Category: Ladies Only

by: Sandy Domelle

Psalm 19:14 says, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.” If you did a word study about the heart and your words, you will find that they go hand in hand throughout many verses in the Bible. Why? Because our words affect our heart.

Our heart is a very important organ in our body. When our heart isn’t physically well it becomes weak. Many of you know someone who has had heart surgery and seen how weak they can be. Their heart and body become fragile for a while until they regain strength. Do you know that our heart can also become spiritually weak? When we are spiritually weak, we become fragile.

Just as important as it is for us to do things for our heart to stay physically healthy and well, we have to do things spiritually to keep our heart well. We have to protect our spirit, make sure we are spending time in prayer and reading our Bible, and we need to get preaching. All of these things, plus much more, keeps our hearts right with the Lord.

The condition of our heart either keeps us close to the Lord or pushes us away from Him. That’s why it is so important that we strive daily to spiritually have a healthy heart. When our heart is right with God, we are willing to give him everything and anything.

If you stop and think of your heart right this very minute, is it willing to give God anything? Are you willing to give God your children? What if God wants them to serve Him on the opposite side of the world, in the most remote area and you don’t get to see them but when they take furlough?

Are you willing to give up your desires for what God wants your husband to do? What if God wants your husband to step up and do more? Too many women hold their husband’s back from serving the Lord. You can’t figure out why you’re not happy in life, but it’s because you won’t yield your desires for God’s.

How about your dress standards? When we balk at dressing modestly or not wearing pants, “that which pertaineth to a man,” we are hurting our dear Saviour. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

How about giving your complete all to the Lord? Are you hindering yourself from God using YOU? Maybe if you gave up something, or committed yourself to certain things, your preacher could use you more in the church. Is there anything in your life that is hindering you from doing more for the Lord?

When our heart is right with God, we are willing to give him everything and anything!

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” God tells us to keep our heart “with all diligence.” “Diligence” means, “careful and persistent work or effort.” That’s a powerful verse and God knows that the Devil will do all he can to get our heart and mold it to what he prefers.

That’s why God says the same exact thing in 2 verses in the Bible. Matthew 6:21 and Luke 12:34 say, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” The Devil knows that where you put your money, time and children, is where he can wrap your heart into.

Matthew 6:19-20 says, “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:” In these verses we see that we’re not to lay up treasures here on Earth, but we’re to lay up treasures in Heaven.

If we are focused on our earthly possessions, a well-paying job, great clothes, a large home or great car, then we are focused too much on the earthly possessions and not on treasures for Heaven.

Women live by sight, so this is an area where we struggle. Lamentations 3:51 says, “Mine eye affecteth mine heart because of all the daughters of my city.” Think about how much time we put into looking good. Think about all the money that is made off women through plastic surgery, weight loss companies, tanning salons, hair salons, cosmetics, pedicures, manicures, clothing, and on the list could go. We can also look at the importance that women put on their homes with the size of the house and decorations. Is there anything wrong with looking our best or having a nice house? No! But, we can’t get so consumed in earthly things or possessions that we are more concerned about our treasures on earth than the treasures we storing up in Heaven.

As a Christian, I want my heart to be buried in the things of the Lord. If I bury my heart into serving the Lord, that’s where I’ll be putting my money/treasure. God mentions many verses on the type of heart we should have.

Clean Heart – Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. We get a clean heart by spending time in God’s Word and prayer. Asking God to forgive our sins, asking Him to create a clean heart in us.”

Fixed Heart – Psalm 57:7, “My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise.” I want my heart fixed on Him so that I don’t stray to the world. The world has a strong pull for our young people, but also for older adults. As parents or leaders, if we don’t have a fixed heart that is grounded, we won’t pull our children and those under us towards the Lord. Your heart will have become so lukewarm because of worldly things that you don’t care if your children serve the Lord as long as they go to church. Do you realize that if your children grow up to “just” go to church and not serve the Lord that your grandchildren most likely won’t end up in church? Get your heart fixed on God.

Merry Heart – Proverbs 15:13, “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” A happy person is the one you want to be around. Look at yourself, are you happy by nature? Do people see your happy side? Some people think they are happy, but they never show it! Smile, be happy and be the one who encourages others.

Wise Heart – Proverbs 16:23, “The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.” A wise heart comes from studying your Bible. Know why you believe what you believe. Teach your children by giving the Scriptures as to why we don’t do things, don’t just tell them we don’t do certain things and expect them to understand.

Understanding Heart – 1 Kings 3:9, “Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?” I’ve learned that an understanding heart has to be a heart that is in tune with the Lord. Reading God’s Word gives me understanding, but I have to ask for it too.

Tender Heart – Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” A tender heart helps us to forgive. If we aren’t forgiving, we often become bitter, bitter with people and God. Pray daily to have a tender heart.

Church is very important. We need to be in church on Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night because we go in for a heart check up. God works on our heart through the preaching so we can fix the issues that are at risk. Our heart condition can only be seen and repaired by the Great Physician. If it’s not dealt with, it can end up in a spiritual death.

Matthew 15:8 says, “This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.” How is your heart condition? Is your heart far from Him? Are you dying spiritually?

Joshua 22:5 says, “But take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law, which Moses the servant of the Lord charged you, to love the Lord your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

by: Jessi Cormier

Proverbs 29:15, “…a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

As I crazily rush through my chores, I hear…

“Mom, would you throw a football in the yard with me?”

“Mom, will you work a puzzle with me?”

“Mom, will you come look at my rock collection?”

“Mom, can we read another chapter of Heidi together?”

I’m practicing the recorder, trying to make those dots and counts on paper make sense in my mind when my almost 9-year-old bursts into the room excited to play the recorder with me. So much for that much-needed practice time on my own. He needs interaction even while practicing his instrument.

I am frantically trying to prepare supper, and something for the morrow’s breakfast at the same time, and the dogs’ rice on the back burner, and wash dishes when my little daughter grabs her apron and begs for the opportunity to “be a chef like you, Mom.” I stifle a groan knowing the process is going to take me twice as long.

I go outside to water my garden. “Mom, can I help you water those plants?” Sigh. I know the way she waters means more bucket trips to the faucet for me. But my heart melts, and how can I say no? Kids long for that special time with mom and dad. They need attention. They need me day in and day out. Everyone needs me, it seems. How do I divide my time?

As a mom, how do you know when to say, “Yes,” and when it is okay to say, “No, not right now.”? As mothers, many times we struggle with priorities, and we struggle with guilt. I used to torture myself with questions. Am I giving them enough of my time? Am I showing them I love them? Am I influencing them enough for God? Is my life the right kind of example to them? I worried that saying, “No,” when they wanted my time would ruin everything.

