Old Paths Journal – Page 8 – A Christian Magazine with a Relevant Message

Getting Your Prayers Answered

Matthew 21:22
“And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”

One of the greatest needs for every Christian is to get their prayers answered. Oftentimes, many Christians stop praying because they believe their prayers are not being answered when in reality God will answer their prayer if they would just follow His prerequisites to get them answered. Verse 21-22 give several guidelines to getting prayers answered.

First, don’t limit your prayers. The verse above says, “And all things…” Don’t fall into Satan’s trap believing that you should only pray for the “important” things. Let me ask you, what situation in your life is not important? Everything is important, and God wants you to pray to Him for “all things.” Just like a child doesn’t qualify what they ask their parents for, neither should you put a limit on what you are willing to ask God. God is as interested in the “little” prayer as He is in the “big” prayer. God can answer the prayer that we think is trivial as much as He can the prayer of major significance. Many “big” prayers are situations that we tried to work out on our own because we didn’t think to go to God about the circumstance when they were smaller. Don’t limit what you ask God for; ask Him for “all things.”

Second, praying is the best way to get prayers answered. I know this seems obvious, but most people don’t get their prayers answered because they simply are not praying. God has designed prayer as the avenue to get things from Him. You will never get your prayers answered if you don’t pray. The power of prayer will never be realized if the closet of prayer is never visited.

Third, believe that God can answer your prayer. The verse above says, “…whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.” You will notice that there must be a belief that God can answer your prayer. Don’t make your prayer lip service, but actually believe that He can answer your prayer. It is the lack of belief in God that He can answer prayer that causes many prayers to go unanswered. The word “believing” insinuates that you are committing it to God. In other words, believing that you will receive your request is simply committing it to God and walking away not thinking that you have to do something to help Him out. Too many times we are trying to help God answer our prayer, and that is a sign that we don’t believe He can answer it. God mostly answers the prayer when we take our hands off and commit the need totally into His control; it is then that He will get total glory for the answer.

Fourth, faith is the measurement to how much God will answer. Verse 21 says, “If ye have faith, and doubt not…ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.” Your faith will determine how many of your prayers God will answer. Your faith is the size of the container that you are bringing to God. The smaller the container that you bring to God, the less you will be able to see His power work. Christian, stop bringing your smaller containers to God and grab the largest one you can find and put Him to the test. He says that if your faith is large enough to believe that He can remove a mountain; “it shall be done.”

Getting your prayers answered is as simple as praying. Let me encourage you to enlarge your faith and pray, expecting God to answer. “It shall be done” if you will simply bring it to God believing.

Life is Hard; Don’t Quit

by: Carly Goddard

Proverbs 31:31, “Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, ”And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; that ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.”

2 Thessalonians 3:7-11, “For yourselves know how ye ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you; Neither did we eat any man’s bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you; Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an ensample unto you to follow us. For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.”

Titus 2:3-5, “The aged woman likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

All of theses verses deal with the same subject: Working hard.

Life is full of hard work! Whether you are in secular or Christian work, life is just plain hard work. If you want to lose weight it takes time, planning and hard work. If you want to build a house it takes long hours and hundreds of decisions. If you want to be promoted in your job, you’re going to have to give extra hours at work. It’s funny that we can understand this, but it is hard to see why the Christian doing the work of God will encounter hard things.

Why does a marriage thrive or why do children obey their parents? Why does the house get cleaned, fixed or remodeled? Why does the Sunday school class grow? Why do people get saved? Because people work hard. I’m thankful to the many people in my life who have taught me to do hard things. Whether it was cleaning the house from top to bottom, taking care of many small children, working out in the yard or all three at once; I was taught to see it through even though it was hard.

To be a successful wife, mother and Christian lady, you need to work and learn ways to improve in areas that are difficult for you. I used to do my laundry once a week. We now have three children and I cannot wait a week to do laundry. It becomes a massive job. I try to do laundry every day. The weekend is a little crazy and sometimes nothing gets touched until Monday morning, but my goal is every day.

