March 2014 – Page 3 – Old Paths Journal

What Will It Take

by: Allen Domelle

When I was a teenager, there was a young adult man in our church who at one time was the golden gloves boxing champion for the Hawaiian Islands. Not only was he a good boxer, but he also held a black belt in martial arts. As a teenage young man, it was not difficult to want to be around him for in my eyes he epitomized a manly man.

One day he offered to give me and a friend of mine some boxing and martial arts lessons if we were interested. Well, of course we were interested! Both of us asked him when we could start and where we would train. We were told to meet him in his garage, and that we did. Beyond just getting us in shape to fight, he began to teach us some beginning pointers of boxing. He taught us to keep our hands up so that we could keep from getting punched. He also taught us the art of the jab and looking for the opening to hit the opponent.

We were only into a few lessons when he had me and my friend fight each other. It wasn’t going to be a whole boxing match, he just wanted to see if we were picking up what he taught us and to see what kind of fight we had in us. When I first started fighting my friend, it was hard to get into it because I found it hard to try and hurt a friend. Well, he apparently didn’t feel the same way. He kept looking for an opening to hit me in the face, and he found it and hit me pretty hard. Up to that point I was jabbing him, but with no fire in my gut, but after he hit me hard it ignited a fire to start fighting for if I didn’t I would end up on the mat. It took that hit in the face to finally get me to fight.

There is an element in fundamentalism who won’t fight for anything. Their mantra is that they don’t want to get involved in anything that does not concern their local church. Though I am not for us getting involved in needless battles, I am for a standing up and fighting for truth. It seems that many in fundamentalism don’t seem to have a fire in their gut to stand up and fight for truth. They have cowered to the pressure of liberals to get along for the greater cause. While truth is attacked, I watch them silently sit down all the while pretending that they are fighting for truth.

The liberals would make you think that fighting among Christian brethren is only a modern day problem that is caused by eccentric fundamental Baptists. They want to paint those who stand for truth as hate mongers and the battle as fighting over semantics. They paint those who stand for the truth as people who are destroying Christianity.

My question to these people is, what about Paul calling Peter on the carpet? Peter was teaching that the Gentiles needed to be circumcised, and Paul disagreed. Paul said in Galatians 2:11, “But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed.” Paul was not afraid to make a public battle about truth being attacked.

Again, there are those who love to use the Apostle Paul as an example of a man who didn’t fight, but was concerned with only spreading the Gospel. Yet, they conveniently forget to mention the tension between Paul and Barnabas in Acts 15:39 where it says, “And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;” This contention was not something that was a private matter, but it was public, and yes it was over opinion.

I am not calling for an all-out-war amongst the brethren, but I am saying that somewhere we must learn to stand and fight for truth. What scares me is that we are raising a generation of fundamentalist who believe that fighting or being controversial is an evil thing. There is a generation of young preachers who believe that we should be silent and not challenge those who publicly make an unscriptural stand.

Let me remind you of Jude 1:3 that says, “Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints.” If you are going to “contend for the faith,” then that means you are going to have to fight.

Shall we forget what Paul taught the young preacher Timothy? Paul told him in 1 Timothy 6:12, “Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.” This was not a novice preacher saying this, but it was a veteran preacher teaching a younger preacher to fight when faith is attacked.

There are some who want us to think that Paul’s ministry was only about teaching the grace of God to the Christians and to the lost. While grace was certainly a part of his ministry, his ministry was also a ministry of defending the faith. Let’s not forget what Paul said in 2 Timothy 4:7, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:” Yes, Paul’s ministry was about preaching the grace of God, but it was also about standing and fighting for truth when it was attacked.

When it comes to fighting battles, I find there are several positions people take.

There are some who have no stomach for fighting and will make no stand at all. This crowd won’t fight for anything. It doesn’t matter how hard they get hit, they just don’t have it in them to fight.

There are some who choose to fight battles by being silent. This is not fighting a battle, this is allowing error to go unchallenged. This seems to be one of the greatest positions I see today, but look what this position has done for us. Because preachers are silent when truth is attacked, well known men, who are good men, have been emboldened in their change because people were silent. This silence is teaching a younger generation that the error being preached and taught on national platforms is okay. Silence is nothing more than cowardice, and those who are silent and won’t take a public stance have no right to bemoan the change going on amongst the brethren.

