Category: Ladies Only

by: Valerie Grande

It’s a big get-together, friends or family it really doesn’t matter. People you saw just last week are mingling with people you haven’t seen since you were in high school. 

You circulate the room, giving hugs, asking how the family is doing, all the while bracing yourself for the inevitable. 

For some, they will wait a little before popping “the question”. They’ll ask how you’ve been doing, what you’ve been up to, etc. You know…the normal questions you get asked by people you haven’t seen in 4 or 5 years. 

     Others waste no time and get right to the point.
     Now, “the question,” can come in many different ways (trust me, I’ve had them all!)!
     “So, we married yet?”
     “Hey, how’s the search going?”
     “Should I be hearing wedding bells anytime soon?”
     “You meet anyone yet?”
     “Any luck on finding Mr./Mrs. Right?”

If you are like me, and the answer is a polite, “No sir/No ma’am, not yet.” You are then given the little pat on the arm, the assurance that it’s all right, and that when the time is right he/she will show up. At this point (Lord-willing), they move on to the next topic of discussion. Leaving you to say a silent prayer of thanks that you have survived yet another encounter with “the question”.

Now if you are in college or have been in your 20’s for any amount of time, this scenario is probably very familiar to you, and it probably made you laugh because you’ve had this happen to you on more than one occasion. If I had $1 dollar for every time I have been asked that question or have been told, “I have someone for you to meet,” I would probably be one of the richest girls in the world!

I graduated from college when I was 22 years old. After much prayer and seeking God’s will, I decided to move back home and work for my dad at our church. At that point, I was not dating, or talking to (whatever you want to call it), anyone seriously. In moving back home, I understood that I had two choices to make:

1. I could accept where I was in my life, that I was single with really no prospects of finding a husband at home, and run with it.
2. I could go home and spend my days waiting, worrying, and pining away for what “will be someday.”

I chose the first.

I can honestly say that I love my life and I love being single! Wow! Bet I shocked you there, didn’t I? That’s all right.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I would love to meet that special someone, get married, and have a family, but at this point in my life, it is not God’s will for me and I have accepted that. You can too. I think every single young lady and man can come to the point where they enjoy being single.

When I sat down to really think it through, enjoying the single life really boils down to one word: contentment.

The Bible says in Philippians 4:11, “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” I know God has a will and a plan for my life. If He wanted me to be married right now, I would be. But I’m not. So that means right now I’m not meant to be married. Simple as that!

We are surrounded by a society that tells us your life is pretty much “on hold” if you are single; that in order to have a completely full and happy life, you have to be married. The Bible tells me, “whatever state” I am in – single or married – I am to be “content.” If I can’t be content with where God has placed me now, doing the things that I am doing, how will I be content later on down the road when the newness of married life wears off? If I am constantly trying to change my circumstances when I don’t like them now, how will that make my future husband feel when I become discontent with the house we live in or the lives we live.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Psalm 37:4-5, “Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him: and he shall bring it to pass.” How do you get to the point of complete contentment with where you are? For me, the answers were found in these two verses right here:

1. Delight myself in the Lord. The word “delight” means “a strong feeling of happiness: great pleasure or satisfaction.” Fall in love with God! Give Him your WHOLE heart. Make Him the “Love of your life,” your best friend, and the one you give all your worries and cares too.
2. Commit my way to the Lord. The word “commit” means “to put into charge or trust: entrust”. Put your life in God’s hands. Let Him take care of it. He will do a much better job than we ever could.
3. Trust the Lord. Put your confidence in God’s ability to guide and direct your life. This one is hard. So many times we want to try and do things “our way” and to “make it happen” so to speak. The only problem with doing things our way, is that the outcome isn’t always as good as it could have been. Sometimes what we think is good, is good, but it’s not as great as what could have been. I would much rather be happily single, than married and miserable.

What I love about these verses are the promises that go with them. If I am able to delight in the Lord, give Him full control in my life, and then trust Him with it; then He promises to give to me “the desires” of my heart and that He will “bring it to pass.” I don’t know what “it” is, but if it’s coming from God, it’s got to be good!

God knows the desires of my heart, and He knows the desires of your heart. My job and your job is to be content, patient, and to put our trust in Him to know when the time is right for the next chapter of our life to begin.

So, next time you are at that big get-together and you have that encounter with “the question,” you can smile and say with a contented and peaceful heart, “No Ma’am/No sir, I’m still single…and loving it!”

Valerie Grande
Church secretary
Faith Baptist Church
Bakersfield, CA

Biblical Modesty for Trendy Today
by: Sandy Domelle

When I was a little girl, I remember often being told that I was to do right no matter if everyone else was or not. As the teen years came, my parents would often remind me to do right whether or not my friends did right. How many of us have heard that statement, “If your friends jump off a bridge, are you going to do it too?” I also remember Dr. Bob Jones Sr. was known for saying, “Do right until the stars fall.”

I believe God gave us His Word to give us daily reminders to do right. As I read my Bible, I am often reminded of areas where I’ve weakened and need to get back on track. If we believe that God teaches us something is wrong, those are areas where we have to stay strong. The Bible gives us boundaries for our lives. Just as we warn young people to stay away from sin because we see them push the boundaries or ride the fence, the same is true of us with our standards. Sometimes we can push those boundaries to the edge and what happens is we end up on the line, but our children pick up from there and push the line further.

