Colossians 3:13
“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
You will sometimes hear people say, “Life would be good if it were not for people.” This may be true, but the problem is that interacting with people is part of our daily routine. These people make up all types of personalities and lifestyles, and some of those personalities and lifestyles will seem to clash with yours. If you are going to enjoy life, then you are going to have to learn to get along with others who don’t do things like you, or with others with whom it is hard to get along.
God shows that once a person gets saved, they are to act differently than the world. It was common in Paul’s day for the Jew and Greek to completely avoid each other, but God said that once you get saved that mentality should be put away. He shows us how we can get along with others, even with those with whom we normally would have a hard time relating to because of culture or personality.
First, you must learn to forbear if you are going to get along with others. To forbear mean to withhold from action. In other words, you are going to have to practice restraint in your relationships with others. You must learn that reacting will not help you to get along with others. Many times it is our reactions that cause the greatest strife. The initial action that caused the schism is not the greatest cause that continues it, but the reaction after the schism is what causes the greatest harm. You must learn to be guarded in your actions. You must decide before there is ever a disagreement that you are going to practice restraint.
Second, you must practice forgiveness if you are going to get along with others. You will find that forgiveness is a part of every strong relationship. The marriage that is the strongest is the marriage where both spouses have learned to forgive. The friendships that are strong are the friendships that have learned to forgive. You will find that the strongest relationships are not the ones where no disagreements or hurts have occurred; instead, you will find that hurts and disagreements have happened, but they learned to forgive one another. You cannot carry grudges if you are going to get along with others. If you want to get along with others, then you must decide before the disagreement or hurt happens that you are going to forgive.
Love is the key to make forbearing and forgiveness a part of your life. Verse 14 says, “And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.” Love is the bond that allows relationships to mature. Love will give forbearance when retaliation seems to be the natural move. Love will cause one to forgive when someone hurts you. Love is the glue that holds forbearing and forgiveness in every relationship.
Friend, you are going to be hurt in your relationships. There is no getting around this. The only hope to making your relationships work after you have been hurt is letting your love for the individual move you to be forbearing and forgiving. If you want relationships with others that are strong, then you must make forbearance and forgiveness a part of those relationships. These two actions are the ingredients to holding relationships together until they mature into an inseparable bond.