Song of Solomon 2:3
“As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.”
In the verse above, the wife says that her husband was “As the apple tree among the trees…” I like this because out of all the trees in the forest, the one to whom she was married stood out to her. Yes, there were other men around her, but to this lady her husband was the only one she noticed. She was so focused on her husband that she didn’t give time to the rest of the “trees of the wood.”
Every married person should have the same mentality concerning their spouse that this lady had about her husband. I’m afraid that too many times married people are looking in the forest for someone else instead of focusing on what they have. Many married people don’t see the benefits of their own spouse because they are looking at all the other trees in the forest. This little verse has several lessons that every married person needs to apply to their marriage.
First, don’t get wrapped up in all the others that you don’t see the benefits of what you do have. The lady in this verse was focused on what her husband gave to her. She wasn’t trying to see how much better all the others were for she was solely focused on her own spouse. If you’re not careful, you will miss the good of your own spouse because you are too busy comparing them to everyone else. Don’t ever compare your spouse to others. If you will look at the good that your spouse provides for you, then you won’t ever fall for the trap of comparing them to others.
Second, you can’t see the weaknesses of the others in the forest. The apple tree is not a pretty tree. I don’t know what the other trees were like in this forest that this lady was talking about, but I’m sure she could have easily seen them as better trees than the apple tree. One thing you must always remember is that the other trees at which you are looking will have their own flaws. They may seem pretty at a distance, but when you get closer you will find their flaws just like you found the flaws in your spouse after you got married. Going to someone else is not the answer. The answer is to realize that others have their flaws as well.
Third, the best way to stay focused on your spouse is to see the good they give you. This lady saw the love of her husband and how he provided for her. If you will look at your spouse, you will find that they have much good that they are providing. Stop focusing on the negative. You will never see the good in your spouse if all you do is focus not the negative. Look at the fruit of your spouse. See what being married to your spouse has done for you. If you will take your eyes off yourself, you will see that your spouse has a lot of merits from which you have benefited.
Friend, every person who is married will eventually see the flaws in their spouse. Don’t let those discovered flaws keep you from seeing the fruit from their tree. If you will choose to look at the fruit of being married to your spouse, then you can get to the point where you look at your spouse as an apple tree among the trees.