It seems we live in years when everyone wants the easiness of life. We don’t want things to be too complicated, and that influences our standards. Many ladies learn what the Bible says about biblical modesty, but because we don’t want to work at keeping these standards in place it becomes easier to let them go. Also, preachers don’t preach as hard on standards like they use to, and when you go to a ladies conference, you don’t hear ladies teach on that topic anymore. Why? They don’t want to run people off. I do believe we need to give people time to grow in areas and learn, so I’m not against that. I often see is that ladies who used to have standards are letting them go. They find out that so-and-so’s church now wears skirts above the knee, they wear pants, they are wearing the trendier styles that, quite honestly, are often too tight, too low, and too revealing.

Now, does this mean that all trends are bad? No, and I think it is great that ladies want to look good and fashionable as long as they are staying modest. Television has so many reality shows that young people want to be the next Hollywood wives, so they mimic their lifestyles  which definitely is not the lifestyle or trends any of us really want for our children.

I’m a firm believer in the fact if something is wrong, then it’s wrong at all times. I see parents often tell their children that certain things are wrong, but in the privacy of their home they allow them to listen to music they wouldn’t in public, wear clothing that they wouldn’t wear in public and even talk in the home in ways they shouldn’t. They are pushing boundaries at home and you think no one else will know, BUT it always comes out. That’s why we don’t allow our daughter to wear pajamas that have pants or shorts. If it’s wrong to wear them in public, what makes it right in private? God still sees!

Let me give you some thoughts about biblical modesty.

First, boundaries are the border of wrong. Why would you want to wear clothing that borders on wrong? God says in 1 Thessalonians 5:22, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” Across every border is evil, so why would you dress on the border that is one step away from evil? I’m not saying that you can’t dress in a stylish manner, but what I am saying is that you should never want to dress in a manner that rides the border.

Second, modesty is the key. 1 Timothy 1:9 says, “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel…” Give every piece of clothing the three rule test. Do I have to cover up when I bend over? Do I have to pull my skirt down to keep it decent? Is it too tight? These are the rules that my daughter and I use when buying clothing.

Third, am I dressing to bring glory to God? 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” Would God be pleased with how you are dressed. Dressing right is a matter of the heart. I’m doing it to please the Lord not others. Everything we do in life as a Christians should be centered around God and what is pleasing to Him and how we represent Him!

Fourth, are you dressing to draw attention to your body. Romans 13:14 says, “But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.” You must be careful that your clothing is not filling the lusts of men. You may say that men shouldn’t look at you that way, but look what Romans 14:13 says, “Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.” You should not dress in a manner that could cause a man to lust.

Ladies, stop trying to stay up with the trends and be sure that you are dressing according to the Word of God. Likewise, be sure your daughters are dressing right as well. Let the way you dress be such that “…(which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. (1 Timothy 2:10)

by: Laurie Whitehouse

When our daughter Jessica was in junior kindergarten, she liked to wear her little girl jewelry to school–bracelets and necklaces. One day she came home from school and said with a perplexed look on her face, “Mom, Suzanna said that if I don’t give her my bracelet, she won’t be my friend.”

I said, “Jessica, you’re not allowed to give Suzanna your bracelet. Dad and I bought that for you.”

“But she won’t be my friend!”

“If she is really your friend, then she will still be your friend even if you don’t give her your bracelet. Real friends don’t ask for their friends things and then get mad when they won’t give the things to them,” I told her. She seemed to understand, and I thought we had the problem solved.

A few days later, Jessica was really frustrated after school. “Suzanna told me that if I don’t give her my cookies from lunch, she won’t be my friend.”

I realized that I needed to do more than talk to Jessica about this situation, otherwise she was going to keep having a problem. Obviously I couldn’t be there with her at school and stand up to the 5 year-old girl who was bullying her; I had to teach her how to stand up for herself.

I said, “Jessica, I am going to be Suzanna, and you are going to be you. We are going to sit here at our kitchen table and pretend that we are having lunch together. Now this is what I want you to say, when I ask you for something. Say, ‘No.’”

Jessica looked at me and said, “But, mom, then she won’t be my friend!”

“That’s okay, Jessica, because if she stops being your friend, then she wasn’t your friend in the first place. In fact, I’m going to pretend to say to you, ‘If you don’t give me your cookie, then I won’t be your friend,’ and you’re going to say, ‘Then you’re not my friend.’”

Oh boy, this was really tough for such a nice girl to do, but we sat there and practiced.

        Me: Jessica, I really like those kind of cookies that you have. Can I have one?
        Jessica: No. (She giggled as she played her role)
        Me: If you don’t give me that cookie, I won’t be your friend.
        Jessica: (She struggled to get the words firmly out of her mouth) Then…you’re not…my…friend.

I could tell it was hard for her to sound firm, so we practiced over and over until she could say those words with confidence. I had to assure her that she was not being mean to her friend; her friend was being mean to her in making demands.

My husband and I taught all of our kids to be kind to others, to make many friends, and to be friendly to everyone, but they all also had to be taught to live by principle. They had to be taught that there are character issues that they should develop, and while we wanted them to be nice, more importantly they also had to be strong, moral, and ethical.

The word “nice” is a very non-descript word that can pretty much mean whatever someone wants it to mean. When I teach English, I try to teach the students to use good descriptive words, I would often use the word “nice” as an example of a weak word. People say:

Have a nice day!
You look nice.
You’re a nice person.
This is a nice meal.

What do people really mean when they use the word nice? If a young man asks a girl to go to a banquet with him, and she spends hours getting ready, and he responds by saying, “You look nice,” she may be a little let down! In fact, she might get downright aggravated!

Niceness is a good quality if by nice we mean kind, good, or pleasant, but the word “nice” can have a weak quality to it. The word nice does not carry the meaning of strength and courage with it.