There are some who put their finger to the air to find out which side is going to win, then they jump on the bandwagon of what they feel is the winning side. This crowd has no backbone because their position is a populace position. They are no more than a Balaam looking for the filthy lucre of acceptance. It’s not about right and wrong, it’s about being accepted by the crowd. They don’t follow truth, they follow crowds.

There are some who were hurt in previous battles that don’t want to fight. The reason they were hurt is because they fought for a personality and not for truth. Truth is the only reason for which we should fight. If you fight for personalities you may end up on the wrong side, but if you fight for truth you will always end up on the right side.

There are some who feel you need to destroy the people who made the error. This crowd is most likely the crowd that has turned many off from standing for the truth. This crowd makes a battle personal with a personality instead of for truth. Those who are changing always use this crowd as their mantra to stop fighting.

There are some who believe you should deal with the error and try to salvage the person. This is the crowd in which I desire to be. I’m for standing for truth, but I’m not for destroying people who go into error. Yes, the battle against error will always involve a personality who is trumpeting error, but this crowd truly wants to salvage those in error. They don’t make the battle personal, but they will certainly stand up publicly for truth.

Friend, there comes a time when you must fight. When our faith is publicly attacked, then we must publicly stand. When the local church is being attacked, then we must fight! When the King James Bible is being attacked, we must fight! When soul winning is attacked, we must fight! When morality is being attacked, we must fight! When the heritage of our old paths are being attacked, then we must fight! Those old paths are the paths that made us who we are. We must not idly stand by in silence and let the faith be attacked.

If you can’t fight for the basics of the faith, then for what will you fight? If you’re not willing to be vocal when the King James Bible, the local church, soul winning and the old paths are under attack, then when will you take a public stand? What does a person have to do for you to take a public stand against error? I wonder what it will take for preachers to wake up. Are we going to have to lose another generation for you to fight? While the emerging church creeps into our “fundamental” ranks and destroys churches, are you going to be silent?

Where are the Nathan’s of our day who will stand up to the David’s and say, “Thou art the man” when truth is attacked? Where are the John the Baptist’s who will call out the Herod’s of our day who are committing spiritual adultery with liberals? Where are the Stephen’s of our day who as laymen will not be silent when liberalism creeps into our churches?

Preacher, are you going to have to lose your children to liberalism to get the fight inside of you? Are you going to have to lose someone personal before you fight? Are you like me who was pretending to fight until I got hit in the face? I know, you’ve loathed the battles of the previous generations, but you must understand that it was the public battles of previous generations that gave us what we have. It’s time men of God stop being silent and get a backbone to stand when truth is under attack.

No, I’m not for making public battles over personalities, but I am for fighting publicly for truth when error is publicly being pushed. If you won’t fight, then what will your grandchildren have when they are adults? We fight because there is another generation who needs to know that what we believe is worth fighting for. If we stay silent when truth is publicly attacked, then your grandchildren will have no choice than to become a part of the wrong crowd.

As the song says:

Sound the battle cry! See, the foe is nigh;
Raise the standard high for the Lord;
Gird your armor on, stand firm every one;
Rest your cause upon His holy Word.

Strong to meet the foe, marching on we go,
While our cause we know, must prevail;
Shield and banner bright, gleaming in the light,
Battling for the right we ne’er can fail.

If we don’t fight the battle for truth in our country and churches, our homes will be destroyed. It is a tragedy that we’ve already lost one generation, must we lose another? It is time to stop being silent. Silence has never won one battle or saved one generation. It has always been the minority of those who firmly stood alone for truth that have won every battle and have preserved truth for the next generation.

The LORD’s Memorial

1 Corinthians 11:24
“And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.”

I have had the privilege of visiting several memorials in my lifetime. I have seen the Vietnam Wall Memorial in Washington D.C., the World War II memorial in the Philippines and Arlington National Cemetery. Each of these memorials commemorate the memory of people who gave their life for the freedom of their country. I could not imagine someone going to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and jumping on it or writing graffiti on it. This is the unthinkable because these places are memorials, and memorials are to be honored.

God said that the Lord’s Supper is to be done “in remembrance of me.” Every time you take the Lord’s Supper, you are remembering what He did for you on Calvary. God takes this time of remembrance seriously for it was His Son Who gave His life for the world. There are several things you should do when taking the Lord’s Supper.

