Genesis 31:2
“And Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban, and, behold, it was not toward him as before.”
Everyone will face strained relationships several times in their lifetime. Sadly, many will simply let that relationship go by the wayside instead of dealing with the issue and making it stronger. Jacob saw that his relationship with his father-in-law was strained, and instead of trying to fix it he left in the middle of the night to go back to his homeland thinking that he would never have to worry about seeing him again. What Jacob didn’t realize was that action further strained the relationship until his father-in-law took the high road to finally restore the relationship.
Denying that you have a strained relationship is destructive. Many people have simply let what caused the strain in a relationship to fester and destroyed a relationship that could have been restored. You know when there is something not right in a relationship with someone, and denying it will not make it better. Acting as if everything is the same when you know it’s not will not fix the problem. At some point you need to stop denying your strained relationship and deal with it.
Moreover, running from the strained relationship is lazy and cowardice. Too many people run from a strained relationship when they could have taken the difficult road of dealing with it and fixing the problem. You can run and think that you will never have to face that person again, but I have always found that at some point you will see them again. This happened to Jacob with his brother and father-in-law, and it will happen with you if you don’t deal with it.
The best thing you can do when you have a strained relationship is to find a way to fix it. Dealing with it head on is the only way to make your relationship better. It is never easy to have to sit down and deal with whatever has strained the relationship, but this is the only way you will be able to move on. Go to the person with whom you have a strained relationship and tell them that you know something is not the same. They may deny it, but you are going to have to be the better Christian and try to solve the problem. I’ve always found the best way to deal with strained relationships is to ask them what you have done wrong. Most likely they won’t want to tell you, but you must assure them that you truly want to work things out.
Furthermore, get whatever caused the strain right with that person. Most of the time we already know what caused the relationship to be strained, and you know you need to do whatever you can to fix it. Don’t try to get them to fix what they may have done wrong, but you need to fix what you have done wrong whether or not they do.
Finally, if you can’t work out a way to fix the problem, then learn to avoid what causes the strain when you are together. Sometimes you must agree to disagree and avoid that situation to make things work out. Life is too short to run from strained relationships. Some of the greatest relationships you will have will be the ones where you face the strained relationship head on and fix the problem.