Job 33:1
“Wherefore, Job, I pray thee, hear my speeches, and hearken to all my words.”
Correcting a person properly will give you the best chance of gaining the respect of the person being corrected. Of course, we never know how someone will respond to correction, that is completely up to the condition of their heart, but you can do your best to be sure to correct properly so that you can continue to work together as a team for many years to come.
Though Job was not guilty of the accusations which came from his three friends, he was guilty of pride. After Elihu had heard Job’s three friends condemn and accuse without addressing the issue, he stepped in and decided to show his opinion of the situation. Whether or not you agree with what Elihu did, I do believe that Elihu was wise in how he corrected. There were five things he did in his correction that would benefit anyone who wants to correct properly.
First, he spoke directly. In the verse above, Elihu spoke directly to Job. In verse 3, he also spoke “clearly” when he corrected. It is important when you correct others that you speak clearly about the problem so that there is no misunderstanding. Don’t be guilty of speaking in “code” to them, but clearly lay out the problem so that they don’t walk away wondering for what they were being corrected.
Second, he spoke respectfully. Elihu said in verse 6, “…I also am formed out of the clay.” He made sure that he didn’t speak down to Job, but he spoke with the understanding that he was capable of doing the same thing. It is crucial in all correction that you are respectful of the individual. When you belittle the person who has done wrong, you will lose their respect. Just because they have done wrong doesn’t give you the right to run them down. Always deal with the wrong directly without attacking the offender, and allow them to keep their dignity.
Third, he spoke to build and not to destroy. You can tell that Elihu truly wanted to help when he said in verse 7, “…neither shall my hand be heavy upon thee.” His desire was to build Job through correction. Always use correction to correct something that keeps the individual from growing. When the person being corrected believes that you are trying to build them, they will more likely receive the correction properly.
Fourth, he properly identified the problem. In verse 9, he didn’t avoid Job’s pride, but he clearly repeated what Job said. Whenever you correct someone, be sure to speak factually so that there is no dispute about the situation. This is why it is important that you have all the facts before you start correcting. When you show a person the facts about their wrong, you have a better chance of avoiding arguments and heated disputes.
Fifth, he spoke with a desire to listen. Elihu said in verse 32, “If thou hast any thing to say, answer me: speak, for I desire to justify thee.” Always give the one being corrected a chance to tell their side of the story. To correct a person without giving them a chance to tell their side of the story is unjust. When a person has been given a fair hearing with their correction, they will more likely respond properly and gain respect so that you can continue to help and influence the individual.