Proverbs 18:24
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
Knowing who your friends are and what type of friends they are is important to knowing how much you can depend on them. Throughout your life you’ve had people who you called your friends but today you have no idea where they are. Having friends to the day you die should be a desire you work towards.
The Scriptures teach us much about friends. Having the right friends is important to your future, but understanding what type of friends you have is important in order to know how much you can depend upon them. Let me show you four categories of friends that you will have in life.
First, there are gift friends. Proverbs 19:6 says, “Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts.” There are people who as long as you give them gifts they will be your friend. There is nothing wrong with these type of friends, but you can’t depend on them to stick with you through rough times. Gift friends will stop being your friend when you stop giving gifts. I’m not saying that you should stop giving gifts, but you must be careful about putting much trust into gift friends for they will turn on you when the gifts stop. Gift friends are opportunists. If someone else starts giving better gifts they will be a friend to them. Don’t run from your gift friends, but don’t look for them either. You never know when a gift friend will graduate into a better category.
The second type of friend is a friendly friend. The verse above says, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:…” A friendly friend is one with whom you are acquainted with on a regular basis. These type of friends may be people with whom you work or with whom you go to church. These people are friends because you live your daily lives around them. You should strive to be a friendly friend with most people, because these are the people whom you see daily. Christians should show themselves friendly, but that doesn’t mean you should get any closer than that. One of the quickest ways to determine a friendly friend is to see how friendly they are to you in your absence. Again, nothing wrong with a friendly friend, but you can’t depend on them in tough times.
The third type of friend is a cause friend. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” This is the type of friend whom you discover when fighting for the same cause. A cause friend is one whom you can depend on in the battle because they are in the battle with you; however, if the cause in which they became your friend ever ceases, then they will stop being a friend. If you involve yourself in causes that are lifetime causes, then you will most likely have a friend for life in a cause friend.
The fourth type of friend is a friend friend. It says in the verse above, “…there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Friend friends are one’s who are your friend whether or not you consider them your friend. In other words, you can’t stop them from being your friend. They are not expecting anything in return for being your friend. The only thing they want is to be your friend. These are the type of friends that when everyone leaves you, you will still find them standing with you. This is the best type of friend.
Every person will have each category of friends, but the only friends you should allow yourself to depend on are the cause friends and the friend friends. Learn what type of friend each person is to you and you will save yourself from being disappointed in people. Moreover, understand that a friend friend most likely started as a gift friend. Allow people to move into the next category, for you will never know when you need a friend.