Dealing with Grief in a Positive Manner


1 Samuel 30:6
“And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.”

One of the most dangerous times in life for many people is when grief has stricken someone. In times of grief many bad decisions have been made. In times of grief many relationships have been damaged. In times of grief many dreams have been quenched. If grief is dealt with in a positive manner, then your grief can be turned into victory.

David and his men found themselves in a time of grief. Some of the men who were with David did not deal with their grief in a positive manner. Had it not been for David doing the right thing, these men would have done some things that they most certainly would have regretted later. On the other hand, though David felt the same grief that his men felt, he dealt with it in a positive manner and it truly became the beginning of several victories in David’s life. Let me show you how David dealt with grief in a positive manner.

First, he took time to grieve. His wives were gone, and he saw the grief of his men as many of them lost their wives and children. It says that David and the people with him wept. When grief comes your way, don’t be afraid to cry. Crying during times of grief is like relieving the pressure from the pressure cooker. If you don’t take time to grieve, you can become a walking time bomb that can hurt many people around you. There is nothing wrong with grieving. Jesus grieved when Lazarus was dead, and it is good for you to take time to grieve when going through times of grief.

Second, he didn’t do or say something that he would regret. The men with him thought of stoning him, but instead of lashing out at them and reminding them how he took them in when nobody wanted them, he kept quiet and understood that they were reacting out of grief. Be careful when you are grieving that you don’t add to your grief by doing or saying something foolish. Stay quiet and realize your feelings are raw at the moment.

Third, he took his grief to the LORD. The verse above says that David “encouraged himself in the LORD his God.” Friend, this is the best thing you can do. Only the LORD can help you through your grief. He has been where you are, and He knows exactly how you feel. Crying on the shoulder of man will do nothing for you, but taking your grief to the LORD to receive encouragement will help. Likewise, encouraging yourself in the LORD also means that you allow the Scriptures to help you in your grief. Psalms is a good book to read during your time of grief.

Fourth, David got up and pursued. This is the most important step that you take to get out of your grief. If you wallow in your grief it will never leave; however, if you get up and pursue life, you will find that you can overcome grief. The best pill for grief is to get up and continue to live. Continue to pursue life as if you had no grief. This is God’s way of snapping you out of any self-pity that may keep you down.

Christian, how you handle grief will determine how many people you will be able to help. If David had stayed in the self-pity of grief, he would not have been able to take the throne of Israel. There is a throne that God wants you to sit upon, but you must get up from your grief and pursue life. It is then that God will take that grief and turn it into victory.