Sometimes it is possible to stop what you are doing and push that job back to the next day. But sometimes it is not possible. That ladies devotion has to get done today. The house has to be cleaned before company arrives. I simply can’t stop stirring this pot on the stove, etc.

God has been teaching me something lately in this area of mothering, something that has really encouraged my heart. There are times when I will have to say, “No.” Sometimes I simply can’t make it happen that day. Sometimes something else has to take priority.

I’ve noticed that a couple of days later when I’m out in the yard with my son poorly attempting to throw a football to him, (my throws do not sail smoothly, by the way. They flip end over end through the air until the ball finally gives up trying and thuds miserably to the ground), I notice he doesn’t even remember that other time when I said, “No.” He’s so caught up in the joy of the moment that all I hear is, “Mom, this is so much fun! I love playing ball with you!” (By the way, it is not the quality of my throws or how well I can catch. It is the fact that my son’s love language is quality time.)

I’ve come to learn that as a mother, I am weaving the entire tapestry of their childhood. Therefore, it is not about how well I perform in a single day, but what they will remember when they look back on their lives after 18-20 years. At that time, it will be the bigger picture that they see.  Oh, they may remember a single memory here and there, good or bad, which means, of course, that each memory is still important. But, as long as I consistently try to make time for my children when I can, they will remember those memorable times, and those times will overshadow the times when my answer had to be “No” or “Maybe later.”

Susannah Wesley gave each of her children one hour a week. I am sure she would have loved to give them more, but she probably did not have more time to give. She gave them what she could.

I am learning to look at the bigger picture instead of the day in and day out. It is not about one single “x” on my cross-stitch, it’s about what the finished picture of their childhood will look like.

When I look back on my own childhood, of course, I see little imperfections. I do have memories of times when my parents failed. Failing is inevitable because we are human, and we make mistakes. However, the whole overall picture of my childhood is beautiful, and it was the whole picture that influenced my life.

Moms, let’s quit beating ourselves up. Let’s stop worrying about each and every day. Yes, let’s make conscious decisions to spend quality time with our children when we can, but when we can’t let’s remember that it’s the bigger picture–the whole tapestry–that will matter in the long run, and here a little, there a little all eventually comes together to make the whole.

Jessi Cormier
Missionary Wife

by: Sandy Domelle

When you think about the Christian life, there are many keys that can help change and guide us through life. When I look at my key ring, on it I have many keys. The key ring represents you and your Christian life. On my key ring, I have many keys that open many doors just as there are also many keys that we need in our Christian life.

I have a key to my house, car, post office, church nursery, etc. All of these are necessary keys. I have one key that is a master key to the bedrooms. It will unlock any of the doors if they get locked and pulled shut. In the Christian life, there is a master key; it’s salvation. Once we have the master key of salvation, we will obtain many new keys that unlock things in our Christian life that will help us to grow.

When we get saved, we should want to change and grow to be more of what God created us to be. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

When we move into a new house, we usually get rid of the keys to the old house because we don’t have a need for them. The new Christian shouldn’t need the keys of their old lifestyle; they look for the new keys that open new doors. The Devil doesn’t want us to obtain these new keys, so he offers brighter and prettier keys at times to get our attention off the keys that we need. Maybe it’s a shiny key of a new job that pays well, but will keep you out of church.

Do you know that the Devil also provides keys that he doesn’t always tell you what they will lead to? Those keys lead to doubt, fear, loneliness, discouragement, negativity, depression, worldliness, etc. When you unlock those doors, they will draw you into thinking only of yourself. They will keep you so focused on your personal problems that you won’t be seeking the keys in your Christian life to help you, encourage you and make you excited about serving the Lord.

One of the keys that I love in the Christian life is desire. Desire is a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. I desire greatly to have God in my life, and I want to see things happen in my life that matter to Him. But, I do know that many people have lost their passion, zeal and ultimately their desire to live for Him.

When I say desire, most of you think of “things” that you desire to have. Maybe it’s a new house, new car, new job, new toys for recreation, or a Hawaiian trip. Those are things that benefit us physically and emotionally, but not spiritually.

Do you know how many good Christians have lost their desire? When someone loses their desire, it’s usually due to bad circumstances or by being defeated by the Devil. When we lose something, it doesn’t mean that we can’t find it again. For some Christians the trials of life come, hardships come, death comes, loss of job, financial problems come, things that weigh heavy on us and through these circumstances we lose our desire and we just want to maintain. Once the maintaining hits, many times you quit doing the things you’ve done, and you lose the desire of serving the Lord that you once had.

Let me give you four areas of desire that we should work on.

1. Love the Lord. Do you wake up in the morning and start your day with Him because your love for Him motivates you throughout the day? Does your love for the Lord show through you, and do people know that you love the Lord? There should be something very different about you because you are full of His love and your desire to please Him pushes you.

2. Seek the Lord. Do you spend time in God’s Word daily? Somewhere in your day you need to find time to read your Bible and talk to the Lord. Your desire to love Him and be a good Christian comes from communicating with Him. If you aren’t daily thinking of the Lord and spending time with Him, your desire to be like Him won’t be as strong. The more focused you are on something, the more it demands your attention.

3. Seek His truth. As you seek the Lord, do you seek His truth? If you seek truth, you will know why you believe what you do because it’s in you. You won’t question authority; you won’t let the world’s philosophy pull you. You will not be easily swayed. My God is not an opportunist. He doesn’t give me truth in the Bible for me to use when I want to or when it works best for me. His Word shows me the way I need to live, and if you live a life of principle, truth comes easy. Those who usually buck the truths that come from God’s Word usually buck authority. If you truly desire to be what you should be, seek truth as you seek the Lord.

4. Serve the Lord. There is no greater opportunity to be what we should be in the Christian life than to serve the Lord. Serving the Lord can be teaching a Sunday school class, working a bus route, cleaning the church, etc. These are all things you do at church. But you can serve Him daily by telling others about Him, by encouraging others who are struggling, or by praying and loving others.

Too many Christians get in the “maintaining” mode, and they sit on the sidelines at church. Maybe it’s time for some of you to ask your preacher what you can do to help at church. Maybe you can teach Sunday school, be a greeter as the people come in, or maybe you can work a nursery. Preachers are always looking for people to help. It makes it easier for him when he has volunteers.

A great way to serve the Lord is to show up for soul winning. Every soul winner is needed, and being used to win someone to the Lord is one of greatest rewards in serving the Lord.

