making our outside appearance presentable, but what are we teaching our children? They think our confidence is in our appearance, and maybe they are right. No wonder children from good Christian families grow up spending more time trying to look perfect to themselves and others, than they do to Jesus Christ. Teenagers get so discouraged because they aren’t as pretty or skinny as another teen, but don’t cry over their cold heart. I believe we need to teach our children to accept how God made them and use the abilities that God gave them for Him. Our confidence doesn’t come from, nor should it be placed in ourselves or our appearance, because appearance can and does change. The only true thing we can put our confidence in is the Lord Jesus Christ, Who never changes. How can we teach our children to have confidence in God? It starts by having our confidence placed in God. Confidence in ourselves will destroy us. If we as parents don’t put all of our confidence in the Lord, how can we expect to raise children with confidence in the Lord? We wonder why so many children in Christian homes don’t know what they believe and end up following the world. One reason is because as parents we have taught them by our lives to put their confidence everywhere but where it should be. Who cares how good a child can play baseball or football, or even how cute they look as a cheerleader? Because a child can accomplish these things means very little. Too often we are instilling in our children the attitude, “Look at me, look how good I am, look at my talent, look at my looks.” How sad! The attitude should be, “Look at the Lord!” I have met teenagers who were devastated because another person failed them, they were crushed. How sad that their confidence was in a person and not in the Lord because “Jesus never fails.”

We all have confidence in something, but it is putting our confidence in the Lord that gives us victory and boldness. In whom or what are you teaching your children to put their confidence? Our confidence should only be in Jesus Christ and His Word. In Proverbs 14:26 it says, “In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.” Raising children with confidence in the Lord is primary, and confidence not placed in the Lord will be very dangerous and destructive. Our confidence needs to come from Him and be placed in Him. Raising children with confidence comes from parents who have confidence in God and in everything the Bible teaches. Godly parents believe God’s Word and follow It with confidence. Parents, how confident are you in God?

Bette Owens
Pastor’s wife
Westside Baptist Church
Pacifica, CA

EARTHQUAKE
by: Renee Chitty

An earthquake is a scary event to think about. It could start with a small tremor and escalate, or it could begin as an eight on the Richter scale. Earthquakes come without warning and can be extremely devastating, destructive, and frightening.

This is similar to the troubles and trials that come into our life. We are walking along in our Christian life, thinking everything is great, when we are blindsided by an “earthquake.” This earthquake shakes us up. We turn to the Lord in urgent prayer, while we are questioning God in our minds.  “How could this happen? I’ve given my life to serving God and working for Him. Why did He let this happen to me? Why am I going through this? Doesn’t serving Him matter? Why go on? Why not quit?” We have to fight with our flesh when these thoughts come into our minds. We tell the Lord we are giving it to Him, all the while we are still worrying ourselves to a frazzle over the problem that we face. How do I survive this earthquake and go on with my life? What’s going to happen now?

Last year, 2012, was a year filled with earthquakes for my family. A year filled with trials. I regret to admit that my flesh won out at times, and the thoughts mentioned in the paragraph above went through my mind. One of our church members went through a hard trial and they made it through. I asked them how they made it through what seemed so devastating. They said the first thing they realized was that this was exactly what God wanted whether they liked it or not. This trial will only make you a better and stronger Christian. The second thing was that they realized what it truly meant to cast all their care upon the Lord. It was like my eyes were opened at that moment. I know I have heard sermons that have said these exact things I was just being told, but I suddenly realized what it meant. Sometimes I think we get so used to hearing preaching that we don’t take time to really listen and apply it to our lives.

1. God knows what is happening in your life.

I realized God knew exactly what was happening in my life. Matthew 6:26 says, “Behold the  fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?” God takes care of the birds and makes sure they have food. If He takes such good care of the birds, then I know I can trust Him to take care of me, no matter the circumstances. Sometimes we think God sits in Heaven and is surprised or shocked when something bad happens. He isn’t! He had to let the “earthquake” happen in our life. He knew it was going to happen, so He must have a reason for it. The majority of the time we don’t know the reason, but He has one. I have had two miscarriages, at the time I didn’t understand why it happened. I have been able to talk to several people who had miscarriages and encourage them because of what I went through. I look back now and can say, “All right Lord, I think I know why you let that happen.” Remember, He sees the big picture and has a plan.

