Proverbs 29:15
“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”
One of the hardest things a person will do in life is be a parent. Parenting is not easy. If someone knew the formula for turning out good children, that person would be wealthy. The problem with child rearing is that each child has their own personality, and that personality makes them unique in every way.
When it comes to child rearing, there are some principles that help in parenting. The Scriptures are filled with parenting advice that if followed children will turn out for the good. The verse above is one of those verses that gives some parenting advice. God shows us some mistakes that parents make in rearing their children. If you will learn the principles God is teaching in this verse, then you will have a greater chance of your children doing right. Let me show you three mistakes from this verse that you should avoid as a parent.
The first mistake is using the rod alone. Notice the verse above says, “The rod and reproof…” A parent who only uses punishment without the reproof that comes with punishment is setting their child up to become angry with them. Parents should punish their children, but their children need to know why they are being punished. Every time you punish your child, it should be a teaching moment to teach them about life. Punishment alone will drive your child away from you.
The second mistake is using reproof alone. Reproof without punishment does not teach the child that sin has consequences. Many parents think it is cruel to punish their children, but if they don’t learn consequences come with wrong actions, then you are setting your children up for much heartache. I believe it is important to reprove your children and teach them why something is wrong, but when they do wrong they also need to learn the consequences that are a result of doing wrong.
The third mistake is spending time with your children, but not reproving and punishing them when they do wrong. The spectrum in this area goes both ways. Some parents reprove and punish but they don’t spend time with their children, and then there are other parents who spend time with their children but don’t punish and reprove them. All three are important to helping your children turn out right. A parent who does not spend any time with their children is a parent who is allowing others to influence over them. The greatest influence on a child should be their parent, and the only way they are going to have the prominent influence is by the parent spending time with them.
Are you making these common parenting mistakes? Punishment without reproof and lack of time together will cause a child to become foolish. Reproof without punishment and time together will again cause a child to live a foolish life. Punishment and reproof without a parent spending time with their child will bring shame to their parents. All three are important to children choosing a wise life and bringing honor to their parents. Make sure as a parent that you use all three tools to influence your child for right.