First, let it be a time of self-examination. Verse 28 says, “But let a man examine himself…” The Lord’s Supper should be a time when the Christian makes sure that there is no known sin in their life. It is very dangerous to take the Lord’s Supper “unworthily.” Verses 29-30 say, “For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep.” When a person takes the Lord’s Supper with known sin in their life, they are asking God to punish them. You will notice that God says those who have taken it unworthily have ended up “weak…sickly” and some have even died. Always take time before you take the Lord’s Supper to take an honest look at yourself and be sure to get rid of sin.

Second, treat the Lord’s Supper with respect. Remember, this is done in memory of what Jesus did for us on Calvary. The Lord’s Supper is not a time to be talking, but it should be a solemn time. It should be a time of prayer and thanksgiving. You should never take the Lord’s Supper flippantly. Parents need to be sure their children understand the importance of taking the Lord’s Supper and also teach them how to act during it. In fact, I believe it would be wise for parents to have their children sit next to them during this time.

Third, remember what Christ endured on Calvary. When you take the bread, remember how He allowed His body to be bruised, beaten, tortured and broken so that your sins could be paid. Remember when you drink the juice how His blood is the only blood that can atone for sin. Friend, we would not be saved without the blood of Jesus Christ. When you hold the bread or juice in your hand, always take the time to silently pray and thank Jesus Christ for coming to Earth to pay for your sin.

Finally, make the Lord’s Supper a true memorial in your heart and mind. Though Jesus Christ has risen from the grave, what He did for us on Calvary must be properly and reverently remembered. It not only becomes a time of cleansing, but it also becomes a time of motivation to stir us to do more for Him. However regularly your church takes the Lord’s Supper, make it such a sacred time that you do not miss it, nor treat it in a flippant manner for it is the LORD’s memorial.

Please Pray for Deborah Efird

Deborah Efird is in need of your prayers. Mrs. Efird and her husband, Jimmy, have been members of the West Park Baptist Church in Rockwell, North Carolina, for over thirty years. Mrs. Efird is fighting cancer. She has a cancerous tumor that is too large to be removed at this time. The tumor is so big that doctors are not sure whether or not it is attached to her organs. They need it to shrink in size before they can remove it. She has already had three chemotherapy treatments and is in need of this tumor shrinking before the cancer spreads. Please pray for God’s healing hand on this dear Christian lady and for the doctors to have the wisdom on how to deal with her situation.

Mrs. Efird is the mother-in-law of the assistant pastor at West Park Baptist Church. She and her husband are active members in the church. Thank you in advance for your prayers for Mrs. Efird.

Enhancing Your Life

1 Corinthians 1:5
“That in every thing ye are enriched by him, in all utterance, and in all knowledge;”

One of the main reasons the church of Corinth was so fleshly was because they took their eyes off God and placed them on man. Paul starts his discourse with this church in this verse to show them exactly where they failed. He said to them, “That in every thing ye are enriched by him…” The reason they allowed fleshly sins in the church was because they took their eyes off Christ. When they took their eyes off Christ, then they lost the benefit of being “enriched by him.”

The word “enriched” means to be enhanced or to be made wealthy. Paul was not talking about them being made wealthy financially, but he was talking about their spiritual life being wealthy. Instead, this church was spiritually poor. Why were they spiritually poor? Because they took their eyes of Christ and lost His help to enhance their life. Yet, Paul said that through Christ we are “enriched” in every thing.

First, you will notice that Christ will help enhance your speech. I know right now the “educated” people look at this and think this is foolish, but God’s Word said that Christ will enrich them “in all utterance.” When you keep your eyes on Christ, you will find that He will guide your conversations. It is interesting to watch a person’s conversation change who spends much time in the Scriptures. When you spend time with Christ, He changes your language.

One of the greatest illustrations of this is the Apostle Peter. Reading through the Gospels you see that Peter had a problem with cursing, but after much time with Christ his cursing tongue was cleaned up. God always enhances your ability to speak. He will not only clean up your language, but He will also bring your standard of speaking to a higher level. You will converse on a more knowledgeable basis with Christ’s help.

