Proverbs 21:9
“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”
Home should be one of the most pleasant places where you enjoy being. Home is supposed to be an oasis away from the struggles of the world. It is supposed to be a place of refuge where you can go and decompress from a day of struggle and battles.
Sadly, many homes are not an oasis. Instead, many homes are a place that people avoid because of what they will face when they get there. Sadly, parents loathe the time when their children get home, or children hate the time they have to go home because of the atmosphere in that home. Husbands and wives hate it when they walk in the door because of the unpleasant atmosphere their home has become. It should not be this way.
The verse above talks directly about the home. A father is directing his son concerning what type of lady to look for in a wife. In fact, this father gives his son three things in this chapter that make an unpleasant home. Though this is a father teaching a son, these three things that make an unpleasant home can be performed by any member of the family. Let’s look at these three things.
The first thing that will make a home unpleasant is brawling. The word “brawling” means quarrelsome. In other word, when one person in the home is always arguing about something, then that will make the home unpleasant. There are some people who argue about everything. The reason they argue is because they believe they are always right. You don’t have to comment on everything. It would be best if you learn to move on and not make an issue about everything someone says. There are times when you must stand up, but that is for right and wrong and not for preference.
The second thing that will make a home unpleasant is a contentious person. This is the person who provokes the arguing. This is the person who has a contentious spirit. What we often don’t realize about ourselves is what we portray when we say or do something. You must realize that your attitude can cause contention. In other words, everyone gets real quiet because they just don’t want to have to put up with your griping, complaining or arguing. A contentious person doesn’t have to say anything, many times it is simply their attitude about everything that causes the contention. Be careful of how you say things. You may not realize what you are saying is contentious, but if everyone always clams up when you do things, then you had better look and see if it’s because your contentious.
The third thing that makes a home unpleasant is an angry person. In verse 19, the son is warned about the woman who is angry. Let me caution you about getting irritated about everything. Truly, some people need to relax and enjoy life. When you get irritated about everything someone does, it causes an atmosphere of anger. The physical fighting between spouses and siblings is not acceptable at any time. You are a family, and you should never become physical because of anger.
Friend, all of these things are caused by pride. If you can get control of your pride and not make everything in the home about you, then you will avoid these three things that make an unpleasant home. The best way to create a good atmosphere in the home is to do what you can to please others. This will cause others to start doing the same, and it will create a home that is the oasis from the world. Daily ask God to help you not to make everything about yourself, but to make your life one that tries to meet the needs of others. If you can do this, then you will have a pleasant home.