Did you know that the word “nice” is not found in the Bible one time? The Bible does give many qualities that a Christian should strive for like being good, gentle, meek, kind, temperate, etc.  These qualities tell us how our behavior should be toward others, but the Bible is also full of examples of the strength of character a Christian must have.  Several times throughout the Old Testament, God calls on the Israelites to “be strong and of good courage.” Living as a Christian in a secular world, we need to hear the voice of God telling us to “be strong and of good courage!” We need to teach our children to be strong and courageous so that others don’t mistake their “niceness” for weakness.

Even children who are growing up in Christian homes need the training from their parents that will teach them to be strong, courageous Christians amongst their Christian peers. Peer pressure in the church and the Christian school is alive and well. The Bible teaches principles from which we as parents can become more specific with our children, and our children need for us to be specific! What are some things that need to be taught to our kids?

• Kids need to be taught to say, “NO” to sin–alcohol, drugs, pornography, dirty texting, sending indecent pictures of themselves or receiving pictures like that from others.
• Kids need to be taught exactly what sexual behavior is so that they are not deceived into believing that what us older folks call “necking and petting” is biblically unacceptable and is fornication. An example we gave our kids that drives this point home is that if they were married and found out that their husband or wife was kissing (or any other sexual behavior) someone else, would they consider that behavior to be sexual? If it’s wrong to practice that behavior while married, then it’s wrong before you are married.
• The Golden Rule NEEDS to be taught to our kids: Matthew 7:12, Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: Kids need to be taught that they should treat others like they want to be treated. For some reason, many kids and adults alike have a hard time putting themselves into another person’s shoes. They never develop empathy for others, so they develop a callousness of the soul that causes them to treat people in unethical and immoral ways. Many times throughout a child’s life he should be asked, “Would you like to be treated that way?”
• Kids need to be taught not to cheat, not to steal, and they need to be taught to be responsible with money. They need to be given different scenarios so that they learn how to be ethical and responsible in society. We have often talked with our kids about what we would do if we found a wallet with money. Our kids know that the right thing to do is to take the wallet to the police department and turn it in. What should they do if they find a $20 bill by the side of the road? After looking around and making sure that the money doesn’t belong to someone within sight, they then become $20 dollars richer!

There are so many more things to be taught that young people need to know and learn. Parents need to watch for every opportunity to teach their kids to be strong, moral, ethical, and courageous Christians who are anything but weak in their everyday Christian living!

Laurie Whitehouse
Wife of Dr. Daryl Whitehouse, Dean of Students at Commonwealth Baptist College
Lexington, KY

by: Sandy Domelle

This being the month of February we all tend to focus in on the special love of our life. I love it when I see a significantly older couple walk into church hand in hand. I love seeing pictures of older couples snuggled together on a park bench or couch that have been married for many years. To me, this reminds me that we have strong marriages still in this day and age. The news media and many others want marriage to sound like a lost breed, but I still believe in marriage and still believe in marriage until death do us part.

If we are going to have marriages that last a lifetime, we have to focus in on things that help us as a wife to be what God created us to be for our husband. Here are 10 things that I try to focus on to keep my marriage strong.

1. God first, Husband second. If I concentrate on my relationship with the Lord, it’s going to keep me with a tender heart towards the needs of my husband.

2. Pray for him daily. I do pray that I will be for him what he needs me to be, but I also pray for many extra things for my husband. I pray that the Lord will keep him spiritually strong, physically strong, that he will have a good day, that the Lord will keep him safe, healthy and well. I pray that the Lord will help our marriage to stay strong and much more. I don’t flippantly pray for my husband each day, I really take time to focus in on him with the Lord because I know my hubby leads our home and needs the Lord’s wisdom and guidance for so many decisions. I often think that I pray for my husband more than any other person. There are times I go about my day talking to the Lord about my hubby because I love him, want to please him and meet his needs.

3. Care for him. I love caring for my husband. My hubby travels, and so when he’s home I want him to enjoy being home more than any other place he can be. In caring for him I make sure that when he comes home my home is clean, he has clean clothes, he has good meals and that he is taken care of in every way. If I concentrate on taking good care of him and meeting his needs, I won’t have to worry about him being loved and cared for by some other woman! When men are neglected at home, many times they seek it elsewhere.

4. Communicate. Make sure that you and your hubby are on the same page with everything. There are times when my husband will mention something and I am not thrilled with the idea. I don’t nag, but I will go back to him about the situation and talk to him about it so that I can get a better understanding of what the situation will entail. Communication is also being sure that you find time to talk to each other sometime each day. I know some of you are thinking that’s a no-brainer, but I’ve talked with ladies before that basically have someone living in their home that is called “husband,” but they can go days without having a conversation with him. How sad that is to me! My hubby and I communicate through one-on-one time together, texting, calling, email, etc. Communication definitely keeps a relationship going in the right direction. Once you pull away from your husband with communicating, other things start going wrong in the relationship.

5. There are no secrets. This is something my hubby and I started our marriage with and uphold to this day. Keeping secrets from your spouse is deceptive. Why would you want to keep something from your spouse? If you are doing everything right, then you should have nothing to hide from your husband. You and your husband should always be open with your emails and social networking accounts. My husband and I have access to each other’s accounts and we have the right to look at them any time we want. Furthermore, if you are typing an email and your spouse stops and looks at what you’re writing, don’t get upset because they have a right to see what you are doing. You must remember that God says you became one when you got married. Being one implies that you are one body. Your body can’t hide something from itself because it is always there. Likewise, you should never get upset with your spouse when they look at your emails or stop to see what you are looking at on the internet. Your marriage should be transparent to each other with nothing to hide.

