Hebrews 8:10
“For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people:”
Whether it is the home, a society or the church, we all want these places to be a place of tranquility. Nobody gets married and has children with the desire to fight, squabble and deal with the pressure of incivility. Nobody wants their church to be a place where the tension is so thick you can cut it because of the incivility that goes on between its members.
God shows us the basics of civility in the verse above. He shows us that you can have peace and tranquility in every place of life, but it will not be done by accident. God’s desire for you is to enjoy life, but you will not enjoy the life experience without following the basics of civility. Let me show you the four basic principles of civility.
First, there must be rules and boundaries. God says, “I will put my laws into their mind…” There has to be clear lines drawn so people know what they can and cannot do. When you drive down the road, you have lines drawn so people know on which side of the road to drive. Those lines are not inhibiting people from enjoying driving, but those lines are there to help keep the driving experience pleasant. You will never enjoy the life experience without having clear rules and boundaries. A parent who establishes clear rules and boundaries creates an atmosphere of civility in the home. You must make the rules and boundaries clear so there is no question as to what is expected. Those rules must be followed if you want to enhance the life experience.
Second, you must have practice and action. God first established the rules, but then He told them to “write them in their heart.” This is simply following the rules. Everybody has to follow the rules, including the authorities. Rules are worthless if they are not followed and enforced. When someone does wrong, then punishment must be given. Every person must be expected to practice and follow the established boundaries, and punishment must be administered when those boundaries are broken.
Third, you must have roles of authorities. It is interesting that God says He would be their God before they became His people. This is simply showing that the roles of authority must be clear. In the home, the parents must establish their authority and the children should follow. In the church, there must be a pastor who leads the people. In society, there must be lawmakers who establish the law, policemen who enforce the law and citizens who follow the law. A clear line of authority always bring peace to a society.
Fourth, relationships are the last thing established. Too many people try to establish a relationship first which only creates the incivility. A parent must be a parent first, and then be a friend with their children; however, being a friend should not be the focus, but it is only the result of following these principles. If you will follow the first three steps, then the relationships in any area will follow.
If you want to enhance the life experience, then these four principles must be followed in this order. Whenever you take these out of their order, you create incivility and turmoil. Each of these in their proper order will create an atmosphere of peace and tranquility which enhances the life experience.