Genesis 24:37
“And my master made me swear, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife to my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell:”
Marriage is one of the greatest relationships you can have. Other than a relationship with Jesus Christ, a relationship with your spouse is the best and most rewarding relationship. Finding the right person to marry will certainly make marriage what God intended for it to be. When Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for Isaac, you find the qualities for what a young person should look for in a spouse.
First, the verse above shows that you should look for a person who is not of the world. Abraham didn’t want his son to marry “the daughters of the Canaanites.” A Christian has no business looking in the world for a spouse. That will only bring heartache to your marriage.
Second, verse 38 shows that you should look for a spouse of your own kind. Abraham told his servant to find a young lady who was of his “kindred.” In other words, it wasn’t good enough that they were not of the world, but he wanted his son to marry someone who was like them. One of the greatest causes of marital problems is couples don’t believe like each other. It is important when choosing someone to marry that you believe like each other spiritually and politically. These two areas have destroyed many marriages.
Third, verse 39 shows that you should look for a spouse who is willing to follow. I know this story is about a wife for Isaac, but I believe the principle of following is important in every marriage. If you are not done with the dating life, then you are not ready to be married. In other words, if you are not done looking around, then don’t get married. You should only get married when there is no one else whom you would rather be with than the person you are dating. You should only want to be with them and no one else for the rest of your life.
Fourth, verse 43 shows that you should look for someone who is pure. Purity before marriage will carry on after marriage. I’m not saying that a person who lost their purity before marriage will be unfaithful after marriage, but I am saying that it gives a higher chance of that happening. You need to stay pure, and you need to look for someone who has kept themselves pure.
Fifth, verse 43 shows that you should look for someone who is a worker. You don’t want to marry a lazy person. If they won’t work before they are married, then they won’t work after they are married.
Sixth, verse 43 shows that you should look for someone who is hospitable. You don’t want to marry someone who can’t get along with others and treat others right. Eventually they will treat you the same way they treat others. Look how someone treats those they don’t know to learn how they will eventually treat you.
Finally and most importantly, verse 45 shows that you should look for someone who is spiritual. Rebekah was spiritual enough to follow the LORD’s guidance to go at the right time and to also talk to Abraham’s servant. An unspiritual person makes a poor spouse. On the other hand, a spiritual person will make a great spouse. More than anything, you want a person who walks with God.
These are some of the most important qualities you should look for in a spouse. However, if you are married, you should be sure that you represent these qualities. If you lack in one of these areas, then you should work on it so that you can be for your spouse what God would want you to be. These qualities in a spouse will make for a long and happy marriage.