2 Samuel 6:20
“Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!”
How could Michal move from being a wife who protected her husband from her father’s attempt to assassinate him to a wife who disrespected and despised him? This dear lady certainly had a tumultuous relationship with David, but she never really dealt with the fatal mistakes that led her to say what she did to her husband in the verse above. There are four fatal mistakes Michal made that led this marriage to become a marriage that merely existed.
First, she didn’t rejoice in her spouse’s success. David was thrilled that the ark of God was coming to his city. Michal knew that David’s previous attempt failed, so when her husband finally succeeded she became selfish instead of rejoicing in his success. The one person who should always rejoice in a person’s success is their spouse. When one spouse succeeds, both succeed. You must be careful that you don’t become so self-centered that when your spouse succeeds you are jealous of their success. Your spouse needs your approval when they succeed, and that approval will strengthen your marriage relationship.
Second, she didn’t reverence her spouse’s position. David was king of Israel. Though she was his wife, he was still her king. Instead of barking her displeasure about how David danced before the LORD, she should have reverenced him for the position he held. One of the mistakes many marriages experience is the total disrespect of one’s position. Because we live together, we think that their position doesn’t apply to us. Let me remind you that though they are your spouse first, they still hold a position that you should reverence. Don’t ever lose the respect for their position because that is part of who they are.
Third, she didn’t appreciate her spouse’s spiritual victory. Getting the ark of God to this city was a spiritual victory. You should rejoice in your spouse’s spiritual victories. When they learn something from the Scriptures, be excited with them as they tell you about it. When they lead someone to Christ, you should be just as excited about it as they are. Don’t discourage your spouse when they have a spiritual victory because you just may turn them away from serving the LORD which will become a grief of heart.
Fourth, she didn’t know the heart of her spouse. Michal accused David of uncovering himself to the “handmaids of his servants.” If Michal would have spent more time trying to get to know the heart of her spouse instead of despising him in her heart, she would have known the innocency of his heart. The discovery of your spouse’s heart should be a lifelong journey that you never stop seeking. When you stop attempting to know the heart of your spouse, then you will stop attempting to meet their needs.
Friend, these four steps can be fatal to your marriage. Whatever excuse you may have to not avoid these steps is never good enough. You are married to your spouse, and avoiding these mistakes will help your years of marriage to be treasured ones.