6. Praise your husband. My husband works hard to provide for our family. Because he does so much for us, I often try to praise him for the things he does. Praising someone goes a long way and most will do more when they are appreciated. I promise, if I tell my hubby what a great man he is and butter him up with the praising….and a plate of chocolate chip cookies, I can get his help on anything I need. Praise your hubby for leading your home, for working hard and for helping you with the children. You can praise him in small notes, texts, or emails, but most of all verbally! Let him hear you praise him and praise him often!

7. Be Romantic. Every husband deserves to be loved and thought of by his wife in a romantic way. I’m not going to tell you what ways to be romantic, but I do believe that you should look for those special and thoughtful ways to show your love in the way God meant you to meet your husband’s needs.

8. Submit to your husband. I know this is not one of the favorite topics that ladies like to hear, but this is a command for every wife, and it’s important for the home to run smoothly. Submitting is not doing something when you want to, but it is following your husband’s leadership when you don’t want to and you have the power not to follow. As long as he is not leading you against the Word of God, you are to follow his leadership. You will find that when you submit to your husband that your children will follow you when you tell them to do something. They learn how to follow from you. Be sure to not only submit with your action, but with your attitude as well. Don’t cause grief to your husband when he decides to do something that you don’t really want to do. It’s not healthy for your marriage when you won’t submit to your husband.

9. Don’t take him for granted. One of the hardest things is to lose a loved one to death. It can come by an accident, cancer or other disease, etc. Let it never be that you take your hubby so much for granted that when he is gone you then realize what you really had. Take time each day to think about all that your hubby means to you and does for you and your children. Be thankful for him. I never know when my hubby leaves for a revival meeting if he will return. That’s not my favorite thought, but I do make sure that when he leaves, I’ve hugged him and told him I love him. I don’t want to have any regrets.

10. Be BEST friends. My hubby is my best friend. I look forward to doing things with him even if it’s just running quick errands to a night out with him. When I’m excited about something, he’s the first person I tell. I love spending time with him. Find things you enjoy doing together and be BEST friends.

Proverbs 18:22 says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” If you will take these ten things and practice them, I believe you will have a happy marriage and your hubby will believe he found a “good thing” when he got married to you.

by: Sarah Giovanelli

When I was in 8^th grade, I met the man of my dreams at teen camp. At the time I didn’t know that he was the man of my dreams. I, like most girls headed to Bible college, made a list of what I was looking for in a mate. It turned out that the man I met back in 8^th grade fit all my criteria. He was and still is my prince charming. We have been married now going on 14 years. In 2008 our home was shaken in a way we never thought possible when my husband was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder that produces cancerous tumors in both of his kidneys. Six years and four surgeries later, I have definitely not perfected the art of “helping a hurting mate” but I have certainly learned a lot. I have learned that love goes far beyond just falling in love with prince charming. Love is being there in the good times and bad. Love is giving your mate space when they need it. Love is loving them through depression. Love is being their strength when they have no more strength.

People ask me all the time how I stay strong through all the surgeries, doctor visits and health problems, and the only answer I can give is that it’s the grace of God. As a senior in high school I had to choose a life verse. I chose Psalms 27:1 thinking that it sounded good. Little did I know that verse would truly become my life verse in many ways. It says, “The Lord is my light and my salvation: whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” I wouldn’t be able to be the help my husband needs me to be if I didn’t get my strength from the Lord.

It takes time to get to know your mate after you get married. To learn their likes and dislikes, their moods and their habits. When you have a mate that develops a health problem, you have to learn them all over again. It is so important that you stay focused on their needs and their moods. I have had to learn that there are times when my husband just needs to be alone. He doesn’t need me asking him how he is feeling every five minutes. I have to read him to know when he needs rest or when he needs family time. Over the last few years my husband and I have learned to communicate without even speaking.

I have learned the importance of paying attention in doctor’s appointments. When it comes to my husband’s health, he always hears the negative and I always hear the solution. Your mate’s medical information is very important. I actually carry around a list of my husband’s medications. I ask questions when we go to doctor’s appointments. It’s important to take an active role in your mate’s health. Your mate doesn’t always know the mood swings that they have or the foods that don’t agree with them. Take notice and take notes. Listen to the doctors and don’t nag, but remind your mate of the doctor’s orders. It’s important that you don’t get upset or show frustration to your mate. They are already frustrated.

Sometimes helping a hurting mate means changing some things in your own life and schedule. Be willing to do so. For the last year, my husband has not been able to keep food of any kind down. I had to learn that not all of our dates can include food. That was hard for me because I love to eat out. I have learned to keep snacks in my purse so I don’t get hungry when we are out. His health comes before mine, but I have to stay healthy too. We have had to change our family meal time. Trust me, through all of this, I have had my moments of complaining to God and sulking, but the key is only complain to God not to your mate. God has proven time and time again that He will give the strength to endure anything. I have spent hours driving around in my car just talking out loud to God. I learned that after talking to Him a huge weight lifts off my shoulders. The Bible says in Psalms 62:8, “Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.”

The best way you can help your hurting mate is to stay close to God. Lean on Him. Let Him be your best friend. My husband and I say all the time that we wouldn’t change anything because we have been able to experience so many blessings through our trials. Someone once said that you have to go through a battle to experience a victory. Sometimes it seems that our battle with my husband’s health is never ending, but then we get a blessing and are reminded that we will see a victory. My husband read in a book that faith is not expecting God to heal you, but it is accepting that God has given you your health problem. God will never give you more than you can handle, so have the faith that if God has allowed the hurt to come then He will give you the strength to handle it and make it through.

