Proverbs 31:3
“Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.”
The two most important decisions any person will make in life that will impact them their entire life is the decision to accept Christ as their personal Saviour and the decision to marry someone. Both decisions affect this present life and eternity. The decision of whom you marry affects this life and eternity in that whomever you marry will impact what you do for Christ which impacts your rewards at the Judgment Seat.
In Proverbs 31, a father warns his son, “Give not thy strength unto women…” This father spent a whole chapter on showing his son what type of lady he should look for in a wife. He was telling his son that the person he marries can weaken or strengthen his kingdom. Likewise, the person you marry will either weaken or strengthen you in life. My desire is that every single person finds the right person to marry, but to find the right person they need to have some qualifiers they use to qualify someone before deciding to marry them.
First, the person you marry needs to be involved in the LORD’s work. If a person is not heavily involved before you get married, they will definitely not be heavily involved after you get married. They should not get involved in the LORD’s work just because they want to date you, but they should be involved in the LORD’s work before you start dating them. Look at how faithful they are to their ministries before you even start dating.
Second, the person you marry needs to be a worker. If a person is lazy, you will find that laziness will worsen after marriage. Look at how hard they work at their place of employment. Can they hold down a job or are they constantly jumping from one place of employment to another? A person’s work ethic is important to the enjoyment of marriage.
Third, how does the person respond to authority? You don’t want to marry someone who has a problem with authority. You want to marry someone who can follow authority. See how they respond to admonition of authority. If they give any sign of rebelliousness towards authority, then you would be best not to marry that person.
Fourth, look at how they treat their parents. How they treat their parents will show how they will treat you. Let me take this a step further and say that you need to see how they treat your family. If they treat your family with disdain, then you will find after marriage they will never want to be involved with your family. This is detrimental to any marriage. Both families need to be treated properly.
Fifth, determine to see if they are self-driven. A person who always needs someone else to motivate them is a person who will go nowhere in life. Listen to their ambitions in life and see what they do about pursuing them. A person who is self-driven is a person who will normally rise above the average.
Sixth, look at whether they have direction in life. If a person doesn’t know what they want to do with their life before marriage, then they will most likely be directionless throughout life. Every young person should have a dream or ambition to follow the LORD’s will.
Finally, do they have a good personal walk with God? This is imperative to a happy marriage. If a person can walk with God, then God can correct their weaknesses and grow them.
Friend, this is only a short list, but it’s an important list to follow. Every parent would be wise to use this list before giving their blessings to their child to marry someone. Every young person would be wise to use this list to determine whether or not they should date someone. This list won’t guarantee a happy marriage, but it will help you to have one.