The True Test of Love


Revelation 3:19
“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”

My parents were oftentimes criticized by others for how they raised my siblings and me. They were told that they were too hard on us and that they would run us off because of the rules of our household. They were oftentimes looked down upon because they believed that my siblings and I needed to be punished when we did wrong.

The reason my parents were so often criticized was because there is a mentality that says that if you love someone that you won’t be hard on them. Instead of punishing, they say you need to give your children a timeout. Instead of being rigid with household rules, you should discuss the “mistake” with the child instead of punishing them or taking away some liberties.

When I look back at how my parents raised me, I thank the LORD that they loved me enough to rebuke and chasten me when I needed it. Had they not rebuked and chastened me, I would have never learned there are consequences to wrong actions. Had they not rebuked and chastened me, I would have been exposed to hurtful things that would have caused me to struggle throughout my adult years.

God says, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten…” The test of true love is found in the strength to rebuke and chasten when someone does wrong. If someone is not willing to rebuke you when you do wrong, then they do not love you. If someone is not willing to chasten or punish you when you break the rules, then they do not love you. Certainly love is willing to overlook ones weakness to help them, but it does not overlook wrong and let it continue. If you know that something is going to hurt someone and won’t rebuke or chasten them, then you do not truly love them.

Parents, if you truly love your children, then you will rebuke and chasten them when they do wrong. Scriptural chastening is the true test of love. I’m not talking about correcting out of anger, but I’m talking about chastening out of a loving heart. A loving heart has a hard time rebuking and chastening their child, but for the sake of keeping them from destroying their future it will be done. The test of your love for your child is truly determined by whether you are willing to rebuke or chasten them when they do wrong.

Moreover, if a man of God truly loves those to whom he preaches, then there will be times when he rebukes and chastens them in his sermons. A man of God cannot always preach sermons that make people feel good, but there has to be times when he preaches truth that will bring strong conviction on the heart of those who are doing wrong. Is it easy to do this? Absolutely not! But, if you love people, then you will preach truth that rebukes and chastens along with truth that challenges and encourages.

Proper rebuke and chastening does not belittle the one being punished, but it leaves them with their dignity but understanding that there are consequences when wrong occurs. God makes it very clear that the test of true love will include rebuke and chastening. I ask you, are you practicing true love? Don’t close a blind eye to sin, but understand that if you truly love those who do wrong then you must rebuke and chasten them if you are their authority.