My husband went through a brief time of depression. During that time he did not need me to quote scripture to him or preach at him. He needed to find the answers and get the peace of God on his own. He needed me to be his constant and keep his home in order, and most of all he needed my prayers and my support. Through it all we are both stronger and every day our faith grows.

If you have a hurting mate, be whatever they need you to be. Pour your heart out to the Lord. Read His Word and get strength from It. My husband and I have enjoyed the closeness that we have experienced through this and have enjoyed the time that we now get to spend together. Dwell on the positive not the negative. God will see you through. His strength is perfect when our strength is small.

Sarah Giovanelli
Pastor’s Wife
Calvary Baptist Church
Dundalk, MD

by: Sandy Domelle

Can you believe we are officially into another year? Every year I sit in disbelief that my year went by so quickly. Where did those months go? The older I get the faster the years seem to pass by. The great thing about a new year is that it’s often a time to push the reset button for many people. Some restart with weight loss, some with projects or even a restart in your Bible reading. One thing I personally try to do each year is to seize my year from the start to grow more spiritually for the Lord. I’m reminded in James 4:14, “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”

At the beginning of the year I have friends around me who choose one special word that they are going to focus on for the coming year. Sometimes it’s an area where they need to reboot themselves and sometimes it’s an area where they need to grow in more.

I’m often asked what my word is for the year. Me, I’m not a “word for the year” type of girl. I guess it’s because when I start out my day in God’s Word, He gives me a word, thought, or phrase that sticks with me throughout that very day. Because that truth sticks with me, it makes me excited for what truth I will get tomorrow. When you seize your day by asking the Lord before you start reading your Bible to give you something you need just for that day, He always provides. If you feel you aren’t getting something out of your Bible reading, ask the Holy Spirit to work in you as you read. I may be reading in a chapter that has a lot of the lineage of family names, but that’s why I don’t just read in one area of my Bible. I read my regular Bible reading for the day, but I always read a Psalm and Proverbs too. That way I have a few areas from which to glean. I ask the Lord for wisdom before I read so that I will get just what will help me that very day.

It’s no surprise as you look at the social networking realm how much you see women saving articles on how to be a better wife, how to train your children, how to be a better parent, etc. I think those are areas in which all of us want to strive to be our best. I’ve learned one thing, when I seize my year and I focus on being the best Christian, wife and mother I can be, God always gives me truths that help me grow in those areas. I love it when I’ve read something that I feel I need to focus on a little more, and then I go to church and the preacher reiterates the truth the Lord just gave me. When we ask the Holy Spirit to work, He will!

When we seize something, we capture it! Have you seized your year? Have you determined what you will accomplish spiritually for yourself and for the Lord?

How can we spiritually seize our year?

First, by realizing that a year is made up of days. Too many of us focus on the whole year and in the midst of that year, we lose sight of the importance of each day we live. Proverbs 27:1, “Boast not thyself of to morrow; for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.” So much will happen in your life this year, if we look at it as a whole it could be overwhelming. Knowing that much of it is spread throughout the year helps us keep things balanced and helps us look forward to one event at a time. To some, a year can become very long and wearisome. We have to remember to focus on what God has for today so that we don’t lose sight of our goals.

Second, we seize the year by seeing that it is made of actions. We perform actions throughout each day that affect our year. Will you be someone who loses a marriage this year because of your actions? Will you be someone who gets out of church this year because you gradually quit attending? Better yet, are you going to give up on standing strong in what you believe and drop your standards this year? Why I dress right, live right, and do the things of the Lord are all based on principles I have learned from the Bible. Daily I grow stronger in the Lord by my action of spending time with Him, but it only takes one bad day to decide you aren’t going to fight for right!

Third, we seize the year by seeing it is made up of attitudes. Psalm 118:24,“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” As a wife and mother our attitude affects the whole house. Daily we need to keep our attitude right so that we don’t destroy or defeat the spirit of those in our household. Maybe your child is struggling in a certain area and your griping and ungrateful spirit will wear on them. Then you wonder why your child has a rebellious spirit and you can’t get through to them. Pray for a good attitude towards things each day. There will be times we fail, but if we claim this daily we have more of a chance of succeeding.

Fourth, we seize the year by seeing it is made up of routines. We have routines of getting up at the same time, working, accomplishing things in our home, etc. But we also have spiritual routines that we don’t want to neglect. Attending church, going soul winning, reading our Bible, praying and spending time with the Lord, all of which are things we know we should do from God’s Word. I know some people who get behind on their Bible reading. Don’t quit reading your Bible because you get behind, pick up today where you left off and decide you will get something for today!

Fifth, we seize the year by seeing it is made up of time. Your time with your family is important. Don’t let outside things creep into your schedule and steal that one-on-one time with your spouse and your children. We can get so busy with work, social networking and hobbies that it robs our time from our family and we begin to grow apart. Likewise, don’t let outside things take you away from your time of serving the Lord.

by: Sandy Domelle

It’s that time of the year when we ladies pull out the cookie sheets and start making cookies for our family, friends and for gifting to others. Of course, every cookie we make is minus calories, but they are packed full of love. Around our house we have several different types of sweets that we make for the holidays.

I have tupperware containers that are filled with fudge, peanut butter balls, breads and sugar cookies. My daughter and I work together on making several types of cookies for the whole family. Then we normally make enough to share with those around us.

When I think of cookies, let me single out the sugar cookie and how I think Christians resemble it. Sugar cookies come in all shapes and sizes, and so do Christians. With it being cookie season, let me apply this cookie to your Christian life.