Where is your desire today? Is it on the things of the world? Is it focused on “things” you really want, or is it on Jesus?

by: Valerie Grande

Luke 15:11-13, “And he said, a certain man had two sons: and the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living. And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country…”

I absolutely love road trips! There is nothing better than getting behind the wheel of a car – Starbucks and GPS in hand (you don’t want to get lost) – and just driving…and driving…and driving.

A man once said, “When all is said and done, all roads lead to the same end. So it’s not so much which road you take, as how you take it.” There is even a movie and a song entitled “All Roads Lead Home.” While that is an encouraging and inspiring thought, it is not altogether true. Not any road I get on will take me home.

About a year ago, I made a 6-hour drive to visit a friend out of state. While, on that drive, I took extra care to make sure I took the right exits and merged onto the correct freeways; otherwise, instead of ending up in Evansville, Indiana, I would have found myself in Illinois or Kentucky. Of course, I had the option of taking any way I chose but had I done that the road would not have led me “home.”

As young adults, it is easy to think that no matter what choices we make, in the end, we will always end up “home” in God’s will. We don’t need the advice and counsel of those who have traveled before us. We don’t need a GPS (The Bible) to guide us; to tell us when we need to “recalculate.” We think we have this whole life thing figured out. That, “I’m going to do this my way, because ‘Hey! All roads lead home.’” doesn’t work. This is not how God intended it to be. We ALL need direction as to which “roads” to take.

Because of my love for driving, I love pictures of roads. My favorites are the country roads that wind and curve. While I do NOT like to be the passenger, I think they make the best pictures. The following are three practical road facts that can be applied to the life choices we make.

1. Roads are one-directional. If I am driving on a freeway or even a one-way street, I cannot just stop, turn my car around, and start driving in the opposite direction. Nor can I decide to do some “off-roading” because I am tired of going straight. I can’t do that. Well, maybe I could, but I would probably cause an accident or ruin whatever vehicle it is that I’m driving. I would most definitely get a ticket.

The same concept goes with the choices we make. They are one-directional. Good or bad, right or wrong, I can’t have both. I have to pick one. Whichever I choose, I am now committed to it and the outcome it produces. Because of this, I had better choose carefully; otherwise, I run the risk of “causing an accident” by hurting myself and the people around me. While I may not get a “ticket,” the events that take place will be with me and will mark me for the rest of my life.

2. Roads have a speed limit. Everywhere we go we are told how fast or how slow to go. While all of us, myself included, don’t always abide by these limits and maybe tend to stretch them just a bit, they are still there…every 5 to 10 miles or so – staring us in the face. So, when we get pulled over, we have no excuse. We knew the truth, yet we chose to ignore it.

God gives us limits in our life. Starting from the beginning with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, God put a “speed limit” in their life. Genesis 2:16-17 says, “And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it…” God told Adam and Eve that they could eat whatever they wanted, so long as it was not from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. What did they do? They ate of it.

God also gives us limits and boundaries in the Bible. They aren’t written in some secret code but are written in a way that anyone can understand them. It’s like my dad always says, “Put the peanut butter on the bottom shelf where everyone can get it.” Just follow the directions, read the road signs, or for the sake of my point, watch your speed.

As young adults, we sometimes choose to ignore the speed limit. “I know how fast I can go.” “I know when to slow down and proceed with caution.” “It’s my life…I’ll do what I want with it.” Sure, life is good; smooth sailing. Open roads for as far as the eye can see, and then out of nowhere (and they always come out of nowhere) when we least expect it, you hear sirens, look in your rearview mirror, and you’re caught. Let’s follow the speed limit while we still have the potential of a wonderful, “ticketless” Christian life.

3. Roads have a destination. The road you’re taking is going to lead you somewhere. Whether or not it takes you to where you want to end up is entirely up to you. The outcome of your trip is determined by the roads/choices you make. Strive to make wise choices by seeking God’s will through wise counsel, prayer and God’s Word. Psalm 37:23-24 says, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.”

We began with the story of the prodigal son. He chose to take his inheritance and “hit the road”. Sadly, the road he took ended with him alone, in utter poverty, and away from his father – out of God’s will. I’m sure there were “exits” he could have taken, “detours” and even a few spots where he could have made a U-turn. Yet, he chose not too, and, in the end, we find him eating and living in a pigsty.

My favorite part of this story is when he comes to his senses and remembers that he has a place to where he can go home. I imagine him cleaning himself up, maybe scrounging up a few coins to take a decent bath and make himself look presentable…he’s going home. I imagine him going to where he hid his few possessions. Perhaps he had put them out of sight because he did not want to be reminded of the failures and mistakes he made. I then imagine him digging around until he finds what he’s looking for…his roadmap home. He doesn’t look at it because he’s forgotten the road home (I think he always knew where it was). He looks for it because he needs the assurance that it is there. He does have that option. He can go home! I’m sure the moment his feet touched the road, he was filled with the happiness that only comes when you are going back to where you belong. Going home!

While I love to travel and go to new places, there is nothing that brings more joy to my heart than when I get on the road that leads home. Let me encourage you to always strive to make the right choices. There will be traffic, there will be alluring attractions on the way, and you may even need to “recalculate” a few times, but as long as you’re following your GPS (the Bible) it will be okay.

Turn on your GPS, punch in your destination – God’s will – and follow the directions all the way to the end. At the end of the day, there is absolutely no better feeling than knowing that you are right where you are supposed to be…home in God’s will.

Valerie Grande
Church Secretary
Stockton, MO

by: Julie Dominguez

My husband and I have been through many things that most will never experience. I’ve stood by my sweet Daughter’s bedside and held her hands, stroked her beautiful face and hair for hours waiting for the morning to come so we could go home and everything be back to normal. I watched my sweet Meagan gasp for air and collapse. I heard the most awful, terrifying words,”Starting compressions.” I saw them trying to revive my precious daughter’s lifeless body. I’ve spent hours in a waiting room with my husband crying and begging God to save my Meagan, to hear our cry, to have mercy and allow her to stay. We had no chance or time to text or post prayer requests to ask our friends all over the country to beg God with us. It was just me and my husband.

I stared at a doctor as he told us there was nothing more they could do, and had to give them permission to stop trying to bring my Meagan back to life. I walked down a long hallway to a closed curtain room and as we got closer, I caught a glimpse of her covered feet through the curtain and realized then, she wasn’t moving. I walked through that curtain and cried and apologized to my sweet girl for not doing more.