We can get overwhelmed and think that we are not doing a good job. Cleaning bathrooms, mopping floors, vacuuming, detailing kids’ rooms, organizing new books your husband buys (my husband loves books), inputting receipts for the budget, cleaning out the toy box (our kids are always winning something in class or getting spoiled by family), shampooing carpets, painting, raking, weeding, checking to make sure the animals (rabbits, chickens, and dog) have been fed and cleaned up after. Not to mention all the personal upkeep of everyone in your home with doctors, dentist, baths, two different years of chemo treatments, multiple surgeries, hospital visits (Josh was in for 4 days and another time 6 weeks), school, piano lessons, candy sale (32 boxes which is 960 candy bars). (My husband is in charge of the Teen Department and I teach 7^th-grade girls.) We go to the nursing home twice a month and hold services with some teens and our family. These teens come to our house once a month and eat. We have teen activities once a week. We have a lot of workers that do an amazing job, but sometimes we do the food for activities or special Sundays.

I hope you understand that life is hard work. To tell you that I feel like I am doing an amazing work for the Lord every day would be a lie. To tell you that I wake up every morning and jump for joy at the thought of being a mother of three precious children and a wife to a wonderful, Christian man who loves his family and the Lord would be exaggerating. To tell you that I am excited to go out witnessing every time I go would be far from the truth. BUT, I should be this type of lady! I have so much to be grateful for in being a wife, mother and Christian. Why am I not very excited every time? It’s hard work! The difference between the happy Christian wife and mother and the frustrated one is that one perseveres and the other gives up.

I want to enjoy the work I do. Instead of looking at the work as a chore, I have to remind myself that Jesus gave me this very important job. Only I can do this particular work, no one else. Stop a couple of times throughout your day and remember that those people who live with you are your family. You only have a little bit of time with your kids. You really don’t know how much time you have with any of them. If you need help with a certain area of your life, get help from someone who knows how to do that specific thing well. I have learned so much from people I go to church with. There are so many people who are responsible for any good that comes from me. God uses people to help people. I am indebted to both my family and my church family for teaching me how to work hard. We must teach the next generation to work hard. Our country is suffering because people have the idea that life should be easy. No doubt this teaching comes from Hollywood movies and worldly heroes. We cannot teach anyone if we ourselves fail to work hard and improve the areas that we find more difficult. Thank you to those of you who are called mom, wife, or Christian worker. You are making a difference in someone’s life and in that you are doing an amazing work for the Lord!! Don’t quit – Keep up the good work!!!

Carly Goddard
Youth Pastor’s wife
Wildomar, CA

Don’t Be Sleeping On Your Watch

Matthew 13:25
“But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.”

Several years ago, I worked for a package delivery company. Every night when we came to work, we had to walk past a guard station and show our identification badge to get on the property. Several nights in a row when we came to work, the guard inside the security station was asleep. It became a joke to those with whom I worked how safe we felt with that guard sleeping on his watch. What was a laughing matter to us could have been a dangerous matter had someone who wanted to do something wrong walked past that guard station. The guard was putting others at risk because he was sleeping on his watch.

In the verse above, Jesus told a parable about a man who sowed “good seed” in his field. The verse above says, “But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.” Something is often missed when we read this parable. Every field had a watchman who was supposed to guard the field from the enemy. Apparently, the watchman was asleep on his watch, and that is why the field had tares. The tares would have never been sown had the watchman been awake.

Children are the field of every parent. Every parent must be careful that they are not asleep on their watch. The Devil is your child’s greatest enemy who you must guard against. If you are asleep on your watch as a parent, he will use influencers to sow tares in your child’s heart. Three thoughts can be learned from this parable about sleeping on your watch.

First, realize there is an enemy out to destroy your children. Parent, you cannot be asleep on your watch because there are people who will destroy your children if you are not parenting as you should. It is your responsibility to be sure your children are insulated from those enemies who would sow tares of wrong deeds and thoughts in their heart.

Second, it doesn’t matter how good the seed is if you are sleeping on your watch. You can teach your children the right thing, but if you are not watching who is influencing your children, you will be surprised one day when you start seeing the tares reveal themselves in their actions. You are going to have to watch their friends, teachers, and any other influence if you don’t want to have the seed of tares sown in their hearts. This means that you are going to have to be an active part of their lives to guard them from tares. You will regret being asleep on your watch when they become adults and the tares reveal themselves in their life.