Second, Christ will enhance your knowledge. The verse above clearly states that Christ will enrich you “in all knowledge.” You must realize that Christ is the source of all knowledge. Spending time with Christ makes you smarter in every area. The mechanic will have their mechanical skills enhanced by spending time with Christ. The physician will have their medical knowledge enhanced by spending time with Christ. The lawyer and judge will have their judicial knowledge enhanced by spending time with Christ. The computer technician will have their computer knowledge enhanced by spending time with Christ. The educator will have their knowledge enhanced by spending time with Christ. It doesn’t matter in what field you work, if you spend time with Christ He will enhance your knowledge in that area.

Furthermore, you must remember that God says He will enrich you “in every thing.” That means every area of life is enhanced when you spend time with Christ and keep your eyes on Him. Your marital and family life is enhanced by keeping your eyes on Christ. Your spiritual life will be enhanced by spending time with Christ. No matter what you do, Christ enhances every area of life.

Christian, don’t forget to ask Christ to help you in every thing you do. When you drive down the road, ask Christ to help you. When you cook a meal, ask Christ to help you. When you study for a test, ask Christ to help you. Whatever you do, Christ will make everything you do better if you will keep your eyes on Him. The secret to making your life better is to keep your eyes on Christ.

Great Day in Rockwell, NC

Today I started a meeting at the West Park Baptist Church in Rockwell, NC. Pastor Charley Carver has been the pastor at this church for 29 years. It is an amazing church! Today the auditorium was filled with people coming to church to have God work in their hearts. God certainly did so with the altars filled this morning and tonight. I would invite anyone in this area to support the meeting Monday and Tuesday evening at 7pm.

I have known Pastor Carver for many years. What I enjoy about Pastor Carver is his love for the old paths. Though he has recently endured some battles in his church, he unapologetically stands for the old paths. This is the type of preacher that this country had when it was strong. I appreciate the people at West Park Baptist Church and the hospitality they have shown to this preacher.

I look forward to seeing what the LORD is going to do in the next two nights as we continue to preach about the old paths. Please keep this meeting in your prayers that the LORD will do a great work in the Rockwell area the next couple of days.

According to the Will of God

Romans 8:27
“And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.”

The one tool that every Christian has in their arsenal is prayer. Prayer is what opens the doors of Heaven to allow the Saint of God to do God’s will. It is only through prayer that you will succeed in the Christian life. The verse above shows us several things that will help your prayers.

First, you need God’s help to pray. Verse 26 says, “…we know not what we should pray for as we ought…” This shows that there is a right and a wrong way to pray. We should not pray as we want, but we should pray “as we ought.” The only way we will pray the right way is to ask the Holy Spirit for help.

Every time I go to prayer, the first thing I do is ask the Holy Spirit to help me pray. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me word my prayer as I ought. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me pray in the attitude that I should. I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me in my prayer. Literally, I am asking the Holy Spirit to be my personal assistant as I pray. The Holy Spirit wants to help you, but you must ask Him for He will not intrude into your prayers.

Second, the Holy Spirit will intercede for you as you pray if you ask for His help. It says in verse 26, “…but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” What God is teaching us is that the Holy Spirit will be in the background telling the Father we truly need that for which we are praying. For instance, when I pray to ask God to help with a financial need, the Holy Spirit is in the background saying to the Father, “Father, he needs Your help with his finances.”

Let me illustrate this thought. There have been times when someone has come to me for advice on how to approach someone about something they need. At times I have told them to go to the person in charge and ask for their need, then I will also go on their behalf to assure that person to help. I go because I have more power with the person being asked for help. I assure them that this need is sincere. That is what the Holy Spirit does for us. He has more power with the Father than we do, so as we go to ask for our needs, the Holy Spirit also goes and intercedes to assure the Father that we need that prayer answered.

Third, Jesus also intercedes according to God’s will. The verse above says, “…because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.” The key is God’s will. You will never get the help from the Holy Spirit and Jesus unless you pray according to God’s will. Your prayers should not be self-centered, but they should be centered on God’s will. There is nothing wrong with telling the Father what your will is, but you should assure Him that you want His will to be done. This is what opens the doors to answered prayers. When you pray according to the will of God, and the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ intercede for you, then you will see your prayers being answered.

Friend, you don’t have to pray alone. You have two people who want to help you to pray, but you must ask for their help to intercede for you. I encourage you to specifically ask the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ to intercede for you every time you pray. You will find that They will help you to pray right, but you will also find more of your prayers being answered because They help you to pray according to God’s will.

