2 Samuel 13:6
“So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.”
The importance of the lessons a person can learn from the story of Amnon could never be over emphasized. Often, when reading this story, we look at Amnon’s friend and blame him for the wrong influence he had on his life. This is certainly true. Ammon’s friend helped him to come up with a plan to defile his own sister. This is very tragic.
However, I believe we miss one of the most important lessons from this story. Amnon did not learn to be manipulative and deceptive from his friend, but he learned it from his own father. You may recall that David was very manipulative and deceptive when it came to his affair with Bathsheba. What David perceived as a very private act was watched by those closest to him. What David did not expect was that his own children would learn how to manipulate situations to get what they wanted. Amnon learned the worst from the best. He learned how to do wrong from one of the best people in his life.
Several years ago when my daughter was much younger, I learned this lesson as I took her to school. The sun was in my eyes, so I grabbed my sunglasses from the visor. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my daughter grab her sunglasses. I thought I would see if she was copying me or simply trying to get the glare of the sun out of her eyes. I took my sunglasses and put them to my face and then immediately took them away and laid them on my lap. I watched my daughter do the same thing. I did this same action a couple of times and watched my daughter copy me with every move. That little action reminded me of my influence on my daughter in even the slightest areas of my life.
As a leader, you must be careful that you are not teaching your followers the worst ways of life. You may think that nobody is truly watching you, but your followers see what you are doing and they are copying you. It would be tragic if you teach your followers how to do wrong when on the larger scale you are doing right. What you think is one small indiscretion will be copied by those who follow you. The only difference is they will magnify what you are doing.
Likewise, every parent needs to be very cognizant of the influence they have on their children. The off-color words you use are being copied by your children. The things you watch on TV and see on the internet are being copied. The “little” sins that you are letting go unchanged will be magnified in your children’s lives. You must be careful that your children don’t learn the worst in life from you.
On the other hand, be careful that you don’t use the weaknesses of leaders as your excuse to do wrong. Just because a leader does wrong does not give you a right to do wrong. You are ultimately accountable for your own actions. God does not accept the excuse that you saw your leader do it. God expects you to do right no matter what others may do.
Let me ask you, what are you teaching those who follow you? Are they learning the worst from the best? I challenge you to get rid of those areas of your life that would hurt your followers if they copied them. Don’t ever become passive about those areas that you think nobody is watching. Always keep in mind that someone is watching you at all times, and your life is a constant lesson from which someone is learning. Be sure they are learning the best from you and not the worst.