Third, when you see the blade of tare spring forth in your child’s actions, quickly find where that influence came and remove it. There are going to be times when your children are influenced by an enemy, but don’t let it continue when you see the blade of tare reveal itself in their actions by the rolling of the eyes or a rebellious attitude. Do your job to find who is influencing them, and get that influence out of their life. It is better to remove the influence when it’s a seedling than it is when the tare has taken root in their heart.

Parent don’t be asleep on your watch. The Devil is the enemy who uses influences to sow tares in your child’s heart. Stay awake on your watch and ask the Holy Spirit to help you see those enemies who want to sow the tares in your child’s life so you can keep them from influencing your child.

Divided We Fall

Matthew 12:25
“And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand:”

The dialogue from the verse above all happened because the Pharisees accused Jesus of having a devil. Why did they accuse Him of this? Because he cast a devil out of a man and they didn’t like that He was getting more recognition than them. They were jealous of his fame, and they thought He would take their power away from them.

Jesus’ response to these leaders was that if He were possessed with a devil, though He cast out a devil, he would be fighting against Himself. He further explained that a “house divided against itself shall not stand.” Jesus was explaining that a kingdom or house that is going to stand must be united in what it is doing.

There are many dynamics in the home that can divide it. Satan will do everything in his power to use those dynamics to divide your home. You must be careful that you protect yourself from those things that will divide your home if you are going make it a place of harmony. Let me show you several things you must guard against to keep your home from being divided.

First, you must guard against opinions and preferences. The home is made up of many opinions and preferences because every person in the home is made differently. You must be careful that you don’t allow your home to become a place of strife because of preferences. You are going to have to learn that at times you are going to have to defer to the other person and allow them to have their way. Don’t let your home be a place that is filled with strife all because of opinions or preferences.

Second, you must guard against different directions. What I mean by this statement is that many homes have become divided because of goals. When a husband and wife both work, they can easily become divided because of their careers. You cannot allow your careers to come between you. It is better to live on less than to have plenty and be divided. My friend, watch that your home is not a place where division sets in because your careers come between you.

Third, you must guard against activities that divide the home. In some homes, people get so wrapped up in outside activities that they never have time to enjoy each other. Be careful that hobbies, clubs or sports leagues don’t divide the home. I know that in today’s society these things seem to be prevalent, but they are not needed to have a happy family. Many families years ago never had all the activities that we have today, and they were happy. Always remember that every activity with which you get involved has the possibility of dividing your home.

Finally, don’t allow your home to be divided spiritually. Be sure that your home is a place where everyone serves the LORD together. There are some homes that everyone is so busy serving the LORD apart that they never see each other. I know it is not always feasible to serve together, but do your best to serve the LORD together as a family.

Life is short, and the home is one of those places that is to be a refuge from the world. Guard against anything that would divide your home. It is better not to do what divides the home than to do it and live in strife and discontent.

Maximizing Your Time

Psalm 90:12
“So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”

Everybody has the same amount of time each day and every week, yet some tend to get more done with their time than others. There is a simple reason for this, and that is that some maximize the time they have and others don’t. It all comes down to what you do with your time.

The verse above says, “…teach us to number our days…” The reason the psalmist said this is because he mentions in verse 10, “The days of our years are threescore years and ten…” He understood that life is short, and you only have so much time on this Earth to accomplish something worthwhile. If you are going to accomplish something worthwhile, you are going to have to number your days. What does it mean to number your days?

First, numbering your days means you should live by schedule. One of the definitions of the word “number” is “appointed.” In other words, you should have appointed times that you do things. You will never maximize the time you have each day without having a schedule by which you live. A schedule keeps you from wasting time. Those who live without schedule are those who unknowingly waste a lot of time. You will never realize how much time you waste until you start living by a schedule. I would challenge you to try scheduling your day for the next couple of weeks and see how much you accomplish during that time. I am confident that you will find at the end of that time that you will discover you have accomplished more than you have in a long time. You will never maximize your time without a schedule.

