1 Corinthians 1:10
“Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.”
One of the major components to a happy marriage is for both husband and wife to work together as one flesh. Ephesians 5:31 says, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” This verse makes it very clear that God intended for the husband and wife to work together. If you are going to enjoy your marriage, you are going to have to guard against those things that would cause division in it. The best way to guard against those things that would divide your marriage is to do the things that would cause your marriage to be “one flesh.” God shows us some things in this chapter that will help your marriage to work as “one flesh.”
First, you must think the same way. The verse above says, “… that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind…” I know it seems impossible for married couples to think alike, but you must if you want your marriage to be happy. Everyone knows that men and women think differently; so, how do we get to the point where we both think the same way? In the verse above, God is talking more about the destination than the origination. He is saying that you both need to come to the same conclusion. This means that you are going to have to have dialogue if you want to have the same mind. You cannot think alike if you don’t talk together. Conversation is not one-sided, but it is both husband and wife talking through their differences. You will never be of the same mind if you don’t talk about the differences you have.
Moreover, if you are going to think alike, you are going to have to do things together. I have learned that the best way to start thinking alike is by spending time together. You will notice that many older couples think alike because they have spent so much time together. Don’t allow your minds to drift apart because you never spend time together. Purposely spend time together so you can start thinking alike.
Second, you must say the same thing. The verse above says, “…that ye all speak the same thing…” One of the purposes of dialogue is to determine what you are going to say. Once you get the same mind, you need to be sure you are both saying the same things. Don’t become a couple who contradict each other in public. Have you ever been in that uncomfortable situation where a couple contradicted each other and the tension rises? This happens because they were not saying the same thing. Don’t let your mouth be the cause of division.
Third, you must have the same judgment. The verse above talks about being “joined together…in the same judgment.” In other words, you need to come together in your decision making to avoid divisions in your marriage. Someone has to make the final decision, and according to the Scriptures it should be the husband; however, it is good to get the same mind before you make that decision. Talk about your decisions together. Don’t be a couple who go rogue on each other. Communicate before you decide.
If your marriage is going to be strong, you must avoid those things that cause division. Employ these three things in your marriage and you will find yourself having the same mind.