I did leave the hospital the next morning, but not with my Meagan. I sat with my husband that morning as we told our Nathan and Lauren that their sister went to Heaven. We picked out a casket, flowers, memory marker,  and music, for her funeral. I kissed my Meagan’s sweet head and stroked her hair one more time and watched as they closed the casket knowing it would be my last time to see her here on this Earth. I walked down a long path with our sweet family to Meagan’s graveside, and watched them lower her in the ground. I have lived 641 days without my sweet Meagan.

God is proven in your life when a tragedy like this comes. It’s easy to say God is good when you have your whole family, and when things are going well. It’s easy to praise Him when He answers a prayer with the outcome for which you asked. It’s easy to say, “God is a God of miracles” when the miracle comes for you. It’s easy to have faith when it hasn’t been tested.

Our faith has been tested. God didn’t answer our hearts cry and prayer with the outcome for which we begged. He didn’t come in and save her life. He didn’t perform the miracle we wanted. Yet, in these passed 21 months, God has never been more sweet, faithful and real to me!

I have felt a love like never before. I have had the sweetest of fellowship with my Jesus. He has proven Himself faithful over, and over, and over again. He has never failed me! God is good!

He is sweeter and more real today than ever before. I run to Him, and He is there waiting with open arms and daily loadeth me with abundant grace and loving mercy. He gives strength in my weakness.

I hold tighter to Jesus today than I ever have in my life. He gives me hope, an eternal hope! He is my anchor for my soul, for without him I would surely drift away. He is there holding on to me. He has never let go, has not once loosened His grip; He is a strong and mighty God!

I’ve just decided to hold on, to let Him lead me and guide me in the path He has chosen. For it is on this path I will find everything I need, for every moment of every day. I’m so thankful for my Saviour. He is so faithful!

Hebrews 10:23 says, ”…for He is faithful that promised…”

Hebrews 6:19 reminds us, ”Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul…”

I love you my sweet Meagan. I miss you more everyday. I’m so thankful you are safe with Jesus and that He is always with me!

by: Sandy Domelle

There will be times in life when we will all face a crisis. Our children need to see that we have the wisdom to know how to handle a crisis when it comes. Whether it is a life struggle, home emergency, or a sickness or death, how you handle the crisis will give stability and comfort to your children. This helps them with their future and shows them how to manage a crisis in their life.

In 1 Samuel 25, we see the story of Abigail, a lady who wisely handled a crisis that saved her family’s life. When her husband wasn’t wise enough to treat David and his men kindly, she was smart enough to handle the crisis without making her husband look bad. Here are several thoughts from her life that will help you in a crisis.

1. She was a wise woman.

If we want to have the wisdom to help in any situation, we must be in God’s Word. I love studying out the word “wisdom” in the Bible because God gives us so many verses to help us understand how to obtain the wisdom we need. Her wisdom was evident in a crisis. She didn’t have time to talk it over with others; she had to act quickly. That’s why it’s so important to have your walk with God. When things come at you quickly, you will have the wisdom to deal with things. There are times you need to make spur of the moment decisions. In those split seconds of time, are when the most critical decisions are made. Abigail didn’t have time to sit and ponder; she had to make a decision immediately.

2. She was bold.

David was a powerful man who easily could have destroyed her family. Abigail was wise enough to act boldly to protect her family and David’s reputation. David commented on her wise boldness in verses 32-33 by saying, “…Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand.” There are times when ladies need to be bold, but they need to be wise enough not to allow their boldness to usurp a man’s authority.

3. She brought peace to the situation.

Her wisdom brought peace to this stressful situation. Verse 35 says, “So David received of her hand that which she had brought him, and said unto her, Go up in peace to thine house; see, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person.” When children are arguing and fighting throughout the day, you need to have enough wisdom to stop the skirmishes so that you can keep peace in the house. You will bring harmony to your marriage if you are wise in handling disagreements you have with your husband. Instead of using sharp words or losing your temper when tense situations arise, be wise with your responses. Be the peacemaker and not the instigator.

4. She thought quickly and moved on her decision.

Her decision was life or death for her family, and she was willing to stand when her husband was weak and didn’t care. If your husband isn’t strong, do you still stand strong? Are you wise enough to move without making your husband feel inferior. You can still handle situations and be submissive to your husband’s leadership if you learn how to think quickly and make wise decisions. Proverbs 2:6 says, “For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.” If you read God’s Word daily, you will find that God’s wisdom gives you the knowledge to move on your decision during your crisis.

5. She knew how to diffuse the situation.

Abigail was wise enough to gather the food for David and his men which diffused the heated situation. Proverbs 13:10 says, “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” Do you ask God for His wisdom to diffuse those contentious situations? Saying the right thing at the right time can stop a crisis situation. Proverbs 25:11 says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Let your words be that “word fitly spoken” by using God’s wisdom to diffuse those situations that will harm your family. There are going to be times when your husband won’t be there to handle the crisis. In those times, you need to be wise enough to handle the situations yourself. You will only have that wisdom by spending time with God.

Abigail was a strong woman who knew how to use her strength and wisdom during a crisis.  She didn’t usurp her husband but did it with grace and dignity. When your crisis comes, will you be prepared?

by: Bette Owens

Acts 11:23
“Who, when he came, and had seen the grace of God, was glad, and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord.”

How do you raise children with a purpose? How did we do it? What did we do that families are not doing today? Raising children to have a purpose is done on purpose! When I look at the average Christian family today, it seems like they don’t really believe God’s Word. That may sound harsh, but it appears that they just do not take God’s Word literally. Families just pick and choose what they like or want to obey. It is okay to believe God’s Word when it comes to salvation, and thou shalt not steal or kill, but suddenly when it comes to faithfulness to church, soul winning or tithing, or “Go ye into all the world…”, then God doesn’t really mean what He says or that part of Scripture doesn’t apply to us.

When we first got married, my husband and I wanted to serve God. When we read the Bible, we believed that all of it applied to us, that it works, and we followed it. Whatever God said applied to us and was important to us. When God said to be faithful to church, we were. Nothing was more important than going to church. Not a family reunion, not the Super Bowl, not a job, not a headache, not bad weather, not mother-in-law or grandmother, not a funeral, nothing kept us from God’s house. When we read the Bible and it said, “Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel…”, we believed that applied to us and to our children, and we started supporting missionaries. We never read in the Bible to get an education, be a doctor, lawyer, or vet. If God said it, that settled it, and we learned to like it. It didn’t matter if we agreed at first or not, this was God speaking. God is not here for us, we are here for God! On purpose we were going to follow God and serve Him with all our heart. What is your purpose? What is God’s purpose for you? Many go through life just doing a routine, or whatever happens, happens. We did not believe in “Well, we’ll wait and see what happens.” We made it happen. If God says it, it is possible! Do you really live your life with a purpose?

