Proverbs 29:11
“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.”
A person says, “I’m just going to give you a piece of my mind.” This is what a person does when they are upset and want to unload their feelings. They want to tell the person with whom they are upset just how angry they are about them and what they did. I often say that you better be careful about giving a piece of your mind because you might not have a mind left after you are done.
So many relationships are ruined because someone had to give a piece of their mind. They think if they give a piece of their mind that it will make peace, but it does the opposite and most of the time causes irreparable damage and hard feelings that will never be healed.
God says that the person who utters his whole mind is a fool. God understood the human nature to unload in the heat of the moment, but He also understood how it damages relationships. I have watched pastors run off many church members because they quickly gave a piece of their mind. Many marriages have been damaged because a spouse gave a piece of their mind. Many relationships have been severed because one person gave a piece of their mind. There are several things you can do to keep from giving a piece of your mind.
First, wait before responding. You should learn to be an actor and not a responder. What I mean by this statement is that you must not let what you perceive as a wrong to cause you to react. You are better off waiting and knowing what you are going to say than you would be if you simply reacted and said everything that is on your mind. Waiting has a way to allow the heated moment to cool off. When cooler minds prevail, then hurtful words are averted.
Second, don’t say everything that you think. This is what gets most of us into trouble. There are some things that are best left unsaid. Just because you are thinking something doesn’t mean that you need to say it. Some of the things that you are thinking will truly be hurtful and are not needed to be said. Learn to control your emotions and never say everything that is on your mind.
Third, don’t ever write down what you are thinking. We live in an electronic world that makes it easy to respond, but one thing the electronic world cannot do is transfer what you are truly feeling. You may write something, but what you write may not actually come across the same way that you meant it to come across. Meeting with someone face to face is better than trying to solve disagreements electronically.
Fourth, don’t respond until you have had time to hear both sides of the story. One of the most foolish things you can do is to quickly give your mind without hearing both sides of the story. You would be best to ask both sides before giving a piece of your mind. Only responding off one side of the story will cause you to further damage a situation that may be a complete misunderstanding.
Fifth, plan what you say instead of giving a piece of your mind. Friend, you would do yourself much favor by knowing what you are going to say when you are going into a tense situation. Plan your responses and stick with it. Be sure that what you are going to say is exactly how the LORD would want you to respond. A planned response will keep you from giving a piece of your mind.
Many of the divisions we find ourselves in happen because of one person giving a piece of their mind. Yield yourself to the Holy Spirit and ask Him to guide your conversations and reactions throughout the day. If you are guided by the Spirit, then you will find that you will no longer give a piece of your mind which will help you to build strong relationships that will last a lifetime.