Deuteronomy 7:10
“And repayeth them that hate him to their face, to destroy them: he will not be slack to him that hateth him, he will repay him to his face.”
Confrontational meetings are uncomfortable for both those watching it and for the one’s involved. If you have ever watched a panel get in an argument, you cringe inside as you watch the confrontation. When you have to confront someone over a disagreement or wrong, it is one of the most uncomfortable feelings you can have.
As uncomfortable as confrontational meetings are, you cannot avoid them. In the verse above, you find that God believes in being confrontational. Notice that God says, “And repayeth them that hate him to their face,…” Yes, God wasn’t going to deal with the sins of Israel in a cowardly fashion, but He knew if He was going to judge them, then He needed to approach them to their face. God didn’t send someone else to do His dirty work. He did it Himself. He didn’t write a letter to deal with the confrontation. He handled it “to their face.” God knows the importance of dealing with differences in a confrontational way.
There is a right way and wrong way to handle confrontational matters. Unfortunately, I have had to deal with many issues in a confrontational way, and I have learned some good and bad ways of handling these issues. Let me give you some thoughts on how to handle confrontational meetings.
First, don’t be cowardly with disagreements. In this digital age in which we live, I have found many people are very cowardly in how they handle disagreements. They will send emails or texts to handle issues that need to be handled face to face. This is the cowards way out. You need to handle issues about which you disagree face to face.
Second, predetermine how you are going to handle the matter. Don’t go into a confrontational meeting without determining how you will handle every action, reaction and question. You literally need to be sure that you try to know the answer to every question or accusation that will be thrown at you before you go to the meeting.
Third, don’t let their reaction determine your disposition. Confrontational meetings are tense by nature, so you must determine that you are going to stay calm throughout the whole meeting. Just because they lose their cool does not mean you should lose yours. Always go into a confrontational meeting determined to stay calm. If you do react in a wrong manner, then apologize for having the wrong attitude.
Fourth, don’t deal with issues in a confrontational meeting that have nothing to do with the purpose of the meeting. The classic way many get out of these meetings is they deflect the meeting into another area that has nothing to do with the issue at hand. Always stay on topic and settle it before you leave.
Fifth, it would be wise to go into a confrontational meeting with a witness. I do not believe it is wise to go alone. A witness will keep you acting the way you should, and they will keep things from being said that are just not true.
Sixth, always begin a confrontational meeting in prayer. This will take the edge off of the meeting. Getting God involved sets the spirit in a right way for the meeting. This helps you to keep it in the spiritual realm and not in the fleshly realm.
These six things have helped me when I have to deal with confrontational meetings. Certainly, there can be other suggestions that will help, but I believe if you will use these six things, you will find most confrontational meetings won’t be as uncomfortable as they could have been.