Second, numbering your days means to prepare ahead. Another definition of the word “number” is “to prepare.” One of the reasons many people lose time in their day is because they are unprepared. Preparation is a time saver and stress reliever. Preparation will never be done if you don’t learn to live by schedule. A schedule demands that you start preparing ahead. Living by the last minute is simply saying that what you are doing is not important enough to prepare. Is it not interesting that we plan for that which we consider important? Mind telling me, if life is short and you want to maximize your time, why don’t you realize the importance of planning for everything? My friend, life can become much more enjoyable if you will learn to prepare by planning ahead. It simply takes the wisdom to stop and look at what is coming up, and plan for it before it comes. You will discover that you have better ideas and more ways to accomplish things if you learn to plan ahead because you have time to cultivate ideas in your mind.

Third, numbering your days means to live your life in such a manner that you don’t have regrets. Sin will rob you of time that you could have used for something more profitable. Sin is one of the greatest time-wasters and life-robbers. Many people who chose to do something wrong live to regret that time. You will never have to look back in regret if you don’t choose to do something that is regrettable, and sin is always a regrettable act. Don’t waste your time on sin; it will always bring you to the point of regret.

Are you numbering your days? You only have so much time to do something on this Earth; eternity is not that far away. With this in mind, make the most of your time by numbering your days, and you will find the time you spent on this Earth will have been maximized with accomplishments.

The Blessing of the Other Side

by: Dr. Allen Domelle

Matthew 5:12
“Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.”

In Matthew 5:1-12, Jesus preached His famous sermon on the beatitudes. In this sermon, Jesus goes through a list of attitudes that you can choose to have. It is interesting that Jesus starts each attitude off with the words, “Blessed are…” After He says who is blessed, He shows how to be blessed.

Jesus formula for blessing is by experiencing the other side. Let me show you what I mean. Jesus says before you are comforted, you will have to mourn. He says, before you inherit the earth, you are going to have to be meek. He says, before you are filled, you are going to have to “hunger and thirst after righteousness.” He says, before you can obtain mercy, you must be merciful. He says, before you can “see God,” you must be “pure in heart.” He says, before you can be called the “children of God,” you are going to have to be a peacemaker. He says, before you can have the “kingdom of heaven,” you are going to have to be “persecuted for righteousness’ sake.” He says, before you can rejoice, you are going to have to be reviled, persecuted and maligned for His name’s sake. In other words, you will never enjoy the blessed life without first experiencing the other side. There are three lessons you must learn about the other side.

First, the other side of hardship is the precursor to blessing. When you find yourself going through hard times, always remember that this is the breeding ground for blessings. God desires for you to have these things, but His blessings are always found in hardship.

Second, your attitude in trials determines your destination in harvest. When the hard times come, what you determine to do is what determines the outcome of your trials. For instance, what your attitude is like when others wrong you is what determines whether you receive mercy from others. What your attitude is like when you’re lacking is what determines whether you are filled. My friend, attitude is important to God’s blessings. You must have a merciful attitude if you want others to be merciful to you. You must have the attitude to determine to be at peace with others, even if you are wronged, if you want others to see you as God’s child. You will never live the blessed life with a bad attitude in hard times. The blessed life only comes through having the right attitude in hard times.

Third, focus determines attitude. The verse above says, “Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven…” Notice that your focus of rewards cannot be temporal, but they must be eternal. If your focus in life is what you get on this Earth, you will be highly disappointed with the Christian life. You must by faith believe that there is a Judgment Seat where you will be rewarded for how you life. One of the things that has kept me going throughout the years as an evangelist is that I realize that my rewards will come in Heaven. The only way you will be able to live a life of rejoicing is by keeping this attitude that your rewards are “in heaven.”

The next time you are facing trials, remember that God is about ready to send blessings your way. One of the keys to getting to the blessing is not to give up. If you will stay focused on the eternal reward, keep a good attitude by helping others, you will keep going and discover the blessed life for which you are searching.

Losing What You Don’t Like

Psalm 81:11-12
“But my people would not hearken to my voice; and Israel would none of me. So I gave them up unto their own hearts’ lust: and they walked in their own counsels.”