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2.  God wants you to completely trust Him.

I also realized that I hadn’t completely given everything over to Him. I prayed and said I had, but deep down I was still holding on to everything and was trying to fix it myself. I hit my knees and completely gave it to Him. The peace that God gave me was indescribable!!! I was at complete peace and knew He would take care of me, my family and everything else. It was as if a peaceful calm came over me. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all  your care upon him; for he careth for you.” So many times I believe we read this verse, but we don’t really and truly cast all our care upon Him. It is hard to completely give everything to God and trust Him to take care of it. There is that part of our flesh that still holds on and worries and tries to take care of everything on our own because we think we can somehow handle everything. Get alone with God and talk to Him and surrender everything.

3.  God wants to mold us.

We don’t always know what God’s plan is for our lives. We don’t see the big picture. He sees everything. He is the potter, and it is His job to mold us and make us into the beautiful creation that He has in mind. He knows what we need in our lives. We may not always understand why, or like the situation we are going through to become what He wants. God only wants us to completely trust in Him and depend on Him, not only in the good times, but the bad times as well. 1 Peter 5:10, “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.” Trials are to strengthen us, make us better Christians, and transform us to the Potter‘s design. This molding process can be very painful at times, but a beautiful creation can come from all the pain if we bend to the Potter’s design and plan for us.

4.  God wants to help you.

Psalm 94:17 says, “Unless the LORD had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence.”

Psalm 94:18 says, “When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O LORD, held me up.”

Lastly, I realized God wants to help me. He wants me to depend completely on Him for everything no matter how big or small. Too often as humans we think we can handle everything on our own. We go through our daily routines not thinking about the Lord or asking Him for advice or help on even the smallest decision or problem we have. He sends those “earthquakes” to shake us up so we have no other choice but to run to Him. He can help us through every problem if we will just turn to Him and completely give ourselves to Him.

So, there has been an “earthquake?” What now? How do I pick up the pieces?

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The destruction from an earthquake can be minor to completely devastating. God wants to help us clean up the aftermath as well. 1 Corinthians 15:57 says, “But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” After an earthquake we may look around and think this is so overwhelming that we ask, “How do we put everything back together?” God wants to put our lives back together. He wants us to depend on Him. It is so easy to focus on the aftermath and the destruction that has happened, and it’s so easy to become defeated and feel that all is hopeless and lost. We can become so wrapped up in self-pity that we fail to focus on the blessings God has waiting for us on the other side, and the victory He will give. I decided He knows best. He wanted this for me. I don’t know why it happened, but I am going to trust Him through everything. God’s blessings in my life are too many to count. I wouldn’t want to imagine what life would be like without Him. Stay in God’s Word and claim His promises to help you through. Pray like you have never prayed before. Stay in church. Get godly counsel from your pastor. Too many times people leave the very things that can help them the most during troubles when it’s those things we need the most. Keep serving Him no matter what. He will give you the victory!

Renee Chitty
Assistant Pastor’s Wife
Open Bible Baptist Church
Waterflow, NM

CAN YOU SMILE?
by: Sandy Domelle

Recently, while I was standing in the hallway at our church, I saw a lady who didn’t seem to be smiling. In fact, she looked a little sad. This lady was probably just having a rough day. As I stood there, a line of children came down the hallway and several of them were kids who rode the bus that morning. As the children stood there waiting to go into the auditorium, one of the girls noticed the lady. As she stared at the lady, she too noticed that she wasn’t smiling and looked a little forlorn. The little girl tapped the lady on the arm and asked her, “Can you smile?” The lady looked at her and said, “Yes, I’m not feeling very happy today.” This little girl was quite persistent in her concern. She then asked the lady if she was saved. The lady said, “Yes.” The girl then asked if she had her family at church, and the lady said, “Yes.” You could then see that the little girl’s mind was turning. She smiled up at the lady and said, “If you are going to Heaven, and you have your family in church today, you have a lot to smile about.” She then told the lady that she too was going to Heaven, but her family doesn’t come to church, and she wasn’t sure that most of them would go to Heaven.

