FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS OF THE HEART
by: Lonnie Mattingly
YOU GOTTA HAVE HEART
America’s families are in trouble today. With an ever increasing divorce rate and many others choosing to live together without the adult responsibility of marriage, our youth are growing up without a moral compass. Those of us who believe the Bible and know Christ as our personal Saviour have a tremendous opportunity and responsibility.
I want to give you an acrostic that spells the word “heart” and ask you to make the application to your family. I believe it could be life changing and may well save a marriage and salvage some young people for the cause of Christ.
Honor One Another
Proverbs 20:3 says, “It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.” We are so quick to pick and pull at one another. Our old nature is so prone to criticize and tear down. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing if our families and those we are trying to influence for the Lord would see and hear us overlooking one another’s faults and bragging on one another as we honor one another?
Enthusiasm – (In Theos – in God)
Colossians 3:23 says, “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all God’s people got excited about the family. We need to be excited about family opportunities and not always be down and discouraged. We all have times when we “visit” those difficult places, but we should decide we will not live there.
Having family devotions and prayer will do a lot toward chasing away the negative when done in the right way. Don’t forget, you produce what you are, not what you want.
Affectionate – Expressing Your Love
Romans 12:9-10 says, “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;”
Even a government agency will do things right on occasion. A few years back the Department of Human Resources put out bumper stickers that asked the question, “Have you hugged your kid today?” Because of the failure of many families to show any affection we are raising sociopaths with no feelings or emotions. We have kids killing parents, teachers and other kids.
It’s OK to be affectionate. Don’t tell me, “It’s just not my personality.” Change your personality! God never instructs us to do something that is outside of our ability. The greatest gift (outside of the message of salvation) that you can give your children is a set of parents who are madly in love with one another and it shows.
Responsibility … Responsiveness
Ephesians 5:21-25 says, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
A wife needs to be submissive to and aware of her husband’s desires and needs. At the same time, the husband is instructed to love his wife and consider her needs. We should be alert and aware of signals and symptoms that telegraph deeper needs.
Don’t react, respond.
Don’t take each other for granted.
Tenderhearted
Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” The word “tenderhearted” comes from a Greek word that means easily moved. We must work at a family relationship that is forgiving and trusting. True love “Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”
Someone said the two most difficult words to say are “I’m sorry.” Someone else said they are, “I forgive.” I don’t know how difficult they are to say, but I know they are sometimes very hard to really mean. Why not start today. Aren’t you glad that Christ forgave you?
Let’s put real HEART back in our homes. Let’s have genuine revival in our homes. Let’s fall in love with Christ all over again, and let’s fall in love with our family again and let it show.
Lonnie Mattingly
Pastor Emeritus – Shawnee Baptist Church
Founder – Shawnee Baptist College
www.loniemattingly.com