Just Enjoy the Fishing

by: Rick Walter

Matthew 13:47-48, “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a net, that was cast into the sea, and gathered of every kind: Which, when it was full, they drew to shore, and sat down, and gathered the good into vessels, but cast the bad away.”

Jesus is teaching the disciples and He once again uses the illustration of fishing. In this illustration we can picture a fishing boat out on the sea and with its nets in the water. At the close of the fishing day, the fishermen draw their nets into the boat and head to shore. Once they get to shore, they begin the process of sorting the fish that they caught. Some were good and some were bad. They kept the good fish and cast the bad fish away.

Many times we go “fishing” for the Lord and we want to decide which fish should get in the net and which ones shouldn’t. We try to decide whether someone will listen to the Gospel or not. We try to decide whether someone will get saved or not. We try to decide if someone was sincere or not. That is not our job. Our job is to go fishing.

I love fishing for trout. Sometimes when I fish for trout I catch one that isn’t the legal size and I have to throw it back. Sometimes while I am trying to catch trout, I catch a bass. I am not after bass so I throw it back. Sometimes I catch a perch but I am not after perch, so I throw it back.

The fun of fishing is the fishing. I don’t care that I caught a bass. I just care that I caught a fish. I don’t want to keep the perch, but at least I caught a fish. If I could, I would make sure that all that ever bit my hook were trout, but that would cut down on the number of fish I catch and then fishing wouldn’t be as fun as it could be.

Sure, we would like to catch “real” fish. We would like to get the ones that we can keep. We would like to catch the ones that we could use for the future. If those were the only fish we caught, we wouldn’t catch very many. Our job is to simply go out and enjoy fishing.

You may catch some that end up getting thrown back, but at least you had the experience of catching one. You may catch some that aren’t the right size, but at least you got to reel one in. Our job is to simply go fishing and enjoy it and let God do the sorting. I’m not saying that those who profess Christ out soul winning are not saved, all I’m saying is that you just need to enjoy fishing for the souls of men and not get wrapped up in whether they really meant it.

I get excited every time I get a nibble on the hook. I do not care what it is that is nibbling on the bait, I just want to catch it. I know that it is probably a bluegill that I will throw back, but you won’t hear me complaining because I caught the wrong fish.

Let’s go out and have a good day fishing and hopefully at the end of the day we will have some to bring home with us. Just enjoy the fishing. It really is fun.

Rick Walter
Pastor
Victory Baptist Church
Winthrop, ME

Detrimental Steps to a Hard Heart

Romans 2:5
“But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God;”

What would cause a person to go from being a sweet Christian to someone who is bitter and hard and wants nothing to do with Christianity? If you have been saved for any length of time, you have unfortunately seen someone take these steps. What is scary is that there are many Christians who are on the pathway to having a hard heart and they don’t know it. Having a tender heart is imperative to God working in your life and keeping a close relationship with Him. Romans 2:5-9 shows us six detrimental steps you can take that lead to a hard heart.

Anguish is the first step towards a hard heart. It all starts with heartache and the anguish or pain you feel from the heartache. It is always natural to experience anguish during times of heartache, but you must be careful that you allow the Holy Spirit of God to heal that pain, for if you don’t you will start taking the next step towards a hard heart.

The next step a person takes is tribulation. Instead of taking the heartache and using it to help others, they start enduring it. It becomes their tribulation. Yes, you may have to live with your heartache, but you don’t have to make it a constant tribulation. You can accept it as Jesus accepted His cup, and use it to help others around you.

The third step is wrath. This is when the heartache starts affecting a person’s attitude. This step is dangerous because they begin to lash out at others. Other people don’t even realize what a person is enduring, but they become the source of attack from the person who is hurting. You must be careful when you are going through heartache that you are not filled with wrath and lash out at others.

The fourth step is indignation. This is where are person becomes indignant because when others try to help them, they become angry thinking they truly don’t understand. Friend, don’t become indignant with those who are trying to help. They may not truly know what you feel, but at least they care enough for you to try and help or comfort you.

The fifth step is unrighteousness. At this step a person has given up. They feel that it is useless to continue to serve the LORD, so they start living a sinful life not realizing that they are not making things better, but they are making things worse. Heartache is not an excuse to sin. Never let your heartache drive you to unrighteousness.

The sixth step is being contentious. At this step you challenge everyone and what you used to believe. At this point is where you have a controversial attitude towards the principles of the Scriptures. Many people who have compromised the faith and are contentious towards those who still stand are people who are simply hurt and didn’t handle their hurt right.