First, you make the cookie. You can have all the cookie cutters you want, but the reason you have them is to make cookies. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.” You will never be the “cookie” God wants you to be without spending time in God’s Word getting the ingredients you need to be the Christian God wants you to be. A Christian who doesn’t spend time in God’s Word is a Christian who will not have the ingredients they need to make it through life as the Christian God wants them to be.

Second, there are cookies with no frosting. Frosting makes the cookie palatable for those who are eating them. Cookies without frosting are pretty bland. Ephesians 4:7 says, “But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of Christ.” God wants Christians to have some frosting on them. Grace is to the Christian what frosting is to the cookie. A Christian with no grace is a Christian that is hard to follow. You need to be sure to be gracious in your actions. Let your life have some frosting on it.

Third, unfortunately there are times when the cookies get burnt on the bottom. Are you burning your relationships because of anger? Psalm 37:8 says, “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.” Ladies, you must be careful during the Christmas season that you don’t get so wrapped up in cooking and wrapping presents that you get angry at your children or husband when they come around. I know, we can get frazzled with all the responsibilities and extra commitments that we have, but it’s not worth burning our relationships.

Fourth, when making cookies, we make them into all shapes. One of the shapes is a snowman. There is nothing like seeing the snow right after it falls. It is so beautiful and white. Isaiah 1:18 says, “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” The snowman makes me think of how white snow is and how God is willing to forgive us. Are you willing to forgive others. Don’t be someone who holds grudges against others. It doesn’t help anyone. The one who is hurt the most by holding grudges is you. Let the snowman cookie remind you to forgive others when they do you wrong.

Fifth, the Christmas tree cookie reminds me of growth. 1 Peter 2:2 says, “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:” You need to be sure that you are constantly growing in every area of your life. Are you growing in the area of being a wife? Are you becoming a better parent to your children? Are you becoming a better Christian? Every time you look at the Christmas tree cookie it should remind you to grow in every area of your life.

Sixth, the star cookie reminds me of soul winning. Daniel 12:3 says, “And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever.” Be careful that you don’t get so busy with Christmas that you forget to tell people about Jesus Christ. Yes, it may be cold outside, but people still need to get saved. You need to let the Christmas season be one during which you turn many to righteousness.

It’s cookie season! When you start making all the cookies for your family, look at them and let them remind you to improve yourself as a Christian. Let each cookie remind you of an area in your life that you can work on that day.

by: Sherry Mann

I love to grow things, especially flowers. They are so beautiful, and they make the landscape look so much better. I grew up being taught how to grow quite a variety of things by my parents and grandparents. It’s become a way of life, and believe it or not, it gives me relaxation and enjoyment.

First, I’d like to talk about actual blooming plants or flowers, and the essentials of growing them. The basic things that you might already know.

Second I’d like to relate flowers to us ladies, and the essentials of keeping our physical bloom healthy and radiant.

Third and last I want to use this metaphor and give it a spiritual application and end with that.

First, blooming flowers need six things: 

1. Soil, “good ole dirt,” every plant needs some dirt to put their feet into.

2. Sun, all plants need some sun. Some require less sun than others.

3. Water, another basic necessity.

4. Nutrients, all plants need to be fed.

5. Pruning, most plants must be pruned or they will go back to being wild.

6. Reproducing, all plants reproduce themselves, God created them that way. If they didn’t, they would cease to be.

Second, our physical bloom also needs:

1. To get planted, everyone needs their own spot, a place to call home.

2. The sun, it brightens the mood. Doctors say about 20 minutes a day in the sun will give us the needed amount of vitamin D.

3. Water, you can live without food longer than you can live without water; 6-8 glasses a day is recommended to hydrate you and all your vital organs, including your skin. Doctors say many people today go around dehydrated and don’t even know it.

4. Nutrients, a healthy lifestyle of diet and exercise is definitely better than the alternative. So, in with the good, and out with the bad if you want to stay healthy.

5. Pruning, you know like hair, fingernails, and exfoliate the skin. This will keep our physical bloom in the best condition.

6. Reproducing, God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the Earth. I thank God for our three beautiful daughters, son-in-laws and 11 precious grandchildren.

Third, what our spiritual bloom must have:

1. Our spiritual bloom needs to get planted. Everyone needs to have a good church in which to serve the Lord, “A place to call home.” Everyone needs a place to come together with other Christians to learn, grow, and learn how to be a help and a blessing to others. Without regular church attendance our spiritual bloom will not be the best that it can be. (Hebrews 13:5)

2. The Son. Without the Son, we don’t have life. Jesus says in 1 John 5:12, “I am sent that ye might have life…” 1 Timothy 1:15 says, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners…” Maybe you or someone you know doesn’t have a kinship with Christ. The Bible says you are not alive, but dead in your trespasses and sins. But, the Son wants to shine on you. Our only hope of eternal life is by faith to trust in Him and what He did for us on the cross. Our spiritual flower cannot live without the Son!

3. Water, the Living Water, a well spring of life. The Holy Spirit living and working in us. John 4:14 tells us to yielding ourselves to His will. We will have true happiness, joy, and peace only by being yielded to our heavenly Father’s will. Ephesians 5:18 says, “Be filled with the Spirit:” We must have that living water.

4. Nutrients, a daily dose of our spiritual food in the Bible. Someone once said, “One week without the Bible will make one weak.” It’s true your spiritual bloom will be weak without the right nutrients. The Bible is like Miracle Grow, it will make you bloom abundantly. 2 Peter 3:18 says, “But grow in the grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.”

