by: Sandy Domelle
God created the family unit to enjoy spending time with each other. Fellowship is what encourages and helps keep the bonds of life closely knit with each other. I know there are families that cannot exist in the same room with each other very long, if any at all. If you’ve grown up in a home like this, you hopefully want something better for your children and their families. Our goal as parents should be to keep our family bond strong so that our children stay close as they grow older, marry off and move away. Just because their paths in life may go in different directions doesn’t mean that they can’t feel close to their family.
Creating a family unit that enjoys time together starts when they are young. Yes, I had two brothers and a sister, and we didn’t get along all the time. We had our share of moments, but I still have a lot of great memories from the times we shared together.
What is sad is for many families is that most of the time they spend together is sitting down and watching a movie together. There are so many better ways to spend time together. Finding time to spend together doesn’t have to be an all day activity. There are times when you can run quick errand and do something together that creates memories for your children.
With the technology age in which we live, most people find that texting is their form of communication. I’ll admit, I’m thankful for texting because I have a hubby who travels. We text, email and call several times in a day just to stay in touch, but those shouldn’t be the only ways that we communicate as a family just so we can say that we are spending time together. I know people who have said they text their spouse in the other rooms of the house. This isn’t good! I think it’s important that we communicate in person as much as possible. Texting shouldn’t happen unless you are not in the same place. We have to get away from everyone going to their own areas of the house, sitting with their electronics and forgetting that the family exists.
The Bible says, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3) Spending time together will help you to get on the same page. Spending time together means you need to plan on doing it. Without spending time together, you will find yourselves going in different directions which has destructive results. How can we spend time as a family? I know some of these ideas will make you feel you are back in the dinosaur age, but none of these are so far fetched that they aren’t realistic.
Put puzzles together. We do this often, and we make it convenient by setting up a table that throughout the day we can sit and work on it together. If we don’t work on it for a few days, we can still come back to it later. I know for some, having something like this out is an inconvenience or you feel you are cluttering your home. The older our daughter gets, the more I realize our days with her are numbered. I keep a clean house, but I don’t have to have everything in its place at every moment of the day. I don’t live in a museum, I live in a home. It should be place to enjoy family, relax and feel at home.
Play board games and electronic games together. Yes, I mean, get out those board games and play them. There is so much fun sitting as a family and trying to out smart each other as you play. We own a Wii, and we have games on there that we enjoy playing. I think sometimes we laugh more at the way the game is being played than anything else.
Go for walks together. You know the best thing I love about a walk? It creates a great atmosphere to talk! Whenever we walk together it’s amazing to me how many things we talk about and how many topics we cover on even a short walk.
Do a bonfire together. Fall nights are great for roasting hot dogs and marshmallows outside, but even if you have a fire pit in your yard it can be used year round.
Run errands together. There’s no reason why the family can’t jump in the car for quick errands to the bank, post office, dropping things off or a quick trip to the grocery store. We have a Rottie named, Tydy (Tidy for Roll Tide), that we take at times in the car to run errands. She’s just as much part of the family, so we try to include her when we can.
Go to the park together. The park is a great way to get energy out of the kids, get exercise as you walk around, and we take Tydy so she can play frisbee or ball. By the time we are done we’ve had fun together and are usually worn out!
Read the Bible and pray together. One of the best things you can do together is have devotions together. It’s a great way to talk about things you want your children to learn. If you are having a problem in a certain area, you can look up Bible verses on that topic and read them together and discuss them as a family. It’s one thing to tell your children something is wrong, but the best option is to show them why the Bible says it is wrong.
Sit down together at meals. As busy as life can be with everyone running to and from jobs, school, sports, appointments, etc., having one time a day to sit and catch up with each other is so important. I love sitting at the table and just chatting. Sure we eat, but this is a great time that everyone can just talk about the events of their day. It’s a great time for parents to know what is happening in their children’s lives.
Do projects together. Maybe clean out the garage, yard work, etc., but make it fun! We have timed projects to make it more challenging and fun, and we’ve also had projects that benefited the family so we were excited to jump in and get it done so that we could enjoy what we did. Just because a project involves work doesn’t mean it has to be something dreaded.
Take a family vacation together. It’s so much fun to get away from the regular things of life for a couple days or even a week. I find when we travel we have more talking time, and the memories we create on vacation are usually ones we don’t forget. Sometimes those memories are really fun things we have done, some are crazy things we have done and there have been a few occasions where the memories were how things didn’t quite go as planned.
The things I listed above are just a few basic things you can do as a family. You have many things you probably thought of as you read through the list. I do love to talk about spending time together as a family because you see so many families that are falling apart. My husband and I hear of so many people in the ministry who were married for many years but end up divorced. This doesn’t have to happen! To keep our family unit strong, we need to stay on the same page, spend time together and love each other every day.