2 Samuel 11:11
“And Uriah said unto David, The ark, and Israel, and Judah, abide in tents; and my lord Joab, and the servants of my lord, are encamped in the open fields; shall I then go into mine house, to eat and to drink, and to lie with my wife? as thou livest, and as thy soul liveth, I will not do this thing.”
One of the more tragic stories in the Scriptures is the story of Uriah and Bathsheba. We often hear of Uriah’s courage when he would not go into the house with his wife because his countrymen were at war, but I believe there is a greater lesson that contributed to what happened in their marriage. Though King David’s contributed greatly to this situation, I believe the marital breakdown between Uriah and Bathsheba enabled this sin.
You know the story of how David saw something he should not have seen, thought about it, enquired about it, and then took it to his shame. To cover his sin, he sent for Bathsheba’s husband from the battlefield. When Uriah arrived at the king’s palace, he gave a report of how the battle fared. David then told Uriah to go home and get a nights rest at his house with his wife, but the verse above showed that he would not sleep at his home with his wife while his men were at battle. This may seem honorable, but it reveals two problems in this marriage.
The first problem was that Uriah’s job was more important to him than his relationship with his wife. When Uriah placed those men on the battlefield above his relationship with his wife, he was telling his wife that she was not as important as his job. This no doubt was not the first time that Bathsheba had felt the shunning of her husband for the sake of his job. She had to know that their marital relationship was not a priority to her husband. I believe this contributed to her willingness to yield to David’s invitation.
Every married couple needs to be careful that they don’t allow anything to come between them. A pastor must be careful not to allow his ministry to take priority over his marriage. Men, no career is as important as your marriage. Likewise, ladies, no job or hobby should take preeminence over the marital relationship. Your relationship with your spouse should be so close that they would never consider a wrong invitation from anyone in the world.
The second thing that caused this marital breakdown was a lack of communication. Bathsheba knew her husband was sleeping outside, but she wouldn’t go outside and communicate her desire for Uriah to come in. You are going to have to keep the lines of communication clear between each other if you are going to have a strong marriage. This whole thing probably started because of a communication breakdown. Don’t let anything keep you from communicating. Digital technology, television, work or hobbies should never take time away from communication. There are times when you need to set these things down so you can communicate with each other.
This tragic story could have been averted had they known this pattern that leads to a marital breakdown. Priority breakdowns will lead to a communication breakdown, which will result in a marital breakdown. If you want to avoid a marital breakdown, avoid those things that will hurt your priorities and the communication in your marriage.