Parents will say that they want their children to grow up and do right. Some will even add that they want them to serve God, yet I see very few who have that purpose or direction in their lives. Everything we did was for the purpose of serving Jesus and to bring honor and glory to Him. In Matthew 22:37, “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” We knew we had to give God our whole heart. This means there is no room left for anything else. As we were living for Him, we would also pray and ask God to show us things in our lives that we needed to do or not do to better serve Him. The way we dressed, the places we went, the jobs we had, and the children we would have. The only thing that mattered to us was to live for and bring honor and glory to our Saviour. We on purpose determined that nothing and no one would stop us.

We on purpose served Him. When we prayed, we asked God to help us serve Him and to stand strong in following the Word of God. We prayed that God would give us children to raise for Him, to serve Him. They were not to serve Him by accident, but on purpose. We even prayed that if our children were not going to serve God that He would just take them. Our whole purpose in having children was so we could raise them with a purpose to serve God. Was that an easy request to pray? No, but we meant it, and on purpose we have raised our children to serve God. Is it a surprise they are all serving Him today? Was it an accident? Did they have to wait for some spiritual calling? No, it was on purpose and God called them.

As our children were growing up, they knew that the most important thing in life was serving Jesus Christ. Nothing came between us and our purpose; not a job, school, family reunion, bad weather, finances, sickness, a broken-down car, fear, sports, vacation, hobbies or feelings. I could go on and on. We put everything into serving the Lord. He is our purpose for living. We had a purpose and nothing came between us and our purpose. Better yet, God gave us a purpose and we were set on fulfilling that purpose. Our children have a purpose because they were trained on purpose, and they followed our example. In order to raise children with a purpose, you must first have a purpose, and believe God’s Word. If we do not understand this truth from God’s Word about purpose, we are no different from the unsaved parent. Any unsaved parent or carnal Christian can raise a child to adulthood, and even instill character. Only a Christian parent who believes God, makes serving Him their purpose in life, and truly follows His Word can raise a child with Christian character who will serve Him with purpose of heart.

Now, you need to understand the cost. Just because you have a purpose and live it doesn’t mean that opposition, heartache or disappointments won’t come. They will, as these things are all part of life. Opposition and problems don’t mean we have the wrong purpose or that we are going in the wrong direction. We must now teach our children how to handle these obstacles. Our children are not perfect, and when they did wrong or made mistakes, we had to be very careful that we didn’t just give up and think, “God can’t use them now”. We sometimes have a hard time moving past the hurt to see the real picture. When troubles come, the carnal response is to get bitter against others or God. We play the blame game, the cry-baby game, or the quit game. We have to be careful when our children disappoint us or there is an obstacle, that we don’t think that God is finished with them. Every one of us has messed up. Let’s quit dwelling on our children’s faults or life’s unfairness and get busy helping them move on to accomplish their purpose. Other people may have their opinions, and even think that your child is never going to make anything of their life, but we understand that God is still cheering them on. If every time our children were told they would never amount to anything for God, had they believed that and given up, none of our children would be serving God today! Just because a child gets demerits in Bible college or smarts off to a teacher, or makes a wrong choice doesn’t mean God is through with him. No one is perfect, everyone is a sinner. Just because your child doesn’t fit into a certain mold, or doesn’t follow some man-made course doesn’t make him or her a failure. Keep working with them and encouraging them. God just might need them to go in a different direction, or their troubles may be just the experience they need to accomplish their purpose. Continue to remind them to on purpose follow their purpose.

There would not be any pastors, missionaries or great men of God if, when they messed up, someone wasn’t there to encourage them to keep going. God wasn’t finished with them yet. We have this crazy idea that because we are living the Christian life; praying, tithing, reading our Bible, and being faithful to God’s house, that this will make everything perfect and there will be no opposition, nothing will break down, and we will all live happily ever after. This is so far from the truth! Even when you are serving the Lord, things still break down, sickness still comes, discouragement still comes and life here will still go on to be what we make it, on purpose. You are still living here on Earth, and you are not exempt from the problems of life. You have to teach your children how to handle things in life. Problems are an opportunity to teach. Deuteronomy 13:3-4, “…for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.” It is the opposition, discouragement and problems in life that can turn our hearts from our purpose and cause bitterness if we do not learn how to handle these things and teach our children how to handle them. For every wrong in life there is a right reaction. Teach your child how to react right.

Our children know that obstacles in life are not there to stop us, but to build us. We taught them to use the problems to help them fulfill their purpose, not to stop them. Almost daily in our house you would hear, “What do you think you should do, and what does God say you should do? So, what should you do?” It doesn’t matter what I say or your teacher says, what does God say? Everyone who has ever done anything for the Lord has had to stand alone and face lots of opposition, even from well-meaning Christians. Psalm 119:69, “The proud have forged a lie against me: but I will keep thy precepts with my whole heart.” You have to teach your children to do right, no matter what the obstacle, and follow what they know God wants them to do, no matter what others say. Some will say it is impossible, others will say you will never make it and you won’t amount to anything. Some will even say, “Not everyone will serve God full-time.” That doesn’t matter if you have a purpose and follow it on purpose, nothing will stop you. It is a necessity to have a burning desire to follow your God-given purpose.

It was no surprise to us when our sons, who are missionaries, raised their support in record time. Others said, “You cannot do it,” but they did. They had a purpose and nothing was going to keep them from their purpose. When they worked a secular job, they did it well and moved up fast, because they had a purpose. It wasn’t to get rich, it was to get busy and to get where God wanted them. It is no surprise to us that we have four sons on the mission field. It is also no surprise to us that our daughters are pastor’s wives, assistant pastor’s wives or serving in a good church, soul winning and teaching Sunday school. Everything in our lives is for the purpose of serving Him. Everything was used on purpose as a means to accomplish our purpose. 1 Samuel 12:24 “Only fear the LORD, and serve him in truth with all your heart; for consider how great things he hath done for you.”

