by: Sandy Domelle
Being a leader’s wife is not an easy responsibility. As a leader’s wife you are in the limelight whether you like it or not. Things are expected of you that God doesn’t expect from you, but the success of your husband will highly be determined by how you conduct yourself as his wife. Here are just a few thoughts that will help the leader’s wife, but I have no doubt that these areas affect every wife out there.
1. Keep your relationship with God fresh and alive! I learned a long time ago that I can’t make it through my day without the Lord being right there by my side. Every time I have ever tried, my day becomes stressful, hard and ugly! There’s no way that we can neglect our time with the Lord and expect to handle all the things that will take place in a day. Let your time in God’s Word be the most important thing you do in the morning. Whether you are a morning person or not, there’s no better thing you can do than putting some Bible into in the morning. Psalm 63:1 says, “O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;” I’m not saying how early or how much because everyone has their own routine, but getting something in you gives you the spiritual energy you need for your day! Time in God’s Word and prayer are your spiritual vitamins or spiritual coffee boost you need for your day!
2. Love your husband. Genesis 2:18 says that God gave you to him because He knew that you would complete each other. Make sure he knows you are his biggest cheerleader and that you will be the solid constant in his life. You will need each other through the good times and the bad times. The day you got married you felt your love for each other was the strongest ever. Don’t let that be a true statement. I know many couples who seem they’ve grown farther and farther apart as the years have gone by. Your love for each other should grow stronger every single day. There will be times when others are tearing your husband down. Remember that you as his wife have the great privilege and responsibility of encouraging him! Be your husband’s everything!
3. Make sure your children know that your husband is more important to you than they are. Be sure to stand with your husband with whatever rules he makes. It’s sad to see mothers who quietly go against their husband’s behind his back. Your children know what you are doing. Follow your husband and allow him to be the spiritual leader of the home. This may not always be easy, but it is a must in having harmony in the home.
4. Have a love for people. You will interact daily with all types of people, and even in our churches we have people of all different types of personalities. Some people are so very easy to love, but we also have those that make it difficult at times. Have a willingness to love them! Our relationships with people grow through the things we go through together. Weep with those who weep and laugh with those who laugh. Make sure that you have opportunities to knit your heart to the people of the church. Some may make it hard to let you in, but never let it be said that you didn’t continually try. They may not need your love right now, but there will come a day when they need your love, and as long as you’ve worked at letting them know you love them, they will let you in at the moment they need you the most.
5. Be real! I can’t tell you how important this is. Just be yourself with those around you. If you will be who God intended you to be, you’ll always have friends. If you know you have a few things you need to work on, do so. People will love you if you are real and transparent.
6. Be forgiving! We all say things at times we know we shouldn’t have. When someone says or does something to you, be forgiving. You want them to do the same for you, so remember no one is going to be perfect. Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Follow Christ’s example and be forgiving.
7. Be trustworthy. Be sure to guard what you are told. People will tell you things in confidence that you can’t repeat. If someone asks if they may talk to me in private, I always tell them that I don’t keep secrets from my husbands and I assure them it won’t go past the two of us. If they choose not to tell me something at that point, that is their choice, but my husband and I can pray together for the needs or burdens they share with me.
8. It’s not your job to fix everyone who comes to you. You will feel you are carrying a load way to big if you think you can fix everyone’s hurts, heartaches, and burdens. Many times all we can do is be a good listening ear, a good prayer warrior, and a friend who can be there for them. Sometimes, you just have to listen and let God do His work in their troubles.
Helping your husband ultimately comes down to one thing, you being who God wants you to be. These eight helps will certainly aid you to be the lady God intended for you to be.