by: Allen Domelle
Home is supposed to be one of those places that is an oasis from the drama of the world. Home should not to be a reality show that you live out, but it is to be the one place you look forward to going at the end of the day. Sadly, for many, home is a place they want to avoid because of the drama they have to endure.
When you look at the reality shows of our day, you see what the average home is about. When you have the husband and wife constantly fighting with each other, the children squabbling and bickering, the tension between the children and their parents, it is no wonder that home has become the place where most do not want to be.
When God created the home, He also created the atmosphere which He intended for the home. Genesis 2:8 says, “And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.” As a single man, Adam enjoyed the quietness of a perfect world, but he was lonely. So, God put Adam to sleep, “…and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.” There you have the first home in a quiet, sinless atmosphere. There was no drama in this first home. This first home enjoyed the peace of working together and the presence of God daily in the cool of the day.
This quiet atmosphere quickly vanished when Adam and Eve took of the forbidden fruit. Sin entered into the home, peace left and drama began. They had two children, Cain and Abel, who could not get along with each other to the point where Cain plotted to kill Abel. He carried out that plan which caused great drama in that home. Sadly, what used to be a home of peace and tranquility became a home filled with drama. I imagine that Adam and Eve daily wished that they could stop the drama and get back to the peace they once had.
Jacob’s home was another home that was filled with drama. It started when he as a boy he learned how to fill a home with drama from his parents. He ended up marrying two sisters, and the drama that created was enormous. Those ladies squabbled and manipulated their husband and children, which resulted in a drama filled home. The manipulation and squabbling became common place with the children. It got so bad in their home that Joseph was hated by his brothers which resulted in his eventual sale into slavery. That drama followed Jacob to the final days of his life. He never seemed to get to the point with his family where they removed the drama and learned to get along with each other.
You can have a home that is not filled with drama. Your home doesn’t have to resemble a reality television show. You can have the home you once dreamed of before you got married. God wants your home life to resemble the peace and tranquility that Adam and Eve enjoyed before they opened the door to a drama filled home. Let me give you several suggestions on how you can remove drama from your home so that you can have a home filled with peace, tranquility and the presence of God.
1. Keep sin from your home.
Sin is the ultimate reason homes are filled with drama. If you remove sin, you will remove the drama. Romans 6:23 says, “The wages of sin is death…” You cannot allow sin to run through the home and not see death to peace and tranquility. As a husband or wife, you must not allow yourself to become involved in an adulterous lifestyle. It not only will destroy your testimony, but it will bring drama to your home that you never imagined. The world may paint the adulterous life as normal, but they never show you the drama it brings to one’s life and their home.
As an individual you must keep yourself from sin. You can’t commit sin and think that it doesn’t affect others. The tension sin creates in the home will only cause drama. Sin is the very root of all drama. If you want to keep your life or home free of drama, then keep yourself from sin.
2. Keep a clear role of authority.
One of the reasons drama fills the home is because we have lost the proper roles of authority. God established the role of authority in Ephesians 5:23 when He says, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” Notice, the proper role is the husband is to submit to God and the wife is to submit to the husband. I know this isn’t popular in our day, but God chose for the husband to be the one in charge of the home.
God makes the roles even clearer when He says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” (Ephesians 6:1) If the children will obey their parents, and the wife will follow her husband’s leadership, then you will find a home that has no drama. The home must follow God’s role for authority to keep peace in it.
Whenever you leave God’s ordained role of authority for the home, then drama will replace peace and tranquility. You are going to find a drama filled home when the husband and wife are constantly fighting with each other over who makes the final decisions. When the parents allow the children to control the home, then you will also find a home filled with drama. Staying in God’s ordained role of authority for the home is the only way to avoid drama.
3. Don’t play the comparison game.
Don’t allow yourself to compare your home to someone else’s. God says in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” Your family has its own unique dynamics, and you must not allow yourself to compare your home to another’s. Enjoy each other and live according to God’s Word, and you won’t need to compare one to another.
4. Make Christ your central focus.
Another great reason that homes are filled with drama is because they get their eyes off Christ and onto themselves. Our focus should always be on Christ. When we become self-centered and try to make everything revolve around ourselves, then our selfishness creates drama. Philippians 2:3 shows us that Christ must be our focus when it says, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” When you get your eyes off yourself, you will end the drama that strife and vainglory create.
5. Guard family associations.
This reminds me of Amnon who allowed the wrong association in his life which created family drama. If you have the wrong associations in your life, then you will find their sinful influences will be brought into your home. Many homes have lost their tranquility because of the associations of parents or children. Carefully guard your family associations. Realize that associations will influence the spirit of your home.
6. Keep your finances right.
Poor finances will always bring tension into the home. When you have bill collectors constantly calling, you can’t help but become short tempered which results in a drama filled home. If you learn to control your money and live by a budget, then you can avoid the drama caused by poor finances. I completely understand that most people will go through financial struggles, but if you will learn to control your finances properly, then you will have a better chance of keeping the drama away caused by poor finances.
7. Keep life simple!
Proverbs 23:5 says, “Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven.” Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in possessions. The more things your bring into your home, the more complicated your home becomes. Don’t acquire a covetous mentality that you must always have what others have. Keep your life simple, and you will control the drama in your home.
8. Don’t bring the drama from work home.
One of the mistakes many make is that they bring the drama from work home. Let me encourage you to leave the drama from work at work. I understand there are times when you need to talk to someone, but you cannot continually dump on your spouse about what is going on at work without it eventually destroying their spirit. If you have a bad day at work, don’t bring that bad day home. I know there are times you need to decompress from the pressures of the day; however, don’t let your decompression come from losing your temper at those in your home. They didn’t cause the stress of your day, so don’t take it out on them. Leave the drama from work at work.
Home can truly be a place that is enjoyable. If you will guard these eight areas, you will find your home can be a place that is filled with a spirit of joy and happiness. Let your home be that Garden of Eden where you enjoy the peace and tranquility that God intended. Don’t let Satan deceive you into losing your Garden of Eden. Follow God’s instructions and commands, and you will always be able to make your home a Garden of Eden that is drama free.
Allen Domelle is the editor of the Old Paths Journal which is more than just a Christian’s publication. It is an excellent place to learn how today’s headlines will forge tomorrow’s laws and statutes. Keep yourself in tune with what is happening around the world, as well as in your own backyard with our daily updates and devotionals.