by: Sandy Domelle
This being the month of February we all tend to focus in on the special love of our life. I love it when I see a significantly older couple walk into church hand in hand. I love seeing pictures of older couples snuggled together on a park bench or couch that have been married for many years. To me, this reminds me that we have strong marriages still in this day and age. The news media and many others want marriage to sound like a lost breed, but I still believe in marriage and still believe in marriage until death do us part.
If we are going to have marriages that last a lifetime, we have to focus in on things that help us as a wife to be what God created us to be for our husband. Here are 10 things that I try to focus on to keep my marriage strong.
1. God first, Husband second. If I concentrate on my relationship with the Lord, it’s going to keep me with a tender heart towards the needs of my husband.
2. Pray for him daily. I do pray that I will be for him what he needs me to be, but I also pray for many extra things for my husband. I pray that the Lord will keep him spiritually strong, physically strong, that he will have a good day, that the Lord will keep him safe, healthy and well. I pray that the Lord will help our marriage to stay strong and much more. I don’t flippantly pray for my husband each day, I really take time to focus in on him with the Lord because I know my hubby leads our home and needs the Lord’s wisdom and guidance for so many decisions. I often think that I pray for my husband more than any other person. There are times I go about my day talking to the Lord about my hubby because I love him, want to please him and meet his needs.
3. Care for him. I love caring for my husband. My hubby travels, and so when he’s home I want him to enjoy being home more than any other place he can be. In caring for him I make sure that when he comes home my home is clean, he has clean clothes, he has good meals and that he is taken care of in every way. If I concentrate on taking good care of him and meeting his needs, I won’t have to worry about him being loved and cared for by some other woman! When men are neglected at home, many times they seek it elsewhere.
4. Communicate. Make sure that you and your hubby are on the same page with everything. There are times when my husband will mention something and I am not thrilled with the idea. I don’t nag, but I will go back to him about the situation and talk to him about it so that I can get a better understanding of what the situation will entail. Communication is also being sure that you find time to talk to each other sometime each day. I know some of you are thinking that’s a no-brainer, but I’ve talked with ladies before that basically have someone living in their home that is called “husband,” but they can go days without having a conversation with him. How sad that is to me! My hubby and I communicate through one-on-one time together, texting, calling, email, etc. Communication definitely keeps a relationship going in the right direction. Once you pull away from your husband with communicating, other things start going wrong in the relationship.
5. There are no secrets. This is something my hubby and I started our marriage with and uphold to this day. Keeping secrets from your spouse is deceptive. Why would you want to keep something from your spouse? If you are doing everything right, then you should have nothing to hide from your husband. You and your husband should always be open with your emails and social networking accounts. My husband and I have access to each other’s accounts and we have the right to look at them any time we want. Furthermore, if you are typing an email and your spouse stops and looks at what you’re writing, don’t get upset because they have a right to see what you are doing. You must remember that God says you became one when you got married. Being one implies that you are one body. Your body can’t hide something from itself because it is always there. Likewise, you should never get upset with your spouse when they look at your emails or stop to see what you are looking at on the internet. Your marriage should be transparent to each other with nothing to hide.
6. Praise your husband. My husband works hard to provide for our family. Because he does so much for us, I often try to praise him for the things he does. Praising someone goes a long way and most will do more when they are appreciated. I promise, if I tell my hubby what a great man he is and butter him up with the praising….and a plate of chocolate chip cookies, I can get his help on anything I need. Praise your hubby for leading your home, for working hard and for helping you with the children. You can praise him in small notes, texts, or emails, but most of all verbally! Let him hear you praise him and praise him often!
7. Be Romantic. Every husband deserves to be loved and thought of by his wife in a romantic way. I’m not going to tell you what ways to be romantic, but I do believe that you should look for those special and thoughtful ways to show your love in the way God meant you to meet your husband’s needs.
8. Submit to your husband. I know this is not one of the favorite topics that ladies like to hear, but this is a command for every wife, and it’s important for the home to run smoothly. Submitting is not doing something when you want to, but it is following your husband’s leadership when you don’t want to and you have the power not to follow. As long as he is not leading you against the Word of God, you are to follow his leadership. You will find that when you submit to your husband that your children will follow you when you tell them to do something. They learn how to follow from you. Be sure to not only submit with your action, but with your attitude as well. Don’t cause grief to your husband when he decides to do something that you don’t really want to do. It’s not healthy for your marriage when you won’t submit to your husband.
9. Don’t take him for granted. One of the hardest things is to lose a loved one to death. It can come by an accident, cancer or other disease, etc. Let it never be that you take your hubby so much for granted that when he is gone you then realize what you really had. Take time each day to think about all that your hubby means to you and does for you and your children. Be thankful for him. I never know when my hubby leaves for a revival meeting if he will return. That’s not my favorite thought, but I do make sure that when he leaves, I’ve hugged him and told him I love him. I don’t want to have any regrets.
10. Be BEST friends. My hubby is my best friend. I look forward to doing things with him even if it’s just running quick errands to a night out with him. When I’m excited about something, he’s the first person I tell. I love spending time with him. Find things you enjoy doing together and be BEST friends.
Proverbs 18:22 says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” If you will take these ten things and practice them, I believe you will have a happy marriage and your hubby will believe he found a “good thing” when he got married to you.