Don’t wait to teach your children they need to serve the Lord. We knew our children were going to serve the Lord before they were ever born. Their whole purpose in coming into this world was to serve Him. We believed that they were called at conception to serve Him. It is no surprise to us or an accident that they are serving Him. It was all done on purpose. This may be blunt, but we did not want to have them if they weren’t going to serve the Lord. No one ever accomplished more than their purpose. Keep your purpose high. Keep your child’s purpose high. God’s purpose for a husband and wife is to be fruitful and multiply, not to produce a bunch of humans who do not have a purpose or do not love God, but to produce many more Christians who have a purpose and love the Lord and want to serve Him. We would be better off with no children if they are not going to serve Him. We did not wait around for God to “call” our children to serve Him. We did not wait around for our children to “figure out” what God wanted them to do. We picked up a Bible and told them what God wanted them to do. We on purpose trained our children to serve Him. We on purpose had them around evangelists, missionaries and preachers. Whenever an evangelist, missionary or preacher was visiting our church, we had them in our home. If they were within driving distance, we went to hear them. Our children understood that these people were very important servants of God. They enjoyed talking to them and listening to them. We made great men of God our heroes, which in turn became our children’s heroes. We never considered a doctor, lawyer, politician, policeman, fireman, nurse, celebrity or ball player a hero and neither did our children. These people may do good deeds or have some talent, but the real heroes were those serving the Lord. Missionaries, preachers and evangelists; our children knew these were important people, and we knew one day our children would be doing likewise. All of our children knew that their purpose for being alive was to serve God. They never had any doubt that their parents purpose was to serve God, and they determined to do the same. They also knew that they had to work hard to accomplish their purpose, and it is not always the easy road, but it is the only road worth traveling. They believed it is the only life that brings honor and glory to Jesus Christ.

2 Timothy 3:10-17, “But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience, Persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived. But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.”

Bette Owens
Pastor’s Wife
Westside Baptist Church
Pacifica, CA

by: Sandy Domelle

Psalm 119:72, “The law of thy mouth is better unto me than thousands of gold and silver.”

As a young child, my parents gave each of us a little New Testament to take to church to teach us the importance of carrying a Bible. I remember getting my very first Bible when I began to read, this was the entire Bible with the Old and New Testaments in it to use for church and devotions. When that Bible began to fall apart, I was given another one when I was in sixth grade, and I still have that Bible to this day. I have one more Bible that was given to me when I was a teenager getting ready to leave to go to the Philippines with my parents. That Bible had many special memories and many things written in it as it became a bit of a comfort to me as I went through many changes in my high school years.

When my parents went to the Philippines as missionaries, I left friends to find new friends; we changed foods, culture, climate, so many changes. My dad told me that with moving far away changes would come, and some might seem hard, but we would work through them together and that my Bible would be the one consistency that would not change. He said to run to God’s Word whenever you don’t understand something, are afraid, feel forgotten and homesick. My dad made this challenge to me as a 15-year-old girl, and those words have stayed with me all these years.

Memorizing the Bible was crucial to the Filipino people in our church because many of them never had the opportunity to own a Bible. They learned chapter after chapter just so they felt they had God’s Word in their heart, even if they couldn’t own a Bible. Here, we complain because our children need to learn a few verses per week for a test at school because we “don’t have the time to help.” As an adult, when was the last time you spent time memorizing Bible verses? Are you too busy for God’s Word? How precious and dear is God’s Word to you? It’s time we get back to memorizing it.

The older I get, the more precious and dear my Bible is to me. I guess it’s because we go through more, see the struggles of others, and realize the need of getting strength for each day. It’s what you run to for help, comfort, advice, and strength.

I’ve heard people say that they don’t have time to read their Bible because their work and family schedules conflict with finding time to read it. I’ve also heard people say that they feel their Bible time is useless. They say they get nothing from reading the Bible because they are in a hurry to read it so they can get out the door. It’s not how much you read that makes you a great Christian, but that you find time to read enough until it burns inside of you.

There have been days when I read my Bible, and I didn’t get much from it. But, as I went about my day and cleaned the house, ran errands or was sitting at a stoplight, something I read that morning came back, I started thinking about it, and it made all the sense in the world to me. Or, the preacher will get up and make a statement about something I read, and it pulled it all together for me. It’s just finding that special time each day to spend time reading and gleaning from the Bible what you can to help you.

Do you know there are times when the very thing I read that morning is the very thing that someone will come to me about for help. God knows what we need, and I know He helps me in the morning as I read the Bible to learn things that will help me be the source of strength and encouragement to others.

I think it’s important that we teach our children that God’s Word is precious and dear; NEVER forget that. I think it’s important to teach our children that the Bible is better than acquiring gold and silver. Here are a few things my parents taught us as children to show us the importance of Bible.

1. They made sure we never went to church without a Bible in our hands.

2. They made sure we read a small portion of the Bible every morning before we left for school.

3. They helped us memorize our verses for school.

4. They taught us never to leave the Bible lying around. Never lay the Bible on the ground and never put things on top of it.

5. They taught us that the Bible was the most special Book we would ever own and to treat it with love and respect.

6. They sang Bible verse songs with us.

7. We had family devotions each night, and we each had to read from our own Bible.

8. When I didn’t understand standards and convictions, they had us bring our own Bible to them, we would look up verses together, and they would have us mark the verse and write beside it to what the verse pertained. Ex: modesty, smoking, rebellion, etc.

9. They encouraged us to have preachers sign our Bibles. This helped me remember who preached youth revivals, special services and things that help change my life.

10. They made sure we knew that we only believed in the KJB.

There were many more things we could teach our children, but as a mother, we are to do all we can to help train our children in the right direction. Instilling the importance of spending time with the Lord in prayer and reading their Bible will be one of the most important character building lessons you can teach them.

by: Barbara Grande

I like football because it reminds me so much of life as life should be lived. The players are motivated to move forward no matter the cost. They are knocked down, pushed back, and injured, but they do their very best to get back in the game and reach their goal. The cheering crowd is always there too, doing what they can to encourage their team through all sorts of challenging weather. Neither team lets the opposition get them off track, no matter how grim the outlook.

There are couples and families I know of personally who remind me of football. They are united, share the same goals, move forward no matter the cost, cheer each other on, live a life of service to others in their home and abroad, and score big for God’s glory.