God eventually got fed up with Israel and their constant complaining and straying from how He wanted them to live. They came to a point in their history where they wouldn’t listen to His Word through the mouths of His prophets, so God chose to let them do what they wanted to do. The problem with this is that they lost what they didn’t like. What they didn’t like about God’s ways is what made them who they were and gave them the strength as a nation. They lost what they didn’t like, but they didn’t like what they got. Israel should have been content with what they had because what they didn’t like is what made them happy.

A great lesson can be learned from the verse above. Marriages, children, employees, Christians, church members and citizens often complain about what they don’t like, but if they lost what they didn’t like they wouldn’t like what they got. For instance, a person may not like something about their spouse, but if their spouse changed, they wouldn’t like what they became. Let me give you three thoughts to think about.

First, what you don’t like is what makes you like. You may not realize it, but the thing you don’t like about a person is what makes the person who they are. What you don’t like about your spouse is part of the ingredient that makes them who they are. What you may not like about your church is part of the key ingredients that makes it what it is. In every recipe, there are ingredients you won’t like, but you will change the product if you took out the disliked ingredient.

Second, if you changed what you don’t like, you wouldn’t like what you got. If you were successful in changing that area of your spouse that you don’t like, you wouldn’t like the spouse you got in return. Many people have been successful in changing the part of their spouse they didn’t like, but they didn’t like what they became because it changed who they were. Changing the makeup of a person will change who they are, and who they are is what you like.

Third, don’t change what you don’t like because you may lose what you don’t like. You better be careful about constantly nagging your spouse about changing who they are because you may lose what you don’t like. You may try to change them so much that they just get tired of putting up with the nagging, and you may lose them to another person. What you don’t like about your pastor is exactly what you like about him. If you change what you don’t like about him, you will lose what you like. You better stop trying to make everything and everyone into what you think they should be. You are not God, and you can’t see how what you don’t like is part of the ingredients of what you like.

Let this be a reminder to be content with what you have. Stop trying to change what you don’t like about your spouse because you probably won’t like what you get if you’re successful. Instead of trying to change others, work on yourself and change what you need to change about you. You have enough to change about yourself that you can stay plenty busy for the rest of your life.

Don’t Settle Down

Zechariah 1:12
“And it shall come to pass at that time, that I will search Jerusalem with candles, and punish the men that are settled on their lees: that say in their heart, The LORD will not do good, neither will he do evil.”

One of the common statements I heard people say about me when I was a young preacher was, “You will settle down.” Many people said this about my preaching because they didn’t like the forwardness and style of my preaching. They felt that marriage would have a way of causing me to settle down. My desire is never to settle down.

One of the complaints that God had with His people was that they “settled on their lees.” His people had become comfortable with what they attained, and settling eventually led to sin. Their problem was that they lost the drive within to continue conquering, and when they lost the drive to conquer they acquired the taste for the world. There are several reasons you should never settle down.

First, settling down is a direction problem. To settle down is to say that you are no longer climbing to new heights. This goes against God’s desire for the Christian. God’s desire for the Christian is to move forward constantly because He is a forward moving God. When Israel chose to settle on their lees in the wilderness, God punished them by making them wander for forty years without going into the Promised Land. You will never please God when you stop moving forward and settle down. Your direction needs to be a forward direction because a forward direction requires a life of faith. A life without faith is a displeasing life to God.

Second, settling down reveals a heart problem. It says in the verse above, “…the men that are settled on their lees: that say in their heart, The LORD will not do good, neither will he do evil.” Their action to settle only revealed the thoughts of their heart. If they never settled, they would have never said that the “LORD will not do good.” Something wrong is going on in your heart when you choose to settle down. The choice to no longer keep the drive to go forward is only a revelation that your heart has grown cold towards God.

Third, settling down is a God problem. The statement these men made in their heart about the LORD showed that they had placed their heart somewhere else. Matthew 6:21 says, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” If your heart is right, your treasure will be placed in the LORD. When your treasure is placed in the LORD, the drive to go forward will never cease.