How simple the mind of a child works. She knew if this lady had Jesus, she definitely had much to smile about. This thought has stayed with me the past few weeks. Our smile says a lot about us personally! Your smile can reflect a good day, a happy time in your life, your health, the love of Jesus and so much more. It’s so important that as we get up in the morning that we don’t just dress our body with clothes, dress our spirit with our Bible time and prayer, but that we also don’t forget to dress our face with a smile.

Have you ever sat and just watched the people around you? The fun part about watching people is that most of them don’t suspect they are being watched. We can see them do funny things and learn so much by sitting and watching. I challenge you to look around the next time you are at church. Can you pick out the happy people? There are people who never seem to have a smile. How sad it would be that you are one of those who people look at and don’t see smiling. Our pastor, Dr. Bob Gray II, is almost always smiling. He has a catchy spirit when we are around him because his smile takes over his personality. He draws people to him with his infectious personality. That’s the way each Christian should be. I want to be so aware of smiling because it’s a tool I can use to draw people to Jesus.

When I think of smiling, I think of the story of the Queen of Sheba. She came to prove Solomon with hard questions because she didn’t believe the reports of what she heard about his kingdom. After surveying his kingdom and seeing how the LORD blessed him, She said in 2 Chronicles 9:6, “…the one half of the greatness of thy wisdom was not told me: for thou exceedest the fame that I heard.” She told Solomon that what she heard was only half-truths because what she saw exceeded the reports she heard.

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Yet, there was something that caught her attention that contributed to her making the statement above. She said in 2 Chronicles 9:7, “Happy are thy men, and happy are these thy servants, which stand continually before thee, and hear thy wisdom.” Twice she mentioned the word “happy.” Apparently, the disposition of the servants had a great impact on her analysis of Solomon’s kingdom. She wouldn’t have known they were happy if they weren’t smiling. She saw the servants smiling as they were working, and it caught her attention. What if only one servant was smiling and the rest had no expression? Do you think it would have made the impact that it did? I don’t think so! Because all of his servants were smiling, it made an impact on her to think that even the servants were happy.

You may be happy on the inside, but you need to let your face express what you are feeling. People can’t see how you are feeling on the inside, so the only other way for them to see how you are feeling is through the expressions on your face. If you don’t smile, then people will think you are not happy. What if the Queen of Sheba saw you, would she think you are happy? A smile on your face will show others that serving the LORD is the best thing in all the world. Let me give you some suggestions on how to keep a smile on your face.

 1. Ask God to help you smile.

Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask, and it shall be given you;…” If you are having a problem with smiling, then you should ask God to help you to learn to smile. The Holy Spirit lives inside you, and He can help you with your smile if you will ask Him.

 2. Give yourself reminders to smile.

Often we don’t smile because we just don’t think about it. An absence of a smile isn’t always proof that we’re not happy, sometimes it’s just that we forgot to remind our face to react to what is going on inside. I am a person who will put Post-it notes in places to remind me to do something. If you are having a problem with smiling, then you could remind yourself to smile by simply writing the word “Smile” on a Post-it note and putting them in different places. Every time you see the Post-it note, then purposely put a smile on your face.

 3. Learn to laugh, and you will smile.

One way you can be sure to put a smile on your face is to laugh. Have you ever seen someone laughing who doesn’t have a smile on their face? If you will learn to laugh, then you will find having a smile is not that hard.

 4. Sing “happy songs.”

Music plays a big part in your disposition. If you are always listening to slow, sad music, then you will find it hard to smile. If you are listening to the music of the world, you will find it hard to smile. Our family likes to listen to “happy music.” We call Christian music that is upbeat and cheerful, “happy music.” Start your day off by listening to “happy music.” When you’re listening to “happy music,” then sing along with it. It will help you keep a smile on your face.

One of your desires should always be to have a smile on your face. Don’t let people look at you and wonder why you are not happy. Let your face express what is going on in your heart.