Joshua 22:11
“And the children of Israel heard say, Behold, the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the half tribe of Manasseh have built an altar over against the land of Canaan, in the borders of Jordan, at the passage of the children of Israel.”
Many things can damage or destroy a relationship, but one of the biggest contributors is jumping to conclusions. I’ve seen people hear something and instantly correct people without ever giving that person a chance to tell their side of the story. Jumping to conclusions will at best damage the trust in a relationship and at worst destroy it. Many leaders have hurt their ability to lead because they jumped too soon on something they heard. Many friendships have been destroyed because one side believed a rumor and responded without hearing their friend tell their side of the story. This damage to relationships doesn’t have to happen.
The children if Israel nearly went to war with the two and a half tribes because of hearsay. They heard that the two and a half tribes built an altar, and they jumped to the conclusion that they were worshipping other gods. Fortunately, the two and a half tribes didn’t react according to Israel’s reaction, but they were wise enough to explain what truly happened and saved the lives of many people. This would have never happened if they hadn’t jumped too soon. There are some steps you can take to keep yourself from jumping too soon and hurting a relationship.
First, slow down. Your personality may be one that immediately jumps before it has a chance to calm down. You need to slow down and not act in such a reckless manner. Your emotions will hurt a relationship if you don’t allow them time to cool down. You will rarely act rationally with an immediate response. Slow down and let your emotions settle before you decide to move forward.
Second, listen to the other side. Always make it your practice to listen to the other side before you respond. You will find that by listening you may hear an entirely different story than what you initially heard. It could be that the reason someone did something was right, but you will never find out if you don’t stop and listen.
Third, don’t let perception dictate a conclusion. Perception isn’t always right. Perception without information results in a blurred conclusion. Sometimes what you perceive is entirely different from what actually happened. You must not let your perception of a situation dictate anything without taking the time to listen and learn what actually happened.
Fourth, don’t believe hearsay. When someone says to you, “Someone told me…”, it should immediately cause red lights to start flashing in your head because this is hearsay. Even if it is firsthand information, it is still one side of the story. Always take the position that hearing one side is hearsay, even if they say they know it to be true or saw something. You can’t make a proper judgment off hearsay because you have yet to hear the other side tell their story.
Friend, don’t be guilty of responding too soon. Let these steps guide you when you happen to hear hearsay. If you’re approached by someone who’s responding to hearsay, be measured with your response, and do your best not to react as they have. This will help to save a relationship worth having.