My friend, have you settled in your Christian life? Have you stopped going forward for the LORD? Have you settled for less than your best? Is it acceptable for you to do things in a second-rate manner? Have you settled for the dregs or lees of life? Are you okay with what is going on in society? Have you accepted that it is just this way?

The only thing that will change this world is Christians who never settle. It is not an age thing; it’s a heart thing. It is not that you are hurt, it is that you have chosen to settle. Don’t be a Christian who settles. God punished Israel for settling, and you will also suffer severe consequences for settling. The only way to keep from settling is to crucify your flesh daily, yield to the Holy Spirit, and continue reaching the lost for Christ. These three things will keep your heart passionate for Christ.

You Fell! What Next?

by: Dr. Allen Domelle

Micah 7:8
“Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me.”

The confidence that sin takes from an individual who has sinned is one of the greatest contributors that keeps them from recovering. Many people who sin has knocked down sit on the sidelines for the rest of their lives because they don’t believe that they could ever do anything for the LORD again. The verse above disagrees with that mentality when it says, “Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise…” This verse makes it clear that God is not done with a person who has been knocked down by sin. So you fell! What next? Five steps are prescribed to help the fallen make a complete recovery.

First, don’t listen to the enemy. It is clear in the verse above that the fallen are concerned with what the enemy says. The verse says, “Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy…” Every person I have dealt with who is trying to recover from sin is highly sensitive to what others are saying about them. First, most likely most people are not saying as much about you as you think they are. Second, if they are saying anything about you, so what! Stop worrying about what others are saying, because the Devil will use this to keep you from recovering.

Second, get up! The verse above says, “…I shall arise…” You are going to have to determine to get up once you have fallen. Satan would love for you to wallow in self-pity and use the excuse that others are talking about you, but you are doing yourself and God a disservice. Don’t let the embarrassment of sin keep you down. God can’t do anything with you while you lie in self-pity. Getting up is the first step to actual recovery.

Third, grasp hold of the LORD. The reason you fell in the first place is because you left the LORD. The verse above says, “…when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me.” Get back in the Word of God and read it, study it, and memorize it. Set much time aside to talk to the LORD in prayer. Tell Him how you feel and the struggles you are facing. If you embrace the LORD, He will become your light in darkness.

Fourth, accept your consequences. Don’t let the consequences make you bitter. Verse 9 says, “I will bear the indignation of the LORD, because I have sinned against him…” Stop looking at what others are getting away with and accept what you are going through as the consequences of your actions. You will never recover from sin as long as you blame others for what happened to you. You will never recover if you allow bitterness to take root in your heart. Accept the consequences of your actions and move on.

Fifth, don’t quit before the restoration is complete. Verse 9 continues to say, “…he will bring me forth to the light…” Don’t be impatient with the restoration process. You didn’t get to where you were overnight, and you won’t immediately get back to where God can use you again. It is going to take time; be patient with the restoration process, because God has something great for you in the future.

My friend, don’t doubt the restorative power of God’s grace. His grace can restore the fallen if they will follow these five steps. You can see the light again, but you must not quit before the LORD is done restoring you.

PTSD: I’m Free

Hello, friend, my name is Sarge. I was a Recon-scout in Iraq with over 250 combat missions in my last deployment alone. While I was in-country, I grew comfortable with that environment to the point where it was my “normal.” You see, we were maxing out our souls with a heavy burden of guilt with no thought of how the decisions we were making today would affect our soul tomorrow. It didn’t start out that way, of course. It started with stars and stripes in all our eyes.