Friend, when you take these six steps, you will eventually end up with a hard heart. It all starts out with not handling your hurt properly. Don’t let your hurts from life drive you to a hard heart. Daily ask God to help you keep a tender heart and to teach you through your heartache. Only God can help you through your hurts, and His help is the cure for your heartache. Don’t let the hurts you face break you, rather let them become tools you use to help others.

Burying Your Head in the Sand

Acts 20:20
“And how I kept back nothing that was profitable unto you, but have shewed you, and have taught you publickly, and from house to house,”

One of the common responses I get when I write a pointed article on a societal sin or preach a hard sermon against sin is that I should be more loving in my preaching. It is always amazing how the buzzards come out to pick apart an article or sermon by saying that I need to be more like Jesus and write an article or preach a sermon of love.

Paul said in the verse above, “I kept back nothing that was profitable unto you…” What Paul considered profitable and what the enemies of old-fashioned preaching considered profitable I am sure are two different definitions. Yet, when you read the Apostle Paul, he preached to help the hurting, but he also preached to expose sin. Both types of preaching are profitable for a Christian and are important to them becoming what Christ wants them to be.

As a Christian, you must be careful that you don’t only listen to sermons that pat you on the back, but you listen to sermons that are profitable for all of your needs. As a preacher, you must be careful about not only preaching sermons that seem to make people like you, but preach the sermons that are profitable, and profitability may mean that sometimes you have to expose or rebuke sin.

Friend, burying your head in the sand about sin does not help you or anyone else. Burying your head in the sand does not make sin go away. Yet, that is what most people want, and that is what many preachers do with their preaching. Burying your head in the sand only causes the problem to get worse. As much as you may enjoy the feel good side of profitable preaching, at times we all need preaching that exposes sin.

There are some who may say, “I just think you need to love the sinner and not be so hateful by naming their sin.” That sounds good, but with that mentality we cannot preach against anything. For instance, there are many who don’t like it when we preach against and expose the wickedness of sodomy. They say we will never reach those people by “hating” on them. With this mentality we cannot preach against drugs to reach the drug addict. We can’t preach against adultery to reach the adulterer. We cannot preach against alcohol to reach the alcoholic. We cannot preach against lying to reach the liar.

With the mentality of not preaching against sin but only loving the sinner we are only burying our head in the sand. Friend, if a person never preaches against sin, then there is never a need to get right with God. God gave us the law to show us our need of a Saviour. A Christian will never know what area they need to work on to improve their relationship with Christ without profitable preaching.

Don’t be the type of Christian who criticizes profitable preaching. Always remember that profitable preaching will comfort and encourage, but it will also expose sin and preach against it. Everyone is a sinner, and sometimes what is profitable is not always easy to take, but it is needed. Yes, we need teaching and preaching that encourages and comforts us, but we also need teaching and preaching that convicts us and reveals our sin. It is all profitable, so don’t avoid it. When you avoid it, you are losing a part of Christianity that is profitable for you.

Be Nice, But Don’t Be Weak

by: Laurie Whitehouse

When our daughter Jessica was in junior kindergarten, she liked to wear her little girl jewelry to school–bracelets and necklaces. One day she came home from school and said with a perplexed look on her face, “Mom, Suzanna said that if I don’t give her my bracelet, she won’t be my friend.”

I said, “Jessica, you’re not allowed to give Suzanna your bracelet. Dad and I bought that for you.”

“But she won’t be my friend!”

“If she is really your friend, then she will still be your friend even if you don’t give her your bracelet. Real friends don’t ask for their friends things and then get mad when they won’t give the things to them,” I told her. She seemed to understand, and I thought we had the problem solved.

A few days later, Jessica was really frustrated after school. “Suzanna told me that if I don’t give her my cookies from lunch, she won’t be my friend.”

I realized that I needed to do more than talk to Jessica about this situation, otherwise she was going to keep having a problem. Obviously I couldn’t be there with her at school and stand up to the 5 year-old girl who was bullying her; I had to teach her how to stand up for herself.

I said, “Jessica, I am going to be Suzanna, and you are going to be you. We are going to sit here at our kitchen table and pretend that we are having lunch together. Now this is what I want you to say, when I ask you for something. Say, ‘No.’”

