Psalms 144:12. “That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters maybe as corner stones polished after the similitude of a palace:”
Training a child to sit in church can be such a big deal that some parents would rather stay home from church than to have to deal with it. Really, training a child to sit in church is not that hard, but it does take work and you must be consistent. Here are some steps to understand and follow that will help you to train your child to sit in church. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
- Training your child to sit in church is no different than training your children in any other area of life.
- Child training is to be done in the home. If you haven’t trained your child to respond to you at home, then they will not obey you at church. Have you trained your child to stop when you say, “Stop”? Does your child come to you when you call him or her the first time? How about, “sit still”, “be quiet”, “pick up your toys” and “go to bed”? These are just a few examples; the list could go on and on. Obedience starts at home. Child training is not the responsibility of the day care. It is not the job of the Sunday school, nursery or jr. church to train or even prepare your child to sit in church.
- Since the home is the training ground, practice church at home. Make your child sit on a chair with hands folded for a few minutes each day. Gradually increase the sit time with a Bible opened and maybe listening to a preaching CD. Better yet, as a family, read the Bible together, no playing, no squirming around, and always make sure they use the bathroom first. Be consistent in your child training. Work at this several times a day if necessary.
- There must be consequences for not obeying. Occasionally, rewards are okay for progress made.
- Train your child in every area, not just for sitting in church. If the child hasn’t mastered simple tasks at home such as obeying, don’t expect them to obey or listen when you’re in front of others. Why should they listen in public if they don’t have to obey at home? Just because they embarrass you when you’re at church is not the reason for them to obey you. If you can’t control them at home, don’t expect to control them at church.
- Don’t be embarrassed when your child tries you in public, but be consistent. If they know in public they don’t have to obey, they won’t. If you have to leave a church service to discipline, do it. The number of times you have to do this will be minimal if you train properly at home. Parent, what is more embarrassing to you, a child acting out in church or the parent that won’t obey God and take care of the situation?
- Don’t allow your child to play in church. Don’t let them play with the song books, offering envelopes or with their shoes. Church time is for church, not play. Do not bring toys, crayons, paper or video games for your child to play with. Remember, “train up a child in the way he should go”. If they need something in their hands, make them fold them on their lap.
- Sit closer to the front of the church, not in the back. If you have to leave the service, always come back in. It is more distracting to a service for a child to continue to misbehave than if the parent just takes the child out and handles the situation properly.
- Don’t let the devil convince you with such thoughts as, “I will disturb the service” or “I will just stay at home, it is easier.” These and many other excuses are all lies. These excuses will hurt or possibly destroy you, your child and your entire family. Another excuse parents use is, “Church is boring for my child.” Church is not boring. The reason people think that is because they aren’t disciplined or trained to pay attention. Train your child to sit still, stay awake and pay attention.
- Don’t be influenced by the world’s ideas on child training. The world’s ideas will destroy your family. Forget the world’s ideas concerning age and attention span, get back to following the Bible. How old should a child be to obey? “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, He will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Bette Owens
Pastor’s Wife
Westside Baptist Church
Pacifica, CA