Proverbs 19:11
“The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”
There is nothing more uncomfortable than being around someone who constantly loses their temper and blows up in anger. The tension it causes to an atmosphere is tremendous. Everyone around that person who is quickly angered walks on egg shells because they just don’t know when they are going to go off and become angry.
The verse above deals with the person who is soon angry. God says that a man’s discretion will defer his anger. The word “deferreth” means to be postponed. In other words, God says a man who has discretion will postpone his anger. He will use his anger at a later time. Anger used at the right time will prevent future heartache, but uncontrolled anger will hurt people and damage the credibility of the one who lost it. The key comes down to learning to postpone your anger. Let me give you several helps on how to postpone your anger.
First, admit you have anger. Everyone has anger, and if you don’t admit you have an anger problem, then you will become prone to use anger wrongly. Admitting you have anger does not mean that you are a horrible person, for anger can be used for right. God became angry several times throughout the Scriptures and that did not make Him a sinner. If you realize you have anger and know what caused it to flare up, then you can learn how to postpone it when it should not be used.
Second, look ahead and learn what causes your anger. This is important to controlling anger. What may cause you to become angry may not be the same thing that causes me to become angry. Learn what causes your anger. Study yourself and learn what situations or actions cause you to become angry.
Third, be discreet enough to avoid that which causes anger. If a certain person causes you to become angry, then you’d be wise to avoid that person. If at a certain time you are prone to anger, then learn to avoid that time or be extra cautious during that time. For instance, I’ve learned about myself that when I’m tired I tend to get angry much easier. So, when I’m tired, I’ve learned to really watch my anger so that I don’t damage my testimony. You would be very wise to be careful during those times that cause you to be angry. Avoid them at all costs so that you can keep a good testimony for Christ.
Fourth, be wise enough to allow people to make a mistake. The verse above says, “…it is his glory to pass over a transgression.” People are going to make mistakes, so give them a chance not to be perfect. Parents who expect their children to be perfect are parents who will drive their children away. A parent who won’t allow their child to make a mistake is a parent who oftentimes becomes angry. Likewise, leaders must be very careful to allow followers to make a mistake. Leaders must realize that the reason God allowed them to lead people is because He had enough confidence in them that they would allow their followers to make mistakes without becoming angry. Your followers will never grow if you become angry every time they make a mistake. Allow people to make a mistake without getting angry.
Your testimony and the name of Christ is at stake with every action. If you learn to postpone your anger and allow people to grow, you will find that those around you will enjoy being with you and that they will grow more quickly in their weak areas. Daily ask God to help you to be a person who postpones anger and is wise enough to use it only when it is necessary.