Upon my return to the states, real fear gripped my heart because I knew I was a wild animal now. Yesterday, I was expected to follow orders to my death and kill if necessary. Today, I am expected to sit in church; be polite, and don’t offend; smile, of course, and tell people, “Jesus loves you.” The Preacher says, “Hello, Sarge. Glad to have you back!” Everyone claps in agreement to say, “We missed you.” The sermon is about forgiving your enemies. By this point, my worst enemy is me. Unbeknownst to those around me, vivid visions filled with the sights and sounds of another world are relived in my mind as the Pastor gives his message. My mind is meditating day and night on bitter memories with no understanding of how to calm the sea of rage inside my soul. Nightmares turned into day and life became numb. My days were filled with high-octane, rage-fueled adrenaline-pumping highs. My nights were filled with depressed suicidal lows. I couldn’t sleep with the internal demonic voices of hopeless defeat, a worthless future, and my helplessness to stop even the smallest attack on my soul. It was getting so bad that I was considering suicide. My wife begged me to seek help; so I did. The church was my first stop. While my Pastor wanted to help, he lacked the understanding on HOW to help me, and one day sent me away in frustration. So, I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb my senses. I knew I could not live this way anymore, but HOW could this maniac I now was be brought into his right mind?

I was desperate. I was without hope. I was considering suicide more seriously. My strong wife begged me to get help. I went to the VA. They diagnosed me with PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. “Disorder,” that word brought new levels of hopelessness to my condition. They rated me and gave me fistfuls of drugs. Twenty percent of all suicides in the U.S. are veterans battling PTSD. More than one a day die from suicide. No doubt the VA thought I’d be dead within 24 months.

It all came to a head on a day when I took three times the recommended dose of narcotics in order to control the excruciating pain from a back injury I had sustained while in the Army. Plus, I took a fistful of anti-depression pills and anti-anxiety meds. Unfortunately, while feeling sorry for myself, I added alcohol to the VA cocktail and compounded the problem. Somehow I got home, because the next day I woke up on my bathroom floor covered in puke. Failure filled my heart. The hurt in my wife’s face was super evident. Looking at my children through bloodshot eyes, I was overwhelmed with defeat again. I remember my oldest daughter, who was 3 at the time, looking at me with such loving eyes and pride in her daddy. I was her hero daddy. I thought, one of these days that little girl is going to have a broken heart when she figures out that her daddy is a drunken, druggy loser. In my exhaustion, I whispered a prayer of desperation in my mind, “God, send me someone who can help. Fix me so I don’t die. Deliver me. I don’t know how to deliver myself!”

The week passed and Sunday came around again. This time I went to a different church in my town that had an RU, Reformers Unanimous, program. RU is a faith-based addiction recovery program. The RU director handed me a book titled, “The Revived Life.” I went home from church and read the first page. The verse jumped out at me, “Oh wretched man that I am, WHO shall deliver me from the body of this death?” (Romans 7:24) It’s a WHO, not a what! I was trusting in all these whats to help me through my battle with PTSD. Church is a what. Drugs is a what; legal and illegal. The VA is a what. Jesus is a WHO!!! I suddenly saw it all clearly. I had not trusted Jesus to heal me. That first simple truth began my journey in the making-me-free process. That was some time ago. I have learned many more truths since then. Deception had enslaved me. Bitterness had demanded meditation and plunged me into despair. The Devil had lied to me, destroyed my life, and almost killed me. Jesus is the truth that makes me free! My new church helped me learn truth through my spirit-filled Pastor and RU director. Jesus taught me the HOW I had been seeking. He taught me that as I received Him, so I walk in Him step-by-step each and every day. It’s all by grace through faith. I trusted Him for my salvation to deliver me from Hell; God’s penalty for sin. Where I lacked understanding was this: I did not know I must also trust Him to save me from the power sin had over me. He is accessible NOW, at this very moment; if we but ask and receive it!

Friend, are you tired? Are you experiencing hell-on-earth and considering suicide. Jesus said He came to give you life, and life more abundantly! It is available right now! Go to Jesus and seek a relationship with Him, for He is the only one WHO can satisfy a hungry soul and fill it with goodness. I have remained sober from all drugs, even my prescriptions from the VA, since seeking a relationship with Jesus with the help of RU. Christ is living through me now. My children are happy. My wife loves me even more than ever, and I am sitting in my right mind in church with no help from the VA drug cocktails. In fact, I went to the VA after the last demon of hell left my soul. I told the VA I was cured, and it was Jesus Who healed me. They expected a relapse in the future because as far as the VA is concerned, what I said is impossible. That’s a lie! I know better. Jesus is able and willing to do what is impossible with men.

What do you have to lose? Without Christ there is no hope!

Sarge