CHOSEN FOR THE “SPECIAL” RESPONSIBILITY
by: Tamra Wenger
GOD HAS A PLAN! I am blessed to be a wife of 23 plus years and the mother of four very precious and special gifts from God, my children. My husband, Joe, wanted me to be a “full time” wife and a “stay-at-home” mom. So, I’m thankful for the opportunity to be able to invest in the lives of my children and to train them up in the way they should go.
While I would love to elaborate on all of my children, let me tell you about our Skylar. We call her our “two minute baby.” We had planned to induce labor for all of our children, but the morning Skylar was scheduled for inducement, she woke me up at 5:30 A.M. by putting me into labor! By the time I got to the hospital, she was born two minutes later. She was so beautiful and everything seemed to be “normal.” Forty-five minutes after arriving, she even pulled my mother’s glasses off of her face.
We were so excited about our new arrival!
As with all of our children, the first few months were a time to begin learning about this precious gift God gave to us. We learned that she was not able to tolerate regular baby formula, and almost a year later we discovered she was allergic to soy milk as well. Through much trial and error, Skylar ended up on rice milk. It was not long before we started to notice that she was not meeting typical childhood milestones. She started crawling when she was about sixteen months and walking about two years of age. Both of which are twice the normal time frame. About the time most kids start saying, “Momma” and “Dada,” our Skylar was still making nothing but baby sounds. At almost fifteen years of age, she still speaks a lot of “baby-talk.” Most children are potty-trained by age five, currently Skylar is not completely there.
No parent wants to admit that their child is abnormal. Going into denial about there being something wrong with your child is common. Some even start playing the “blame-game” to figure out who “caused” this situation and why God would “punish” us this way. Emotions could run high as well as tempers being short. Fortunately, we never went there as through the years God already taught my Honey and me that He is always in control and always has a plan.
For many years whenever we asked, doctors would only use the term “developmentally delayed.” To me, “delayed” meant that she would eventually catch up. I can vividly remember the day that I took Skylar to the children’s hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas. There, the doctors finally gave her the official diagnoses of being “moderately retarded.” It hit me like a ton a bricks. I realized that she was not going to get “caught up” this side of Heaven and that she would depend on my husband and me for the rest of her life. So much for ever being “empty nesters.”
God, through Skylar, has taught us many things through the years. Here are a few things which have helped me the most.
1. We realize that Skylar opens doors. She can open the door to talking to people everyday that we cannot. That is why my husband wrote a Gospel tract with Skylar’s picture on it. We wanted her to have a voice in giving a clear presentation of knowing how to go to Heaven. We let her give that track out to everyone who strikes up a conversation with her. She loves going “soul winning!”
2. We learned to appreciate the “small” things in life. Although everything came easily to our other children, we have celebrated every “little” accomplishment with Skylar. She has helped us appreciate all victories, regardless of size. From her learning to go potty, and or her being able to speak a complete sentence that is relative to the situation. There are times she simply amazes us by knowing a particular word. Even the task of her learning to turn a page in a book was a blessing to watch.
3. Skylar has been our family’s best teacher. When I grew up, I was not around special needs people. Whenever I saw them, I was afraid to talk to them. My children, however, have no such problem talking to anyone, much less to someone special! They have learned to reach out and love on others and to be blessings and encouraging to others.
Being the mother of a special needs child has its own set of challenges and rewards. Let’s stop for a minute and remember that God CHOSE us for the “special” responsibility of being their parents, their voices and their avenues to make their lives count for Christ.
Tamra Wenger
Longview Baptist Temple
Longview, TX