1 Samuel 19:17
“And Saul said unto Michal, Why hast thou deceived me so, and sent away mine enemy, that he is escaped? And Michal answered Saul, He said unto me, Let me go; why should I kill thee?”
There are two stories with the same invaluable lesson for your marriage. The first story I want to point out is the story from the verse above. David is the son-in-law to King Saul. Michal, David’s wife, loved her husband dearly to the degree that she put her life on the line for him. Saul put Michal in a bad position when he sent his men to kill David, for he was forcing her to choose between him, her father, and her husband. As much as she loved her father, she made the wise choice in choosing her husband over her father.
The second story in found in 1 Samuel 25. Abigail was faced with a hard choice to defend her husband who was not a good man over David. David came to her husband and asked for food, but her husband answered him roughly even though he and his men had taken care of her husband’s servants. When she received word that David was going to kill her husband and his servants, she quickly found a way to appease David. Though Abigail’s husband was not what he was supposed to be, she still chose him in spite of his bad behavior.
In these stories you will find one of the most important lessons for a happy marriage. In both stories these ladies chose their husband over everyone else. They understood their role as a spouse. They understood that you always choose your spouse over family and others.
One of the greatest causes of marital problems is family. No matter how you look at it, you are going to have to deal with family in your marriage. It may be that your family are the one’s who are trying to cause division, or it could be your in-laws who are trying to cause the division in your marriage. In either case, it is important that you always choose your spouse over your family.
When you married your spouse, you vowed to choose them above all others. The exact phrase you said was, “…forsaking all others.” This phrase was not just talking about forsaking the opposite sex, but it was also talking about your family. This phrase gets its authority from Genesis 2:24 when it says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” You will notice that you are commanded to “cleave” unto your spouse. In other words, you should get so close to your spouse that nothing comes between you.
You are going to have to choose your spouse over all others if you are going to have a happy marriage. You must choose your spouse over your parents and siblings. You must choose your spouse over your own children. If you are forced to choose one of these over your spouse, you simply tell them that if they are going to force you to choose between the two, that you will choose your spouse every day of the week.
When your spouse knows that you will choose them over your parents, siblings and children, then that choice will instill a security in your marriage like nothing else can. Don’t ever let anything come between you and your spouse. Always remember that your spouse should be chosen above all else. When married couples get this settled, then they will discover the happiness that marriage can bring.