My goal is to have that kind of family. One that “presses toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14) This goal became a very real challenge to me while reading about a father in the Bible named Jonadab the son of Rechab. Jeremiah 35, tells us that his children had wine set in front of them and they were told to drink it. They refused stating that their father commanded them not to drink wine. Neither were they to build homes, nor sow seed, nor plant vineyards, nor have any all their lives. Later in this chapter, we see that God used them as an example of obedience before the disobedient children of Israel. Here was a family during a very dark period in Israel, who faithfully obeyed their father’s command, yet His own children chose to disobey Him. As a result, God promised the children of the Rechabites that they would have a man to stand before Him forever. After reading this passage, I shared it with my husband. He was very interested in this story. He dug deeper, and discovered a gold mine. We learned that Jehonadab, the first son of Rechab, was an Arab of Palestine. He made friends with Israel and decided to follow their God with all his heart. He is mentioned in 2 Kings 10:15 when Jehu asked, “Is thine heart right, as my heart (is) with thy heart?” Jehonadab replied, “It is.” Jehu then said to him in verse 16, “Come with me and see my zeal for the Lord.” Jehonadab went with Jehu and cleaned up God’s house. We also learned that Jehonadab gave the command to his sons not to drink wine, nor sow seed, nor plant vineyards, nor have them 300 years before the incident mentioned in Jeremiah 35. For 300 years his sons, their wives, and their sons and daughters had obeyed his commands. Because of God’s promise that they would always have a man to stand before Him forever, we have to conclude that somewhere in this world there is a descendant of Jehonadad standing for Him in spirit and truth. When we learned of this victorious family, what a testimony and challenge it was to me and my family.

To have a family like the Rechabites does not just happen by chance. Surely, Jehonadab made some decisions which he stood by and did not budge. His wife, children and their descendants kept those commands as well. As stated in Jeremiah 35:8, “Thus have we obeyed the voice of Jonadab the son of Rechab our father in all that he hath charged us, to drink no wine all our days, we, our wives, our sons, nor our daughters.” As a wife and mother of six, I know it is not always easy or convenient to abide by God’s commands. It is so very easy to get distracted and off track. If we are determined to be faithful till the end, it is going to take commitment.

Earlier in this article, some couples and families were mentioned whom I consider to be winners. They have overcome the temptation of this world to quit. God has used them to influence others to stand for Him in spirit and truth. Here are some lessons I have learned from them that have helped me to follow my husband, keep our family focused on doing God’s will, and enjoy an abundant life together too.

 1. Do not neglect time spent with God in Bible reading and prayer.

I have discovered through Bible reading that God cares very much about our struggles as women, wives and mothers. He heard Hannah’s prayer and gave her a son. He cared about Hagar (a forsaken wife and mother) and Ishmael (her son), and tenderly cared for them when Sarah cast them out into the desert. He provided for widows and took notice of their sacrifices. He healed children. He gave hope and another chance to Rahab the harlot. He tells us to cast our cares on Him for He cares for us. When you discover that God is really for you, the only direction you will be going is forward for Him.

Prayer is an opportunity to lift up our family, church and country before Him, and need I say, each is in dire need of His divine help today. Prayer will also give you a vision for God, and that vision will help you to stay on track.

2. Have Bible time and prayer as a family.

This time is so worth the effort. Our children are young adults now (with the exception of our youngest) but from the time they were infants, we have prayed and read our Bibles together, and it has helped us to care for each other all the more. It also kept us focused on doing God’s will, and reminded us to care about others outside of our home.

3. Get involved in your local Bible believing church.

Hebrews 10:24-25 exhorts us “to consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manners of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”

4. Encourage your children to serve in your church.

When they are young they are eager to serve, so let them serve in a way that is appropriate for their age.

Teach them how to get along with others and forgive. The best way to do this is to be an example yourself. I know the temptation to say something unkind or seek revenge. That kind of behavior will only hurt the spirit of a church and discourage many, especially our children who are watching. If prayer and Bible reading are neglected this will be very hard to do.

5. Love, respect and enjoy your spouse and children.

A happy home more often than not encourages your children to want to carry on God’s purpose for their lives. So, have fun with your family on an individual basis and together.

Have a time alone with your spouse each week. Use that time to discuss family issues if necessary, but most of all, let it be a time of relaxation and pleasant conversation.

Every day tell your family that you love them. Do something out of the ordinary for your spouse that says, “I love and appreciate you.” Place your young children on your lap and assure them of your love and God’s love for them. The best time for this is before they go to bed. That is when they seem to need you the most. A kind human touch produces a hormone that promotes well being and gives them the assurance they need. As your children get older, never push them away or seem annoyed when they want to hug you or just be near you. Be approachable to your whole family, this will not be so difficult if you are spending time in your Bible and prayer. Our God is always forgiving and full of tender mercies. Why should we not treat our family the same way?

Practice good manners at home and everywhere you go. Words such as “thank you,” “please,” “may I,” “excuse me” are not expressed as often as they should be. Let us do our part in keeping these practices alive by passing them on to our children.

The foundation to faithfulness is Bible, prayer, church attendance and service to others (in your home and abroad). With a healthy dose of all these we can be like the Rechabites, committed till the end, and our homes will be sweeter indeed when each lives for the other and all live for God.

Barbara Grande
Pastor’s Wife
Stockton, MO

by: Sandy Domelle

Psalm 144:12, “That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace:”

The older our daughter becomes, the more aware I am of how little time I have left to prepare her to be the Christian wife she is meant to be. I believe God gives us children not to test our patience, not to grow our faith or to make us grow old quickly, He gives us children to train for Him. We see challenges through the training process, but these challenges can bring great reward and joy.

Several months ago, I wrote an article on the differences between “teaching” your children and “training” your children. Teaching a child is basically telling them “how to” do things, but training comes from “one on one” instruction that not only tells them how to do something but also shows them how to do it. I can tell our daughter how to make a recipe, but when I do it with her I train her the proper way of following the recipe and the quickest way to get the results needed.

God created me first for my husband and I am to put him first after God. Next comes my children, and with my children comes the great task of training them not to just grow up and be a good person, but to train them to serve the Lord. I firmly believe that if a child is given to us by God and they are being raised in a Christian home, I am to do all I can to help them, teach them, train them and groom them for the Lord’s work, not the secular world.

Mothers need to get back to spending good quality time with their children. Yes, we live in a busy society. Yes, many mothers have to work, but if we don’t get back to training and developing the characteristics inside of our children, we are going to lose the next generation of strong Christian families.

Our society does everything they can to pull our children to the world. The television promotes all the things we are against. Clothing styles never promote the decent and modest trends our children need. Purity has become a joke. We have to work overtime at keeping our children’s heart pointed to the Christian realm and making it fun and enjoyable and making them feel they aren’t missing out on all the worldly ways. I grew up in a Christian home and didn’t feel I was missing out on the world.

In the verse above, God commands us to ground our children, stabilize them and polish them for their purpose in life. You will notice especially that it says that we are to groom our daughters to be “corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.” In other words, we are to make our daughters strong and prepared to be the wife of who she is to marry. Let me give you some ideas of how to prepare your daughter to become a good Christian wife.

