Song of Solomon 5:6
“I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer.”
Keeping someone’s attention is the key to making sure that they get all of the required information that you wanted them to hear. One of the commands I use to train my dogs is “look”. I train them to look because I want their attention. If I have their attention, I know that we are engaged with each other. Likewise, if you have your spouse’s attention, you then can engage in a good conversation.
The verse above is a result of a husband in verse 1 who tired to get his bride’s attention, but she was too interested in other things. One day she wanted his attention, but it was too late because she had trained him to ignore her. I don’t know what caused this disconnect in the communication of this couple, but there was a definite disconnect that led to a couple not having each other’s attention.
We must be careful in our marriages that we don’t become preoccupied with other things when our spouse wants our attention. If we don’t respond, one day we will try to give them our attention but it may be too late as we have trained them to ignore us. There are some things you can do to be sure you have your spouse’s attention when you talk.
First, stop what you are doing when your spouse is talking to you. Lay down your cell phone and look away from the television or computer while your spouse is talking. There is nothing worse than talking to the wall. If you want your spouse’s attention when you are talking to them, then you need to give your full attention when they are talking.
Second, be interested in what they are saying. A spouse can read your body language. Body language is sometimes the loudest language spoken. Your body language is a revelation of your attention; you can’t hide it. If you want your body language to show that you are interested, truly be interested in what they are saying.
Third, don’t belabor the conversation. In other words, get to the point. There are some who say the same thing over and over again only to lose the attention of their spouse. You have to understand that if you don’t give your spouse a chance to engage in the conversation, you will lose their attention. Conversations are a two-way street, not a one-sided giving of information. If you want to keep your spouse’s attention in a conversation, allow them to talk and tell you their interests. When they are talking about their interests, be as interested in what they are saying as you want them to be interested in what you are saying.
Fourth, be understanding when they are in the middle of a project. You are not going to get your spouse’s attention when they are deeply involved in a project. If you see they are engrossed in a project, you might want to wait until they are done so that you can have a quality conversation.
Keeping each other’s attention is not that difficult, but it is an important part of having good conversation in your marriage. Be careful that you don’t train your spouse to ignore you by ignoring them when they talk. Keep your eyes focused on them, listen and interact at the appropriate time. This is one of the keys to having a happy marriage.