Dealing with Wayward Children
Genesis 28:6
“When Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob, and sent him away to Padanaram, to take him a wife from thence; and that as he blessed him he gave him a charge, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan;”
Rarely, do I preach in a church without someone coming to me and asking me to pray for their wayward child. There is probably nothing that weighs heavier on a parent’s heart, other than a sick child, than to have a child who has gone wayward. I have talked to many broken-hearted parents who were seeking for answers concerning their wayward children.
Having a wayward child is not a modern-day problem, it has been a problem from the first two children born. Isaac and Rebekah experienced the pain of a wayward child in Esau. Certainly, there were some extreme circumstances that led to Esau’s rebellion, but that still didn’t take the pain away from Isaac and Rebekah. The Scriptures even show us that it broke their heart when it says in Genesis 26:34-35, “And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.” Well before the incident of Jacob stealing the blessing, Esau had been a wayward child. Let me give you some thoughts from the life of Isaac and Rebekah on dealing with wayward children.
First, you must ask yourself if you have done anything wrong. Please do not take this as a condemnation of your parenting skills; I am not trying to cast stones at you. However, when you look at Esau going wayward, you can see that his parent’s actions had a part in leading to his wayward heart. Whenever a child goes wayward, you must look and see if there is something that you’ve done that has led to this. I’m certain you will come up with many things, for none of us are perfect parents. But, I’m specifically talking about some action that is glaring that you can correct. Esau’s parents played favorites, and gave his blessing to Jacob. Though Esau should have trusted God, Isaac and Rebekah were partly at fault. If you are doing something that could lead to a wayward heart, then correct it.
Second, pray for your child. A day should never go by that you don’t bring your child to the LORD. The LORD can deal with your child’s wayward actions much better than you can. Too often, parents want to preach at their children instead of pray for their children. I promise you, praying for your child will do more to bring them back than preaching at them every time you get a chance. They expect you to preach at them, and that only makes their heart harder, but prayer gets God involved in bringing them back, and He can deal with them in a way that you can’t.
Third, love your child where they are. I’m not saying condone their actions, you should never do this. I am saying that your child still needs your love. They need to see that your love is unconditional. Part of loving your child is not compromising who you are to bring them back. When they see that you still love them unconditionally, that will bring great conviction on their heart.
Finally, don’t ever give up on them coming back. Esau eventually changed his life, but it was many years later. You may think your child will never come back, but I encourage you to keep praying and loving them. You never know what is going on in their heart. Just keep doing what you are supposed to do, trust God and never lose hope that they will come back to God.