5. Pruned, pruning can be painful! But, it’s oh so necessary. Just like a fruit tree that isn’t pruned or cut back every so often will not bear good fruit, we also cannot bear good fruit without being pruned. So, we must allow the pruning to take place in our life. Don’t let yourself get discouraged when God brings out the pruning shears, realize in the end you will be more fruitful.

6. Reproduce in others, there are people all over this land that need help. They need help in finding the Lord, help with the everyday problems that they face. They need spiritual help through our prayers and acts of kindness. Let God work through you to make a difference in someone’s life.

Reproduce in your children. In the Bible, Timothy is a good example of the parent and grandparent, Eunice and Lois, reproducing a spiritual life in young Timothy. (2 Timothy 1:5, 3:14-15) There’s a saying that goes, “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.” We mothers really do have a lot influence, probably more than we realize. In Ezekiel 16:44 the Bible tells us, “As is the mother, so is her daughter.” Timothy’s life was greatly influenced by his mother and grandmother and he continued on in the things that he learned in his youth. Let us be encouraged by this example and continue to reproduce ourselves spiritually in the lives of our children and those around us.

Sherry Mann
Evangelist’s Wife
Longview, TX

by: Sandy Domelle

When God sent His only Son to this world so that we could be saved, He gave us His most precious gift. We are saved because of this sacrificial gift. When Jesus was on the Earth, every thing He did was about others. Every story you read and every thought you glean is all about the people. He was there to save and change lives. What a selfless act of love!

Probably the best verse that wraps up the life of Jesus is Acts 10:38 where it says, “How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.” Jesus spent His whole life doing what He could to help people. Whether it was through healing people, teaching them or showing them how to be saved, Jesus spent His life helping people.

We as Christians should follow the example that God gave us through His Son and through His Word. Will we be perfect? Absolutely not! But He lived His life in such a manner that we should daily try to become more like Him in every way.

Do you know that every one of us has it in us to be a selfish uncaring soul? We get up in the morning and plan our day, but when things come up that change our plans, people call and need things of us and they don’t fit that schedule, or our world gets turned upside down, our selfishness becomes a side of us that others do not need to see.

We have to remember that we were created to help others. We help others through telling them how they can go to Heaven. We help others by teaching, training and pointing them to Him. How sad it is in life that we’ve become so extremely busy people that we are too busy to help others. We can get so consumed about the drama in our life that we forget about others around us.

Unfortunately, we are seeing a generation come up that their life is so busy that they want to make church time as short as possible and as convenient as possible. So if working on a bus route, teaching a Sunday school or junior church doesn’t fit into your “hurry to church to be there 5 minutes after it starts, and you are the first one out the door” then it’s not convenient. Some won’t come out for special meetings. Others won’t volunteer to help with anything that would require any other time slot other than Wednesday night church or the Sunday morning or night service. We don’t want to give more than the actual service times. We are just too busy!

What is sad about that philosophy is that we no longer leave time for God to work in our lives, to use us to help others, to allow us to be a blessing or encouragement to someone who is struggling.

When your time of need comes, you want everyone to drop everything and come to help and be a blessing to you, but how can you expect that of them when you have little time for them or the Lord?

We need to remember that the reason we do what we do is because of people. We serve at church to help people. The reason we go soul winning is because of people. There’s nothing more exciting than giving our time to win someone to the Lord, but also to continue to pour our time and efforts to get them to church and continue to grow in the Lord.

The bus ministry is a good example of helping others. Over the years I have seen young couples get involved and love the people so much that they get their children involved and it becomes a family ministry of service. Years later, after the kids have grown and left home you still see the parents working the bus route and loving the people. Why? Because they found an area of serving the Lord that involved people to whom they truly have given their hearts.

Sunday school and junior church can be areas of service to help others. I love seeing a teacher who gives their heart completely to their students. I can tell you of Sunday school teachers I had as a child or teenager that you could truly see the love of the Lord in them. You could tell they were there for their students. They are the teachers who visit their students, make class exciting and send notes in the mail when they have missed. What type of teacher are you? Do you put your whole self into them so that they truly know you care?

Missionaries go because of the people. If you live like the people and among the people, you will reach the people. That was my dad’s motto when my family went to the Philippines to be missionaries. We didn’t live above the people, but we lived in the same manner in which they lived. We didn’t live away from them, but we lived among them so that we could reach them. The whole reason we left America for the Philippines was because of the people. We wrapped our lives around the people, and that allowed us to reach them.

A successful marriage will only be one where each spouse lives their life for their spouse. We should keep ourselves for only them. Of course, God should be first in our lives, but your spouse should be the second one in your life whom you wrap your life around. The most successful marriages are the one’s that each spouse becomes selfless and lives for the other.

Parents should live to build their relationship to help their children. Don’t make your relationship with your children all about you. Get interested in what they do. Find their interests and do it with them. Have them help you with what you do in your chores and hobbies. If a parent will involve themselves in the life of their child, then they will most likely be able to have the heart of their child.

When we get our focus off the people, we focus in on the things of the world, what they say, what they do and allow the Devil to make us think we are missing out on things, and that we need more things. This type of self-centered life will only produce unhappiness. When your whole life is about you, it doesn’t matter what others do, you will find it will never be good enough.

When our heart is into something, we tend to give it our all. Some people start off great, but along the way they lose that love and passion. Why? Because they got they’re eyes off the focus that it is about people. Knowing that you are doing what you do to make a difference in lives is what will keep you going for many years. This is what will keep that passion alive. This is where true joy in life is found. Make your life one that it could be said about you that you went about doing good.

by: Kelli Campbell

“Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also:  knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed: because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”  Romans 5:1-5

TRIBULATION

“But we glory in tribulations also.”