First, train your daughter at an early age to have duties and to complete them. As soon as they are able to pick up things, they can help put toys away. As soon as they are big enough to pull their sheets up the bed, they can make their own bed. You can have them carry folded clothes one by one to a dresser even at a very young age. You are training them by giving them duties to help you, but then praise them when they complete the task.

Second, train her the basics of caring for herself. It’s funny to me that many mom’s think that they don’t need to teach their daughter’s the importance of personal hygiene until they are in Jr. high. To me, a young lady needs to be trained the importance of bathing every day from an early age. She needs to learn to wash her hair and keep it brushed at a young age. She needs to learn that she needs deodorant when she starts to sweat and has body odor. Teach them at a young age to do their own hair. Make sure they are brushing their teeth in the morning before school and at night before bed. They can learn to use mouthwash and be conscious of good breath. You can teach them at a young age to sew a button on and to iron their own clothing. Our daughter has been ironing her own clothes since she was in grade school. We taught her when she started school to pick out her own clothes the night before and to get out all of her clothes and have them ironed the night before. We were training her to prepare ahead of time so she wasn’t rushing at the last minute. Often because you scurry and do things at the last minute, you end up training your children to do the same.

Third, train her to be neat and tidy. Don’t allow her to be a clutter bug. From the moment our daughter could pick up toys, we taught her that she had to pick up toys before doing the next thing. We didn’t allow her to have toys that were strewn across the house and her room. By training her to pick up after herself before moving to the next project, it helped as she got older that she continued to pick up after herself. We taught her at an early age that she had to have chores and that it was okay to do dirty jobs. If you don’t have them scrub toilets, tubs, and floors, then they become prissy in the jobs they want to do. It’s not wrong to train them to get dirty!

Fourth, train her to cook. Make sure you train her well. Start with the simple things and work on meals together until she can master them. It’s very sad that so many young ladies cannot master a simple meal. I taught our daughter to make her dad’s favorite cookies first. We then had her help with the meals, and now she can cook many meals on her own. I want her to be a great cook when she gets married so that her husband is thankful that he doesn’t have to starve or feel that he has to fake how much he enjoys her food.

Fifth, train her to keep dad first and to seek his advice. We make sure when it is meal time that dad gets served first. He gets the best piece of dessert, the best seat in the house, his laundry is always done and cared for; whatever we can do for him so that he has a nice night with us, we do for him. Dad works hard to provide for us and to make sure the bills are paid and our needs are met so he deserves all the extra loving he can get from us. If I push our daughter towards her dad and she keeps him first, someday when she has a husband she’ll do the same for him. I also try to train our daughter to ask dad what he thinks about different things. If she learns to get his advice and opinions and to value them, she’ll also do this someday with a husband. Young girls seek and accept guidance more from the dad in a certain stage of their life than they do from mom. Am I saying you don’t have a close relationship with your daughter? No! By nature, our daughters have the desire to follow a man. As a mother, it’s our job to train them to do this.

Sixth, train her to have a submissive spirit. You’ll never train your daughter properly in submission if you personally are not the example you should be. Your children do know when dad has one idea and mom has another. Too often when this happens the mom tries to do all in her power to make things go her way. Sometimes it’s just mom wants what “I” want and not what works best for the rest of the family. Your daughters need to see that you are willing to set your preference aside and follow your husband. If she learns this, she has the key to a happy marriage, motherhood and what it takes to keep the family intact.

Seventh, train her to have a walk with God. If you don’t make them start reading their Bible and praying at a young age, why do you think they will instantly change when they become a teenager or go off to Bible College? A good spiritual Christian home functions the best it can when both parents have a walk with God. Often, one spouse will have a walk with God and the other doesn’t which brings a lot of inconsistency in a home. This is where the children learn what parent is weaker and the one they can get to bend the rules. The home has to run consistently to turn out spiritual Christian kids. I could’ve just said, “Christian kids,” but any home that is Christian can produce Christian kids. I want to go a step beyond and make sure they are godly and spiritual and want to serve the Lord. I want them to have the desire to have a relationship with the Lord and the desire to stay out of the world and wrap their life up in God’s Word, the church and helping others. None of this is possible if they don’t start developing a walk with God. We are spiritual on purpose, not by accident!

Eighth, train her to notice a young man with character. Although our daughter isn’t allowed to date in high school, we can point out the young men who have good qualities and character for their age. We aren’t against her liking a guy and thinking he’s cute, and we should encourage her to like boys and not girls! But, if we point out the good qualities in the young men around her, we are training her what to look for in a husband. Mention the great qualities your husband has and tell her that those are the types of things to look for in a young man. Most women end up marrying a man similar to their father.

When she does begin to date, stay on top of the relationship. Make sure she’s dating the right type of young man. If you have red flags, there are ways to discourage her from dating without causing huge fights between you. I believe if you train her right, are praying every day for her future spouse, and you have a great relationship with her, she’ll have an open mind to you when you do disapprove of her choice. We ultimately want our daughter to find a young man who will be a hard worker, serve the Lord and be faithful to our daughter. It’s so important you pray for their future spouse while they are young. I pray that the Lord will help him to grow up with the right influences that will keep him from sin and not allow him to experience the world and to be a spiritual young man. I feel it’s just as important for me to be praying for him now even though I don’t know who he is or when he will join our family. Ultimately, once our daughter marries him, he will guide her the rest of her life, and I want to be sure she gets the right young man. You want to keep a close relationship with your daughter as she dates. Don’t nag at the little things (if he’s color blind, his dad is bald, etc) but be aware and alert on the important things. Is he spiritual, is he involved in church, does he listen to authority, is he a hard worker, etc. If there comes a time when you just don’t have peace about a young man, pray him away. I say that because I dated a young man in Bible college who my parents never met. My parents lived thousands of miles away on the mission field. Yet, when my dad would daily pray for me, he just didn’t have the peace that he was the “the one.” He prayed for me to break up with this young man and we did. No parent wants to see their child hurt in a relationship, but if it takes a break up in dating to save their marriage down the road, the hurt that comes from a broken relationship while dating is well worth it.

We have our children for a very short time. The years go quickly and we must do all we can on a daily basis to train our daughters to be wonderful Christian ladies who will serve the Lord, marry right, be submissive, love their husbands and be great mothers. It’s not going to happen because you focus in on it the last couple years of high school. Train them now while they are young. It’s so much easier to train them to live by routine and character when they are young.