Matthew 17:15
“Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is lunatick, and sore vexed: for ofttimes he falleth into the fire, and oft into the water.”
For most of my ministry, twice a year I have preached at a boarding school for troubled young men. One of the things that is very obvious to me over the years is that people from all backgrounds have problems with troubled children. There have been young teenage boys from the wealthy as well as the poor in this school. There have been children from influential parents as well as common parents in this home. There have been children from eight years of age all the way to young men of eighteen years of age in this school. Troubled children cross all race and social barriers. Parents who deal with a troubled child are many times at their wits end as to knowing what to do with their child.
In the verse above, there was a man who had a troubled child. He said to Jesus, “Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is lunatick, and sore vexed…” This man’s son was literally insane. This man had seen his son throw himself into fires and even into waters to drown himself. Before you condemn this father, you must realize that this verse infers that this father put his life in danger and saved his son from these situations. He had come to the end of his resources and Jesus was the only hope he had. In this story, Jesus shows us four things a parent must do when dealing with a troubled child.
First, admit your problem. This man understood that denial would not help his son. He had to admit to Jesus that his son had a problem. Certainly, no parent wants to admit that they have a troubled child. Oftentimes a parent won’t admit it because they feel it is an indictment against their parenting skills. Whether or not it is your fault is not the issue at this point, you need to stop denying your problem and admit it so you can get help.
Second, get help from your spiritual leader. This man went to Jesus to get help. Your pastor can certainly give you advice on how to deal with your child. God can give your pastor special insight that you have not thought about, and it would be very wise for you to get help from him as he will not tell others or hold this against you.
Third, have faith that God can get through the heart of your child. Jesus said that one of the reasons this man couldn’t help his son was because he was “faithless.” Don’t lose faith that your child can be helped. No matter how bad off your child may be, you need to have faith that God can get through the hardened heart and change them. When you lose faith, you lose hope. Never lose hope that your child can be reached no matter to what depths they have fallen.
Fourth, spend time fasting and praying for your child. Jesus showed the only way this situation can be changed by saying in verse 21, “Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.” Fasting and prayer shows God how serious you are about your child, and it will empower the parent with God’s power to influence that child. Troubled children will never be reached without fasting and prayer.
Don’t despair if your child is troubled. Take Jesus’ advice on dealing with a troubled child and follow it. Never lose hope for your child, because God can get through their heart.