The worst tribulation in our lives began on February 17, 2010. My husband, Kerby, went in for a routine knee surgery that changed our lives forever. The anesthesiologist who gave him a spinal epidural to numb him from the waist down, missed his epidural space and went all the way into his spinal column. She punctured him 6 times. We have found out since that the limit is 2. The numbing medicine was put into his spinal fluid which caused his nerves to clump together. A doctor’s negligence caused Kerby to have a life altering, incurable disease called Arachnoiditis. It causes him to have indescribable, excruciating, electrical, burning pain, all day, every day. It is horrible to have to watch the love of your life suffer every single day knowing there is nothing you can do to help, fix or change it…forever. Forever is such a long time. There is no end. That means as long as we live my husband will be in horrific pain and I will have to watch.

The Bible says, in Romans 5, that we are to glory in tribulation. I did not truly understand this until this trial came into our lives. I really hate Arachnoiditis, but I would not trade it for anything in the world. God has shown Himself trustworthy in so many, many ways. We would have never learned the things that we have learned had we not had this opportunity to suffer. I want the pain to go away today, but I want to keep the closeness, the trust and the peace I have found in my wonderful Lord.

God has a plan and purpose for every thing that He allows to come into our lives. We do not have to like it or agree with it or even understand it, but we are to make Jesus look good even when our lives and dreams are shattered. With time, we can learn to glory in tribulations.

PATIENCE

The Bible, also, says that “tribulation worketh patience.” The Strong’s Concordance says that patience is “stedfastness, constancy, endurance; a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and sufferings.” The web dictionary defines patience as “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” I always thought that patience was just waiting, but it is so much more.

Tribulation is hard, but having patience is harder. How do you accept a lifetime of pain? How do you not get angry or upset at a doctor who caused all of this? How do you keep your faith knowing that God allowed all of this pain and suffering to come into our lives? How do you not get upset when you have to watch your husband suffer? How can you keep going when all of your dreams are shattered into pieces?

The answer does not come easily. It is one day and one step at a time. When this first happened, we did not know what was happening. Kerby was lying on the couch, screaming in pain! I thought he was going to die. I was terrified! It took months for us to get a diagnosis, but even having a diagnosis did not change anything. In the beginning, I really had to fight my anger at the doctor. What happened should never have happened! I decided I would not waste my energy thinking about her. I had too many things that needed my attention. Giving her my thought life would not change anything. It would only hurt me. I did not want to add bitterness to my trial. I let it go and forgave her. It took some time, but now I can think about our situation with peace knowing God has a purpose for it all.

Obviously, God allowed this in our lives. It is my job to let it refine me. I could easily have gotten bitter at the doctor for causing it and at God for allowing it. None of us will get through this life without some kind of tribulation. If I get bitter, I have just taught my children that the God I serve is not trustworthy. My God is trustworthy, so I have to live in a way that shows how great my Lord really is in spite of my circumstances.

EXPERIENCE

“And patience, experience.”

Experience…we all want to have experience, but not in tribulations. My tribulation experience now reads like a resume:

I know what it is like to watch my husband suffer in pain every day.

I know what it feels like to hear the word “incurable.”

I know what it is like to have all of your dreams shattered.

I know what it is like to have no hope outside of the Lord.

I know what it is like to lose everything through no fault of our own.

I know what it is like to lose everything financially.

I know what it feels like to hear, “I am sorry there is nothing we can do.”

I understand, “spent all that she had and was nothing bettered.”

I know what it is like to live by faith.

I know what it is like to lose friends because they do not know what to say to you.

I know what it is like to feel your life and purpose are a big question mark.

I know what is like to be angry and learn to forgive.

I know what it is like to have no answers.

Just to name a few.

When others come to me or call me with their tribulation, I have a better understanding and compassion for what they are going through because I have experience; experience in tribulations. When your life and dreams have been shattered, you can understand someone else’s brokenness in a way someone who has not suffered loss cannot.

I have not experienced it all (begging God that I do not) and I absolutely do not know it all, but I do not have to. I have not done everything right either. I have had bad days. Days when all I want to do is hide and cry.

Most importantly, I know what it is like to have experienced hope.

HOPE

“And experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed: because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.”

I do have hope! My hope is in no other but the Lord Jesus Christ. Not only do I have hope and faith in my salvation, but I have hope and believe with all of my heart that God is going to heal my husband. I wonder sometimes if God laughs when a doctor pronounces someone to be “incurable.” I do not know how or when He is going to heal him, but I have hope that He will! I know some people, Christians included, act like I am crazy and respond in disbelief when I tell them I believe that God is going to heal Kerby. That is okay. How many people do not believe a doctor’s diagnosis of “incurable?” I have hope of God’s healing and I am not ashamed of it!

Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.” I understand this verse. I have begged God to heal Kerby. For almost four years I have begged Him for healing in every way I know how. When healing does not come, it hurts and we do not understand why a loving God Who promises to answer our prayers makes us wait. I do not like the waiting, but if God answered every prayer right away we would never learn experience, patience and hope. I have learned that the waiting times should be turned into learning times. What does God want me to learn from my tribulation? I want to learn and grow in my walk with the Lord. When God does answer, it will be a tree of life…new dreams, new hopes and rejoicing in a loving God Who does hear and answer our prayers…in His time.

Tribulation is difficult and life changing. I want to keep the things I have learned and tell everyone how good God is! He will strengthen us, grow us, take care of us, take our brokenness and make us into something He can use.

Tribulation, patience, experience and hope.

Kelli Campbell
http://www.treasuredtrials.com