Jessica looked at me and said, “But, mom, then she won’t be my friend!”

“That’s okay, Jessica, because if she stops being your friend, then she wasn’t your friend in the first place. In fact, I’m going to pretend to say to you, ‘If you don’t give me your cookie, then I won’t be your friend,’ and you’re going to say, ‘Then you’re not my friend.’”

Oh boy, this was really tough for such a nice girl to do, but we sat there and practiced.

Me: Jessica, I really like those kind of cookies that you have. Can I have one?
Jessica: No. (She giggled as she played her role)
Me: If you don’t give me that cookie, I won’t be your friend.
Jessica: (She struggled to get the words firmly out of her mouth) Then…you’re not…my…friend.

I could tell it was hard for her to sound firm, so we practiced over and over until she could say those words with confidence. I had to assure her that she was not being mean to her friend; her friend was being mean to her in making demands.

My husband and I taught all of our kids to be kind to others, to make many friends, and to be friendly to everyone, but they all also had to be taught to live by principle. They had to be taught that there are character issues that they should develop, and while we wanted them to be nice, more importantly they also had to be strong, moral, and ethical.

The word “nice” is a very non-descript word that can pretty much mean whatever someone wants it to mean. When I teach English, I try to teach the students to use good descriptive words, I would often use the word “nice” as an example of a weak word. People say:

Have a nice day!
You look nice.
You’re a nice person.
This is a nice meal.

What do people really mean when they use the word nice? If a young man asks a girl to go to a banquet with him, and she spends hours getting ready, and he responds by saying, “You look nice,” she may be a little let down! In fact, she might get downright aggravated!

Niceness is a good quality if by nice we mean kind, good, or pleasant, but the word “nice” can have a weak quality to it. The word nice does not carry the meaning of strength and courage with it.

Did you know that the word “nice” is not found in the Bible one time? The Bible does give many qualities that a Christian should strive for like being good, gentle, meek, kind, temperate, etc. These qualities tell us how our behavior should be toward others, but the Bible is also full of examples of the strength of character a Christian must have. Several times throughout the Old Testament, God calls on the Israelites to “be strong and of good courage.” Living as a Christian in a secular world, we need to hear the voice of God telling us to “be strong and of good courage!” We need to teach our children to be strong and courageous so that others don’t mistake their “niceness” for weakness.

Even children who are growing up in Christian homes need the training from their parents that will teach them to be strong, courageous Christians amongst their Christian peers. Peer pressure in the church and the Christian school is alive and well. The Bible teaches principles from which we as parents can become more specific with our children, and our children need for us to be specific! What are some things that need to be taught to our kids?

Kids need to be taught to say, “NO” to sin–alcohol, drugs, pornography, dirty texting, sending indecent pictures of themselves or receiving pictures like that from others.
Kids need to be taught exactly what sexual behavior is so that they are not deceived into believing that what us older folks call “necking and petting” is biblically unacceptable and is fornication. An example we gave our kids that drives this point home is that if they were married and found out that their husband or wife was kissing (or any other sexual behavior) someone else, would they consider that behavior to be sexual? If it’s wrong to practice that behavior while married, then it’s wrong before you are married.
The Golden Rule NEEDS to be taught to our kids: Matthew 7:12, Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: Kids need to be taught that they should treat others like they want to be treated. For some reason, many kids and adults alike have a hard time putting themselves into another person’s shoes. They never develop empathy for others, so they develop a callousness of the soul that causes them to treat people in unethical and immoral ways. Many times throughout a child’s life he should be asked, “Would you like to be treated that way?”
Kids need to be taught not to cheat, not to steal, and they need to be taught to be responsible with money. They need to be given different scenarios so that they learn how to be ethical and responsible in society. We have often talked with our kids about what we would do if we found a wallet with money. Our kids know that the right thing to do is to take the wallet to the police department and turn it in. What should they do if they find a $20 bill by the side of the road? After looking around and making sure that the money doesn’t belong to someone within sight, they then become $20 dollars richer!

There are so many more things to be taught that young people need to know and learn. Parents need to watch for every opportunity to teach their kids to be strong, moral, ethical, and courageous Christians who are anything but weak in their everyday Christian living!

Laurie Whitehouse
Wife of Dr. Daryl Whitehouse, Dean of Students at Commonwealth Baptist College
Lexington, KY